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| Blogs > 1of2dorks > My secret monster |
It is one of those nights
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It is one of those nights My head feels almost as heavy as my heart does some days. I feel like there is something needing to be said, but like almost every day, I know it will not be said aloud. just written here. First, before I get started, I had two moments of weakness. I drank a bit, and I listened to those sad songs tonight. Hey, it is the middle of freakin' winter. We all need to do it sometimes. this is one of the best for me  Besides, tomorrow I will get up, go to work, and regret the day just like everyone else when it is over.But to tell the story, as you are already reading. . .. I started off by thinking how much I hate seeing some one else get drunk. one person in specific, but I figure everyone out there has one way or the other run into this person in life. You love them till they finish the first bottle. then you wish they would pass out. This leads me to the second part of the story, the songs you hear that remind you of others. Rather than make up a new song, I went to look for one to fit the moment. Like I said, it was a moment of weakness. I ended up listening to Tim Wilson. And as I was watching a few of his recorded shows found out about this time last year he died. So coping with the moment of seeing some one near and dear to me hitting up the bottle, and then finding a favorite singer had died (albeit late to the story), I was a bit in a funk. To be honest I still am, but that is another story. I thought to come here and cheer up a bit, but I know the chat rooms are not the place for me to sort this out. Though I probably would be smiling after visiting one or two. I am just not in the right frame of mind to go there. So when did I crack open a cold one? bout an hour or two ago. I realized renting beer is just not economical. But then again every time I have one I always remember. just a sip or two before the end of the bottle. tonight it was after it was empty. good thing I don't keep extras. So along the way I was thinking how much I would dearly love to talk to some people, and then realized several of the ones I would talk to won't be able to answer. They just won't until the next life. Yeah, like I said, it has been one of those nights. So now with this bit out there to be seen, I am going to wander away and crawl under the covers. And if I sleep, I honestly hope I don't dream, as that hasn't been going well lately either. On a brighter note, tomorrow is another day. And hopefully it will be better. |
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