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| Blogs > peekabooicu2ucme > Musings and mayhem of my mind |
Shaking my head in disgust
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Shaking my head in disgust I had to call the ex today to get some diapers for the wee one. I called after noticing that he had texted my cell phone a couple of times, once to ask if I'd changed my email address, and once to say that he wishes that I still had feelings for him. I answered the first question on the phone, (no, I just haven't been on IM much lately because I'm busy) and ignored the second. No good could come of mentioning it, or commenting on it. After I hung up I got another asking me if I would ever change my mind and go out with him. Again, ignoring it was the way to go. When he dropped off the diapers later he asked me about a certain friend of mine, and started a pointless argument full of insults. I just asked him to leave as there is no point in arguing. I don't care what he thinks any more. If it's not about the , why bother? He mentioned that he has someone watching my house and so knows who comes and goes and when.  I'm not making any secret of the fact that I'm dating and have moved on so I really don't care who is "reporting" what, I just find it incredibly sad that he cares so much what I am doing and with whom. Of course I got the follow up apology call a few minutes later, but it really is sad that this sort of thing keeps happening. I don't care what he's doing, why bother spying on me? We're not together anymore, I've made it VERY clear that we will never be together again. I've repeatedly stated that we only communicate at all for the sake of the . Why is this such a hard concept to get? I keep hoping that he will mature into a reasonable adult, but I am not holding my breath. It just makes me so discouraged to think that I will have to deal with this bullshit for as long as he refuses to pull his head out of his ass. I've been more than decent to him. I'm dreading the holidays. I know there will have to be some "family time" for the . I'm just so tired of having him make snarky comments and making jabs at me and my friends in front of our . Our love both of us, and my friends too. They shouldn't be made to feel like they have to choose sides and should feel free to talk about whomever they wish without getting an attitude. (IE "We had a really good time bowling with mom and her friend") I know that the are smart and will get it all on their own without me ever saying anything, I just wish they were allowed to be now and not have to edit themselves to please their father, or feel like they have to keep secrets. My father made horrible comments about my mother all the time and always gave me and my brother's the third degree when we came to his house from our mother's. I resented the hell out of it, and hated him so much. We will never be really close after all of the years of that shit. It drove me and my brother's away from him. I tried explaining this to the ex, but either he doesn't get it, or he doesn't care. I dunno, it's just really tragic. Anybody else have a similar situation? Or did you divorce a sane one?   |
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I left Sasrsota Fl. and filed for divorce in 1993 and I have not looked back since... Won  .
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11/16/2009 8:45 pm |
I wonder if your husband's spy is watching your stalker's spy. They both probably have the same notes. "there is a guy sitting in a car in front of the house writing in a notebook". It's getting awfully crowded in the bushes by your place. The mistake you made with this guy is you had kids, not that your kids are a mistake, but it does mean you're gonna have to deal with his shit at least until the youngest turns 18. You're gonna be stuck with snarky comments for a long time. I luckily didn't have kids so after a couple years I was able to run for the hills and now I almost never hear from her or about her. As for his comments in front of the kids, it's probably good that you're not holding your breath waiting for him to mature. Pride and possessiveness are two very strong male characteristics, though strangely not characteristics of strong males. Stupid word play, but I'm in one of those moods. My point being is that most people are horrible at seeing themselves from outside themselves. Which is why he can't see how he is being the jackass right now til much later when he apologizes, only to be the jackass again a short time later. The nasty comments and insults sooth his injured pride, and his possessiveness keeps him from accepting that he's already lost you. My guess is that you'll probably have to deal with this in cycles. Every time he gets those old feelings again he'll be telling you how much he loves you and needs you back, followed by how much of a slut and whore you are when it doesn't work. Then things will be ok for awhile until the next time he catches some old feelings. The good news is the space between cycles should get longer and longer as time goes by. You should just pay me to kill him, I could use the money. 
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11/17/2009 1:02 am |
Pretty shitty situation, especially with holidays. I'm seperated from a good one, the best probably. Still get on with her and her family. No kids, thankfully, so fallout is minimised.
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really sorry to hear this my love, its not nice at all esp when there r children involved, really hope it gets better for u at some stage. big hugs xoxoxoxox Life is what we make it, so let's make it good!!!  come visit my blog bettiebear Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away.     
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I left Sasrsota Fl. and filed for divorce in 1993 and I have not looked back since... Won 
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Manipulating the kids is such a crappy thing to do. I hate it, but like I said, kids are smart. They get it.
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It's so much easier to walk away without that paperwork... Glad you got out safely. 
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I wonder if your husband's spy is watching your stalker's spy. They both probably have the same notes. "there is a guy sitting in a car in front of the house writing in a notebook". It's getting awfully crowded in the bushes by your place. The mistake you made with this guy is you had kids, not that your kids are a mistake, but it does mean you're gonna have to deal with his shit at least until the youngest turns 18. You're gonna be stuck with snarky comments for a long time. I luckily didn't have kids so after a couple years I was able to run for the hills and now I almost never hear from her or about her. As for his comments in front of the kids, it's probably good that you're not holding your breath waiting for him to mature. Pride and possessiveness are two very strong male characteristics, though strangely not characteristics of strong males. Stupid word play, but I'm in one of those moods. My point being is that most people are horrible at seeing themselves from outside themselves. Which is why he can't see how he is being the jackass right now til much later when he apologizes, only to be the jackass again a short time later. The nasty comments and insults sooth his injured pride, and his possessiveness keeps him from accepting that he's already lost you. My guess is that you'll probably have to deal with this in cycles. Every time he gets those old feelings again he'll be telling you how much he loves you and needs you back, followed by how much of a slut and whore you are when it doesn't work. Then things will be ok for awhile until the next time he catches some old feelings. The good news is the space between cycles should get longer and longer as time goes by. You should just pay me to kill him, I could use the money.  It's funny you should mention the cycles thing, a good friend of mine mentioned that it was a good thing that the texting and harassment had gotten to be so much less than it was. Obviously he jinxed me.  I don't have a lot of money, but you know, that manny position is still open and I could feed ya. 
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I guess you never know how anybody is going to act or react. I don't think he'd turn violent, and I hope not. It's just the possessive jealous, petty stuff that's going to emotionally harm the kids.
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Pretty shitty situation, especially with holidays. I'm seperated from a good one, the best probably. Still get on with her and her family. No kids, thankfully, so fallout is minimised. I just do my best to make it as ok for the kids as I can. They know, they see.
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No kids here, missed out on the joys of fatherhood.
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really sorry to hear this my love, its not nice at all esp when there r children involved, really hope it gets better for u at some stage. big hugs xoxoxoxox
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It is selfish and childish. Maybe someday he'll get it. I dunno.
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