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Wet Hot American Pussy
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Wet Hot American Pussy Did you know that there's NOT a porn parody of Wet Hot American Summer ? Seriously when is the porn industry going to stop letting me down ? And I know what you're saying "40 that movie was a critical and commercial failure the porn industry doesn't waste their time on parodying movies no one remembers" but to that I say it's a cult classic it is ! Man , that movie came out in 2001 . What were you doing in 2001 ? I was blithely captaining (or co-captaining) the sinking ship of my comic book store and thinking "I could do this for another 15 years or so" . Recently Booby McBooberBoob contacted me about "pimping" my blog because its "funny" and while I object to her trivialization of sex trafficking I said yes of course because I NEED attention . Then I realized my last several blog posts have been the morose and unfunny kind - even putting aside the fact that this blog may or may not be funny normally . And I know what you're thinking ""40 this blog is always morose and unfunny , THAT's what makes it funny" . You people are fucking sick . Although I hear the titles are the best part anyway . Anyway , this is going to be another one of those . I realized today that I am sad . Not because match girl gave me my walking papers (although she did) . Not because I had to cancel my weekend plans with Asswoman 1852 (although I did) . Not because I alienated one of my best friends over something stupid (although I did) . Not because my dad is having issues with his hip replacement (although he is) . But because I don't know what to do . If you're unhappy you should do things that make you happy . I don't know what that is anymore . Nothing really does it for me anymore . Everything I do just feels like killing time . And for what ? What's coming down the pike (pipe ? ) ? I was in a retarded (sorry) development meeting today and someone (it was me) actually said something intelligent - people complain about how no one is developing them but what are you goals ? What do you want ? Without that there can be no advancement . And I feel like that's my issue - I don't really want anything . Not anything real anyway . I mean I want to run my own wrestling promotion that's bigger than the WWE and be a billionaire and get laid all the time but that's akin to wanting to be a superhero - its just childish fantasy . And I'm not depressed , I'm just sad . And that's okay . People are sad sometimes . I mentioned the other day something insulting someone said to me 30 years ago and the person to whom I was speaking says to me she says "Why do you always remember the bad things and never the good ?" And my first thought was because I'm a pessimistic such and such , but then I realized that it actually makes logical sense . Because compliments are often bullshit , but insults are always sincere . People say nice things for many reasons , they don't want to hurt your feelings , or they're trying to manipulate you , or they're trying to build your self esteem or they're just lying for the fun of lying , or what have you - they may even be genuine . But when someone says that you have a weird shaped head , or you're lousy in bed , or you look like a llama , or that your ass is too big - its because they mean it . So I blow off compliments because they may or may not be sincere and since you can't tell the difference there is no difference , ergo they're all insincere effectively . But I remember slights because they're true . Plus compliments even if sincere only mean something coming from certain people - whereas everyone is eligible to be an insultor . I recall one one time pounding my desk angrily saying "You think I'm just going to sit here and be complimented by the likes of YOU ?!" Anyway , maybe this next bit will be a little funny . I got to wondering today what life is like for the dude that played Ogre in Revenge of the Nerds (note to self , is there a porn parody of that ? ) . I assumed he never really did anything else or was just in B-movies (is that still a term ? ) which was probably okay to him since I doubted her was a serious actor . I thought it would be funny if he still went around trying to play off the "fame" of being in Revenge of the Nerds but I didn't think he actually did it . "I was OGRE damn it ! Bump me up to first class bitch !" Everyone asked said they thought he was either dead or a drugged out loser with various jail stints . Which shows people's mean side eh ? Anyway , if you believe the internet the truth is that he was in a bunch of movies and had small parts on TV shows and was on some HBO show I never heard of for 7 years . So I guess he did alright . I always wonder what its like to have a career in Hollywood but never be somebody . Its kind of be kind of weird . Its probably like someone who's 4th string on an NFL team . I also wonder what its like to be the lead on a popular show and then never really do anything else . Speaking of shows I know you've been waiting breathlessly for my report on my most recent Deadwood viewing which I'm probably said the same thing about at least twice . Tonight I watched Suffer the Little which is the one (spoiler alert) where Cy kills Flora , which is what gets all the press but to me this episode has the absolute worst thing that happens in the whole series - and this is a series where a lot of bad shit happened . And the perpetrator is Alma . She tells Trixie that she can come to New York with her - escaping the life that drove her to attempt (BANNED TOPIC) - and then she reneges . And why ? Because she might get laid . And I grant you Timothy Olyphant is a DAMN handsome man , but that is stone cold . Why is it worse than all the horrible things other people did ? Because those things were a choice between nothing and something horrible - Alma had a chance to do something good , GOOD I say , and she threw it away for nothing . And you may be saying "40 , things didn't turn out so bad for Trixie" but that's not the point is it ? Alma had every reason to believe that she was dooming Trixie to death , or a life as good as , and she did it because she was randy . For shame Alma , for shame . Someone reminded me of the horrible Catwoman movie Halle Berry was in (remember when I had the hots for her before I found he she's apparently a real cunt ? ) and it got me to thinking about the actors that have been in DC and Marvel movies and the mash-up you could do . Halle Berry as Storm-Cat (master thief with weather control BTW is an earthquake "weather" ? ) Ben Affleck as Bat-Devil (Batman and Daredevil are kind of the same character so , you know) Ryan Reynolds as Dead-Lantern (Deadpool with a power ring ? Indeed) Now that's a movie ! And finally I noticed my GPS is sometimes giving me arrival times a few minutes in the past . And I know what you're thinking "40 , the time on your GPS is messed up , also get a mobile phone already !" But I feel instead that one of these days its going to say "In 400 feet , enter the time portal , on right" .  And finally , finally I noticed ONE person stopped watching my blog . The nerve ! I hope this person starts their own blog so I can start watching and then stop watching it so they know how I feel . Not so bad really I guess . 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I love the idea of Dead Lantern! It's made me all wet and tingling! btw - I totally understand the fake compliment/sincere insult thing Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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I never did see Wet Hot American Summer (the original). I tried watching the Netflix remake and it seriously annoyed me. I want to try to think of something that might make you happy. A new pet? Bake yourself a lovely pie? (you can tell I just finished season 3 of the Great American Baking Show). Point is, it doesn't have to be something huge like getting a different job.   
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I have no idea what wet hot american summer is or was I'm not a movie person. Insults are great, should be more of them so the stupid people know they're stupid. "Hey! You're fucking stupid" People can be sad sometimes it's the other side to being too happy, enjoy it it may help you find that missing link. Good blog 40
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Um, what's up with the "beautiful" and "nice" comments? Did they even read this post? I will assume that you will try all sorts of things to figure out what will make you happy, again. I've gone through periods like that. Do radical interesting things and find out if any of those make you happy. Me? I sleeping in the Denver airport, waiting for my flight in the morning... Kk The observant make the best lovers, I may not do right, but I do write, I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life, Kitkat Come check out my blog KItkat1415 check out this post by me Adventures In Body Grooming #39 April Topic Link: What Lies Beneath If April Showers Oh Bloody Hell What Kind Of Weather Turns Me On Bloggers Symposium 40
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