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FWB or FB, how is this interpreted?
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FWB or FB, how is this interpreted? I am again unfulfilled in a meeting with a LesbianPersonals Friend, no mention of whom, and not to discredit that person, I am just left with a feeling that I should give more, but I do not want to, so I do not. Selfish, or not, it is who I am & who I wish to be.  Lets take a quick look at “Friends with Benefits” , aka FWB, and please respect this if you would, and if you agree or disagree, take a look at where you are in your life before reaching into someone else's life and even considering doing this by passing judgement. A (FW  relationship is meant to be "temporary", which is why plenty of people have them and continue to have them. It is also the reason why so many people disdain these types of relationships, and I can understand the emotional aspect of this, but, lets try to keep that part out of this part of the equation....it is NOT GENDER SPECIFIC what so ever.......in fact, more Females then Males have FWB in my opinion, and if you consider vibrators or dildos, FWB....well, then mechanically they have the Men outnumbered and out powered, a little humor right....>>! happyf; happym; Here is where I personally see the FWB, if you’re relocating soon, just ended a serious relationship or are very focused on your career, and just not ready, the a FWB can be ideal till you’re ready for the real thing, but keeping in mind, both parties must agree to this. I am not relationship expert, but, I have recently been contacted by ladies whom I would love to spend time with, but, all I am looking for is FWB, nothing more, then I get the shoulder of coldness or uncertainty. Frankly, I am just too busy and not interested in the other elements of dating, etc. Yeah, call it what you will, but, it is what it is and always will be, just that proverbial, I wanna fuck and cum, release this pressure, and I do like you, but, it ends with the door closing as you leave for your place.  In a general statement, “Most people do this because they want to have sex, as we all have needs in a physical way, but are not interested in, or not in a position to, have a more committed relationship When you’re not dating anyone, sex with a good friend can be a great way to let off steam and have fun. interpreted ” But here’s the caveat: "Don’t start a FWB relationship with someone you secretly want to date". General statement, “When women settle for a FWB rather than create the long-term relationship they really want, it’s ultimately unsatisfying,” or so I am told, but, I do not really believe this. I think that is changing in our lifetime. Anyway, let me hear your thoughts... Well, after some very good feedback and thoughts, maybe the FWB should be changed to FB. I tend to agree, as some comments focused on Friendships and the focus on longterm. I agree. Most of my FWB are still Friends, and I will leave that as it is, some emotional tie in, but, not a full commitment of the relationship and emotional side. I am the type to meet and immediately develop a friendship, although not complete emotionally and such, but a passing friendship. Not all people have that view and I get it.  |
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I think what you're describing is "NSA" not "FWB" ... as the one point with "friends with benefits" is "Friends". Friends aren't "temporary". Benefits perhaps are... but if you're the type to just toss friends aside at a whim... But that's just me.
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your Friends with Benefits - sounds more like FUCK BUDDIES who ONLY meet to have sex ... and no other FRIENDSHIP is to be had. Both can be agreed upon not to have long lasting emotional ties, and re-evaluated at intervals to make sure that is still the place both need to be. But if you are going to be FRIENDS, Friends have emotional ties and they DO things together other than just sexual playtime. 
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what you described to me is a "fuck buddy" not a FWB, my perception of a FWB and i have had many of those on here over the years, is someone who takes you out spends time with you but there is no chance on either parts of a "relationship" developing. I have dated many men fabulous guys i had a great time with them but i would NEVER have settled down with just them, perhaps they were "fillers" but both sides had fun...there have been a small handful of the multitudes i have been with that when feelings and emotions were involved the sex was off the charts, but again people should discuss whats acceptable, at this point if i find that again (feelings and emotions) i dont want to share, so if a man is not into that mode i really have no desire to start fucking them...of course the FWB type of guy i will still use as my fillers      je ne regrette rien
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I've written about this both here and in a group I belong to. The fundamental problem is that there is no such thing as a standard definition for the concept of "friend with benefits. There are so many definitions and each one is as valid as the next. I think there is some wisdom in what you wrote, I tend to agree with the idea of, "Don’t start a FWB relationship with someone you secretly want to date". but how does one define "temporary". Is it and on again, off again thing? Once it ends is it a "never again" type thing? Can it ever morph into something more serious and open ended? If you were to ask those questions of 5 random people on this site, you would likely get 100 different (and equally valid answers). And oh yeah, there's the human element. Our behaviors and emotions are not fixed; humans are dynamic and our interactions only increase the imprecision in predicting how we will feel or react in a given circumstance. So if you can't reliably predict how how someone else will respond once you've had sex a few times what does one do? Be as honest as possible about your expectations and boundaries and act accordingly. That's where I see a lot of folks fall short. If I had a dime for the times when I've seen someone talk about continuing a sexual relationship with someone who they knew harbored deeper feelings (or on the flip side continuing to have sex knowing that person would never return their feelings) I could be wealthy. But that's a whole other story. (full disclosure time, I'm a social scientist by training and I find human interaction very interesting)
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Thank you for the thoughts....
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