For A Ms. In the Me Decade, A Miss Of A Swinging Experience - a Blog Post by humorlife

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9/18/2015 4:36 am

For A Ms. In the Me Decade, A Miss Of A Swinging Experience

There are some experiences which even “What the hell – it was the ‘70s” can’t justify.

Consider the following phrases, and then ask how a remembrance from the 1970s could end in anything but disappointment, if not disaster: Co-worker. First date. Swinger’s party.

Squirming with anticipated discomfort yet? Fortunately Janie Emaus, in a Huffington Post blog piece titled “Come Swing With Me,” didn’t seem to suffer anything worse than a mild case of embarrassment. Furthermore, the 40 or so years that have passed since the incident she describes seem to have blunted the sting.

According to Emaus, a co-worker she’d had a crush on – yellow flag number one – interoffice dating can be tricky, if not downright prohibited by company policy – invited her to a swinger’s party for their first date – yellow flag number two – if two people decide to swing together, it should be after a lot of discussion about respect, potential scenarios, expectations, and repercussions.

Emaus accepted, despite being right in the middle of “my decade of wanting so badly to be loved, to find a husband, to start a family that I was willing to say yes to anything” – yellow flags number three through 16 or so – swinging is an activity which, if done in couples, should be done for the joy of it, and not with ulterior motives. The swinging community ain’t your therapist or your matchmaker.

There are a lot of questions one might ask when first pondering swinging, even in the pre-safer-sex go-go times of the Nixon administration. What will be expected? How many people will be there? Should I bring a covered dish? (There’s some wiggle room on that last question.)

What question immediately jumped to Emaus’s mind? “What should I wear?”

Fair’s fair: As she notes, “Seconds later the word NO swelled to goliath proportions within my mind, but failed to come out.” Ah, love…

Emaus consulted with a friend, who observed that “guys needed dates to get into swinger parties and pointed out he wouldn't have asked me if he wasn't into me.” Of course – because treating someone as a meal ticket and putting that person immediately into an awkward solution is the sincerest form of showing you’re into someone. With friends like that…

Did I mention that this story took place during the ‘70s? To give it that authentic period feel, Emaus notes that on the day of the event, she wore “hip hugger bell bottoms jeans and a yellow crop top, exposing way more skin than I ever had at work.”

I’ve stopped counting warning flags: I think we’re up in the two dozen area. Uncomfortable situation, clothing which causes consternation… what else could Emaus have done to compound her awkwardness?

How about having a date who was a jerk? Once Emaus and her arrived at the party, her date breezed past the gentleman who opened the door, found a group of conventionally dressed people who were discussing daycare issues, didn’t introduce himself – or her – and began making double entendres which fell flat.

Emaus’s conclusion? “It was obvious we were not at a swinger's party. We had crashed a simple friends' get-together.” Alas, her date was a little slower on the uptake: “Suddenly [Emaus’s date] stood and demanded to see the room ‘where all the action took place.’ Without getting an answer, he headed down the hallway toward the back of the house, the owner following on his heels.”

There was no action, of course… and Emaus and her date ended up leaving shortly thereafter, with Emaus’s date cursing the name of the person who had given him the wrong address.

Good God almighty… does anyone else think this is a perfect historical analog for men on this site who email women with the opening line “wanna fuck?” And… if the fact that it was the Me Decade was enough to excuse their behavior back then (it wasn’t, but bear with me) what’s their excuse now?

Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic

Gntillhom 68M

5906 posts
9/18/2015 4:48 am

Oh my ! This sounds like a very, very bad erotica (even if you didn't write it and it's way over 250 words)

JE SUIS
CHARLIE

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My standard members mailbox xoxox Ma messagerie pour standards

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