Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > steamyandsexybi > Orgasmic Distractions |
Porn***********
|
Porn*********** What I've Learned From All Those Porno Movies 1. Women wear high heels to bed. 2. Men are never impotent. 3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory. 4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her. 5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm. 6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men. 7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob. 8. Women always orgasm when men do. 9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket. 10. All women are noisy fucks. 11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background. 12. Those tits are real. 13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his, half-erect penis and slap it repeated on a woman's butt. 14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum. 15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other (and the girl isn't disgusted!) 16. Double penetration makes women smile. 17. Asian men don't exist. 18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth. 19. There's a plot. 20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman bygiving her a gentle slap on the butt. 21. Nurses suck patients’ cocks. 22. Men always pull out. 23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you. 24. Women never have headaches... or periods. 25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it". 26. Assholes are clean. 27. A man ejaculating on a woman’s butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned. 28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there. 29. Men don't have to beg. 30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.  |
||||
|
~ Ewww!  Well, ok...I used to like porn...til ya HAD to put that thought in my head!!!! Frankly, my dear.....I think even a porn star would deny such crap! LOL!! (and you say I'm evil....lol)
| |||
|
LOL!!! Are you related to my ex, by chance? Welcome to my blog!
| |||
|
Youre welcome, sweetie! Today wasnt too great for me, neither!!! Hugs~~~ Welcome to my blog!
| |||
1/13/2007 7:46 pm |
very, very, funny! but of course thats wrong because all of this so immoral and disgusting. i can't believe you would post this, you are such a skanky twat!  
| |||
|
Oooohhh!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna hurry up and go order a pizza!  I'll be back!!!!LOL!!!!
| |||
|
very, very, funny! but of course thats wrong because all of this so immoral and disgusting. i can't believe you would post this, you are such a skanky twat! Are you SURE your initials dont stand for Dirty Little Biotch? (well, they should be....You IMPOTENT SKANK!))) lol From what I hear, there's "Plenty O Fish" out there! 
| |||
|
12" will fit just perfectly for him!
| |||
|
| |||
|
*shakes head* Not a very good thought with my coffee first thing in the morning...........
| |||
|
I'd rather not remember, Thanks! lol
| |||
|
i always suspected porn was very educational! lol... thanks for confirming it ... sweet kisses to you sexy  Long time, no see! I hope youre doing well!! I've missed ya!! ~sweet kisses back to you..........
| |||
|
I'll be over there in a minute. Thanks!
| |||
|
You know, It didnt even phase me....your handle! Sly..........mmmmmmmmmm.....he drives me crazy~ Now, he is for me 100%!!!!!
| |||
|
Sweetie, I dont mind not one bit!!! "Spread The Love!" (It looks like someones doing a fine job of chasing after you in your blog, I noticed) Good luck with that!!
| |||
1/14/2007 6:02 am |
Love your blog you are so insightful and funny. Kent
| |||
|
Love your blog you are so insightful and funny. Kent What would the world be like if there wasnt any laughter, right? "Laughter" is the best medicine! Its so true! Welcome to my blog!
| |||
|
I'll never look at porn the same way again! {=}   {=}kisses, hugs, and sweet soft licks{=}
| |||
|
I'll never look at porn the same way again!{=} Ummmm...make that 2 of us!! 
| |||
|
I'm NOT saying anything. lol Soon enough.....soon enough.
| |||
1/14/2007 12:22 pm |
great post babe!! #19 is a great one!!
| |||
|
 Isnt it?!!!Thanks
| |||
|
great post babe!! #19 is a great one!!
| |||
1/14/2007 3:34 pm |
and it's not even valentines day yet. just think if we lived near each other..i would have picked you up tonight and we could have went to a movie!! and then gone out for a drink. and that's all. give you a kiss goodnight and feel all warm and fuzzy!!
| |||
1/14/2007 4:15 pm |
This post really brings back some funny memories.
| |||
1/15/2007 7:35 am |
These are cute. Love, Light, Laughter, Leave a Legacy, Greg
|
Become a member to create a blog
