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| Blogs > spunkycumfun > Sexy TIMES |
WHERE THERE'S MUCK, THERE'S BRASS
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WHERE THERE'S MUCK, THERE'S BRASS  I’ve just started a new job yesterday. I’m now a gold prospector though I prospect for gold in human faeces. In the trade, I’m known or as a poo prospector or, depending where you come from, a toilet miner! As a farmer’s , I’m very aware of the maxim, 'where’s the muck, there’s brass.' In fact, where’s human muck, there’s lots of brass. And when I saw a recent article about toilet mining, I immediately decided to launch my new career as a poo prospector. American researchers have found that there are substantial precious metal deposits in human faeces. Dr Kathleen Smith of the US Geological Survey led a research team that collected and analysed many samples of human faeces taken from all around America. The team found the faecal waste of one million American contains about $13 million worth of precious metals. "Human faeces could be a goldmine," Dr Kathleen Smith announced, "because they are full of precious metals. Solid waste contains an abundance of gold, silver, and other metals, as well as rare elements such as palladium and vanadium". I’ve just completed my training and I’m now a fully qualified poo prospector. I have the certificate to prove it! Also, I’ve secured permission from Nottingham City Council to pan its public toilets for gold. I’m the first approved poo prospector in the city of Nottingham! As yesterday was my first day at work, I took a series of photographs, posted below, to mark this special occasion. It was a very hard and very dirty day at work. First, my hand had to get in the correct position before waiting for my first customer to use the quite upmarket toilet. After gathering and panning the poo, I picked up my very first gold nugget, which I then had smelted into a gold bar. My first customer, who I later learnt was called Harry Dunne, proved to be a very lucrative supplier of poo! The biggest problem of my job is supply or, rather, lack of supply. I’m hoping my friends in blogland can help out and send me their bagged-up poo to at the following address: FriendFinder Networks, Customer Service Department, 220 Humboldt Court, Sunnyvale CA 94089, United States of America. I’m happy to send friends a poo bag at a cost of £1 per ton bag or £8 for 10 bags (including postage and packaging). Moreover, I’m happy to pay £10 for each ton of poo received. This business deal, I’m sure you agree, offers a fantastic rate of return on your investment. I also offer a range of franchise deals for those wanting to run their own business from home. These franchise deals include the provision of certified poo prospecting training. Are you happy to be an official supplier to my poo prospecting business? If so, how many bags would you like me to send you? Are you interested in applying for a poo prospecting franchise?     |
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"Solid waste contains an abundance of gold, silver, and other metals, as well as rare elements such as palladium and vanadium" Hmmm... I can only speak for myself, but my arse works on the basis that I can only poo out what I've put in. In which case there must be an abundance of gold, silver and rare elements in what I ingest. I hope this doesn't become common knowledge or the price of booze and kebabs will go through the roof! 
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Are you happy to be an official supplier to my poo prospecting business?  Well there was a saying we once used,,,,,,,, "Shi**ing a brick". Now that there is a potential value, perhaps we can reach an accord If so, how many bags would you like me to send you? I think we will have to negotiate a better rate, after all, those studies seem to indicate that although Americans maybe full of ,,,  "product". the market value may be higher than you are offering  Are you interested in applying for a poo prospecting franchise? I think not, I am quite happy in retirement
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who will pan for gold in the outhouses? Count me out!! “Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh Come and read my blog! Become a watcher! veryfunnycple64 
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 Is this the 3D printing of tomorrow I wonder? Do you think we can set up factories where people shit to order?  This is a sterling venture McPunkster, one which will likely earn you a hospital wing somewhere!
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Very cool topic. I been watching Yukon Gold and few more gold rush programs.. too funny today spunky hugsssssssss V Going to have to pass on this one! Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Just remember, you're the one who brought it up..... [image] Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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I think you've finally lost it!!! ~~Anais Nin~~
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Happy Friday! Visit my blog It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World of NaughtyInSO, leave a comment, become a watcher. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LIVE AND LET LIVE Be happy! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Check your mail.
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No shit Sherlock! A couple are tying to save money on their water bills by not flushing their toilet so often. After a few days, the woman says, "We're going to have to go back to Flushing the toilet, you know. The smell's getting really bad." "You're right says the man, "And pressing the toilet seat all the way down is getting harder and harder."  
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It still seems like a crappy deal to me. Happy HNW. Jewelry on HNW The New Food Pyramid Courtesy of Mom They Don't Like That in Heaven [post 3312759] My Private Blog – Tell me All your Secrets
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There's more to do for you, in the energy field. As a human being fart round to 5 liters a day, you ought to extract methane from it. As for your questions, I'll quote Amy Winehouse : no ! no !! no !!! and go drink a quart of Jack Daniel's.
 [post 3567855] My standard members mailbox xoxox Ma messagerie pour standards
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I am more than happy to send my poo to the suggested address. It's only fair they get some crap back! Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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Never thought of this as a career, but okay  Thanks for stopping by.
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What the hell did I just read here? Thanks for stopping by.
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"Solid waste contains an abundance of gold, silver, and other metals, as well as rare elements such as palladium and vanadium" Hmmm... I can only speak for myself, but my arse works on the basis that I can only poo out what I've put in. In which case there must be an abundance of gold, silver and rare elements in what I ingest. I hope this doesn't become common knowledge or the price of booze and kebabs will go through the roof! I think if my pee was recycled, I'd never have to buy dry white wine again!
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Are you happy to be an official supplier to my poo prospecting business? Well there was a saying we once used,,,,,,,, "Shi**ing a brick". Now that there is a potential value, perhaps we can reach an accordIf so, how many bags would you like me to send you? I think we will have to negotiate a better rate, after all, those studies seem to indicate that although Americans maybe full of ,,, "product". the market value may be higher than you are offering Are you interested in applying for a poo prospecting franchise? I think not, I am quite happy in retirement
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who will pan for gold in the outhouses? Count me out!!
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Is this the 3D printing of tomorrow I wonder? Do you think we can set up factories where people shit to order? This is a sterling venture McPunkster, one which will likely earn you a hospital wing somewhere!
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Are you happy to be an official supplier to my poo prospecting business? Sorry no darlin'. If so, how many bags would you like me to send you? not applicable Are you interested in applying for a poo prospecting franchise? No it's not very lucrative. It would take six years for the average person to poo a ton, based on my figures below. Normal amount of poo for a human? The normal range spans three times a day to once every three days, meaning the average person poops approximately once a day—about 1 ounce of stool for each 12 pounds of her or his body weight. That means a person weighing 160 pounds produces an average of just under a pound of poop each day. However, they are still seeking volunteers' poo to harvest good gut flora to treat illness and will pay up to $250 per week. At that rate, you could say we all potentially sitting on a gold mine. FUN POO FACTS: The skipper caterpillar is just an inch and a half long but can shoot its poop a distance of six feet. A goose defecates an average of once every twelve minutes. In contrast, sloths go only about once a week. I hope you, being quarter-Welsh, realise that poo is a quite British fixation!
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I plead guilty on both counts!
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I'm just wondering what you're passing! I'm pleased you're not leaving.
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Very cool topic. I been watching Yukon Gold and few more gold rush programs.. too funny today spunky hugsssssssss V Going to have to pass on this one!
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My prospector dance is shit!
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Just remember, you're the one who brought it up..... [image]
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I think you've finally lost it!!!
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Happy Friday!
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You are welcome to my nuggets... This is very entrepreneurial of you S. Send me fifteen dozen bags a year, I'm only giving you half my yield as I'm in business for myself. I'm not buying into anyone else's franchise as I already have my own... Good shit!
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No shit Sherlock! A couple are tying to save money on their water bills by not flushing their toilet so often. After a few days, the woman says, "We're going to have to go back to Flushing the toilet, you know. The smell's getting really bad." "You're right says the man, "And pressing the toilet seat all the way down is getting harder and harder." My toilet seat is getting difficult to push down as well!
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It still seems like a crappy deal to me. Happy HNW. Jewelry on HNW The New Food Pyramid Courtesy of Mom They Don't Like That in Heaven [post 3312759] My Private Blog – Tell me All your Secrets
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Aah! I was hoping that you'd be my business partner on this one!
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Now you've found the post, I hope your life has suddenly taken an upturn!
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TOOO FUCKING FUNNY DUDE
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There's more to do for you, in the energy field. As a human being fart round to 5 liters a day, you ought to extract methane from it. As for your questions, I'll quote Amy Winehouse : no ! no !! no !!! and go drink a quart of Jack Daniel's.
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I am more than happy to send my poo to the suggested address. It's only fair they get some crap back!
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S, I said fifteen dozen... That's 180 bags a year... I imagine they are about the size of a kitchen bin bag. I could fill 360 of them per year.
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Um . . . ew . . . 
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Um . . . ew . . .
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I hope you're interested in entering into business with me! Thanks for stopping by.
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