590 posts 3/16/2017 9:13 am
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gotterdammerung
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If there's anything that you want
If there's anything I can do
Just call on me and I'll send it along
With love, from me to you
I've got everything that you want
Like a heart that's oh so true
Just call on me and I'll send it along
With love, from me to you
I've got arms that long to hold you
And keep you by my side
I've got lips that long to kiss you
And keep you satisfied (oh)
If there's anything that you want
If there's anything I can do
Just call on me and I'll send it along
With love, from me to you
From me
To you
Just call on me and I'll send it along
With love, from me to you
I've got arms that long to hold you
And keep you by my side
I've got lips that long to kiss you
And keep you satisfied (oh)
If there's anything that you want
If there's anything I can do
Just call on me and I'll send it along
With love, from me to you
To you
To you
To you
Göt·ter·däm·mer·ung.
[ˌɡädərˈdaməro͝oNG]
DEFINITION
(in Germanic mythology) the downfall of the gods.
What I want to talk about is why I'm such an idiot letting myself be taken in by a young sexy user! LOL! Well, here is the latest in this ridiculous sad drama I let myself get drawn into. First of all, I'm not stupid and I do know better, but because shes so attractive, she causes my emotions to supersede my logic and I end up paying the price by having my feelings battered!  Aren't there supposed to be laws against battery or something? Shouldn't I go down town and report it to someone. " What's the problem "? She keeps asking me for stuff and I keep giving it to her, then she treats me like shit!" Why don't you just refuse her ?" I would, but she's young, has green eyes. long blonde hair and a hot sexy ass! No man has the strength to resist that, I'll tell you what! 
Well, she came back and we started seeing each other again. We hang out all day, I take her to lunch, we go places and sometimes she comes back to my place for dinner! I'll usually make something and she sets up the living room with candles and stuff and we watch a dvd together. Sounds nice doesn't it? But, were not a couple in the traditional sense. We don't have any physical interaction between us. That's kind of mutual. She doesn't seem really interested, but if I pressed her on it she might relent. But I don't really want to take things to that level, because it will only strengthen her hold on me and make an even bigger fool and asshole out of me than she's doing now already. To describe how it really is or feels, we're together, but were not. Outwardly, it looks like we're a couple, but between us were just friends or more accurately, acquaintances. Presently, we're not seeing each other, because I cut things off with her again! She's still trying to keep me in her social circle though. She called me up and then says it was by mistake and then says " fuck you '! You know, typical couple stuff. But here is the problem for why we're not getting along and why it will never work even if she wasn't trying to be a user bitch all the time. She's a Leo!  I don't care if you believe in astrology of not, but every goddamn fucking Leo I've ever known it's the same damn shit! I actually told her, I've been through this before with another Leo, he was just a friend but it was a horrible experience I'm still dealing with the effects from to this day. In this case as that one, they both have this same sort of mind set or behavior and thinking. Besides being manipulative and controlling they both say and do cruel and mean things, and are totally oblivious to it. Unless you do or say the same thing back to them! Then its, "How could you be so insensitive and mean "? I even have the responses to me calling them on their bullshit in writing! With him it's a letter and hers is a text. They both reacted the same way, that's how obvious their behavior patterns and thinking is with them. I'll tell you the two things she did and finally broke it with me. First, I invited her to see a show with me, and she stood me up. That in and of itself, should have been a deal breaker. But, no, like an idiot, I go back to her and then she tells me this, " I met this cool guy and I'm thinking of asking him out, I want to start getting sexual again "! Now, before you say it. NO, she was not saying it to try to make me jealous to motivate me to get with her first. She was saying it like she was talking to one of her girlfriends about some guy she wants to date. When she said it, I felt like she just stuck a knife in my heart.  I was so incensed I almost threw her out of the car, without stopping or slowing down!  Then later she actually says this to me. First I'm not making this up, and I still can't believe she said this to my face. She says "I wish you were gay "!  While this was going on, I was in the midst of buying a new bike for her. This was the situation. I have my cool mountain bike sitting in my living room of my house. I keep it there because since I've had fixed up, I don't want it getting shitted up again from being out in the shed. So, when she comes over, she sees it there and I guess she decided she wants one just like it. So, she actually owns several bicycles already. She has one sitting out on the porch of her house. I asked her if she wanted me to have it fixed up for her. She says, no, I don't like the handle bars or the tires. So I was taking her to get a new one when she says that shit to me about wanting to date another guy and wished I was gay. So what do you think I did? You're right, I bought her the bike she wanted because I'm an idiot and an asshole. And prior to her standing me up for the show. It was valentines day, so I bought her one of those cards that you press a button and it plays a song. I sent her flowers through FTD with a teddy bear and I gave her a heart shaped pendant necklace with a diamond in it. And then she stood me up for a show, like the next day. So, after I got her the bike, we spent the rest of the day together, and it was more of everything she wanted to do, and nothing I wanted. Like for instance, I wanted to stop at my place for dinner that night and she said " no "! She made me take her to Arby's and buy her dinner at the drive through window that she then consumed at home alone. After all, who the fuck am I except some asshole she just uses to buy her shit, right? After all of this, I finally woke up or realized what was going on. I don't know why it took so long, maybe I'm retarded or in love? So, when I dropped her off, I usually walk her to her door. She lives out in the woods, so there might be bears or something. And gives me a hug. This time I didn't move. She tried to hug me but I was unresponsive. So she says, " what did I do "? Like really, you don't even realize what you said to me? I didn't respond. She sent me a text thanking me for everything I gave her that day. But the next day, I figured it was going to be more of the same, and the day after that, and the day after that. I wouldn't have been surprised if wanted me to drive her and her new boyfriend on their date and pay for it too! Yeah, she doesn't have a car and either does he apparently! So, the next day, just like I figured, she calls me up first thing in the morning and wants me to take her some place. I told her " no " and hung up on her. She tried to call and text me of course but I ignored her. Then I sent her a nasty text telling her what I thought about her and her behavior. It was mean, but everything I said was the truth. And then she replies, telling me that "I'M" bipolar! So that's where were at. And no, I'm not going to relent or give in to her again. Unless she dramatically changes her behavior and attitude, I can't associate with her any longer. Of course, she likes and has gotten used to how I accommodate and spoil her all the time. So, she's not just going to roll over and forget about me. In case you're thinking, she can find someone else to do for her what I did? She can't! If she could she would have and wouldn't been hanging around me. The guys she knows may be younger and cooler, but they don't have the resources I do, and even if they did, they wouldn't share them with her. That's her predicament and situation. So, I'll be interested myself to see what she tries to come up with. I know she's going to try to keep running the same game on me, but there will come a point when she realizes it's not working. Then she'll probably give up and go back to what ever her life was like before she met me. And that's the name of that tune.
When you know she's no high climber then you find your only friend
In a room with your two timer, and you're sure you're near the end
Then you love a little wild one, and she brings you only sorrow
All the time you know she's smilin' you'll be on your knees tomorrow, yeah
You go back, Jack, do it again, wheel turinin' 'round and 'round
You go back, Jack, do it again
Well, here's the latest, yeah I went back with her. We hung out for a while then she pissed me off again and now were on the outs. Although she did call me today because she needed a ride. In my defense, she is young and hot and I am only human. I know better but she fools me into thinking everything is fine, when it clearly is not, and I always fall for it. But this time, it's a little bet more serious. Her boyfriend texted me last night from her phone. He wanted to know precisely what our relationship currently is with one another. I called her number and he picked up, he's a Spanish dude. I quickly hung up the phone. Now here are the facts relating to this situation. I was thinking today, " now I know what it would have been like, if I had gotten into a relationship with Erica at one time. This girl is a lot like Erica, besides they both have green eyes, she's close in age to what Erica was when I first met her here online. She's also very head strong and won't listen or do anything I tell her. She also has a few other things in common with her, I don't want to mention because I don't want to get into all that bullshit! Anyway, she's sitting right next to me, and I still can't get through to her, how would that have worked being on opposite coasts? Well, at least I was saved from that pain and suffering. Anyway, when she called me this morning to ask for the ride, I told her " Alex had texted me ". She replies, " so, text him back '! Once again totally oblivious to the reality of the situation. She doesn't mind if I get taken out by some drug dealing spic G who's trying to defend his girlfriends "honor"! Oh, I'm over reacting? Well, this just happened to a friend of mine, and not in 1982, it happened last week. He's Spanish too, and he was in this situation where he encountered this other Spanish couple. There was a woman, he says was " kinda hot " and her asshole boyfriend who was holding their young . The woman asked him a couple of questions and then all a sudden, the asshole started attacking him, no warning or anything. He kicked him and tried to bite him........while...........still holding their in his arms! I guess he figured he wouldn't hit him back that way. Anyway, he still fucked him up pretty good. He had to go to the hospital and missed a few days of work. See, that's how those fucking animals are!  So even though the princess isn't concerned about her, ahem, "boyfriend" contacting me, I'll be taking steps to protect myself. First, she's not hanging with me anymore. I don't need to be the victim of a drive by. Next, I should probably buy a gun.  Don't worry, I don't think it's illegal to shoot one of those mother fuckers, or not since DT has been sitting in the chair. Didn't he sign a decree saying all white people can have open season on minorities?  Well, if he didn't he soon will, I'm sure.
Anyhoo, speaking of degenerate scum fucks, guess who popped up from the lower depths of hell? My Ex! Yeah, I was surprised as shit from shinola! I was surfing around on line, and guess what I saw? She has a teacher profile, with her actual picture on it, on her schools website. In case you're wondering why that's so significant? Ever since our divorce, she's kept an extremely low profile on line. No websites, facebook, twitter, nothing. There's a reason for that, and it's this. When we broke up, there was a lot of acrimony and ill will associated with the parting. For her, image is everything. And I implied...........okay I told her I was going to make sure everyone knew what she did someday if it was the last thing I do! And, unlike you, she actually knows me, and she knows I meant it. What so significant about the information? Well, she could lose her job for one thing. She signed a morals clause. I don't know how they would feel if it was publically known that one of their teachers attempted to murder her first husband and profit from it. At least I don't think that's good publicity? She'd also be shunned publically by all of her peers. She was working at another school when all the shit went down with me. The people that surround her now probably have no clue about her past. As for her page? It's the same bullshit about all of the places she's travelled to. She was a world traveler before she met me and she continued it the whole time we were together. I was a Rock Star at the time. Go to my you tube page "badnews008 " and check out the video " Rock God " if you want to see what we did during that period. One of the places she brags about, and yes, she loves to fucking " brag " about this shit. She mentioned she visited Turkey. Good, she's hanging out in the Mideast these days, I hope she gets kidnapped and beheaded!  But what us more likely is she'll become their new leader! As soon as they talk to her they'll realize she possesses the qualities they're looking for. I know what you're thinking, she's a woman. Hey, she's tougher then most men, trust me on this one.  I always used to say she's the her father never had. Anyway, when ever she pops up like this, I always get a premonition through a dream. I did get a mild one. She did pop up briefly in a dream I had prior to discovering her shit page. So, why is she letting her guard down now after all this time? I guess she feels enough time as gone by and I'm probably not holding a grudge? Boy, that psyche I saw really was correct when she told me," my wife didn't understand me"! Yes, I am still holding a fucking grudge and there will be hell to pay!  I'll have to sort it out. Maybe she can get kidnapped by the Taliban and they'll make her wear a burka and her Arab husband will fuck through a hole in a sheet every night. Oh, she'll love that! 
See, there is something to live for after all!
Addendum
Well, this situation keeps getting stranger and stranger! Here is the latest. As for me and the princess, we're still together but were not. This spic douche bad she's with seems to be just that. She still insists on staying with him, even though there is no logical reason, even by her illogical standards.  From what I'm told, he lives with his family, has no job, collects a government check of about eight hundred dollars a month, oh, and he deals drugs on the side. Yeah, I can't figure why she would want to give that up either? But she's still trying to keep me in her social circle. I think you can figure out why! How usually goes is, we fight and argue and say we're not speaking to one another again. The last time she told me she's deleting my phone number. Then the next day, she'll call me for a ride, I'll say okay and go pick her up and were together again like nothing ever happened. I can't figure out how this keeps happening? I know what you're thinking, why don't I just ignore her? Well, she called me for a ride, she was at her grand mothers house, which happens to be a few doors down from my house. So, I really couldn't say no. See how she does this shit. But, not everything is kosher in paradise!  Here is where things get interesting! We have mutual friends in the form of this couple. He's like a rough street dude and she's a little cutie. We'll call them B&J B is the guy and J the girl. Well I run into them once in a while and B is friends with the princesses spic drug dealer boyfriend. And they told me of an encounter they had with them recently. B&J remarked that they wanted to get something to eat, so the spic drug dealer friend offered to buy them dinner or something. I don't know exactly what was said, but I understand the princess made some cutting remark to her paramour, probably something along the lines of, " you don't have the money " or something like that. And he got so upset he told her to walk away or he was going to hit her. Now, for me, she says shit like that to me all the time, but it doesn't bother me because I'm cool as fuck and she knows it. But this guy isn't, and embarrassing him in front of his friends by implying he's a broke ass loser (which he is) is definitely not cool. And she could have gotten slugged too! LOL!  So, when B&J told me about this episode, I took it in context and realized what the situation was. It's only a matter of time until she comes running back to me, telling me how abusive he's been to her. When we were together for the ride she was talking about getting her own apartment. I told her I'd rent her a room in my house. She said, " all you're rooms are full of your guitars "! Which they are, but I was thinking she could sleep on the couch or something. But anyway! I didn't think anything about this encounter with B&J until two days ago, J, the little cutie, calls me up for a ride. I pick her up and she has bags of her stuff. Apparently she and B broke up and she's moving back with her parents. While were riding together, she tells me how dismayed she is about the way the princess treats me and how she would " take better care of me"! I thought that was a nice sentiment, but didn't really give it much thought. Then she keeps going on and on about stuff. The next thing I know, she makes me pull over under a bridge and she's blowing me! Yeah, I still can't believe it myself. It was like something you see in a porno movie! She tells me how handsome she thinks I am and she's sucking my dick! I asked her if this was okay, because I didn't want her boyfriend to come after me. She insisted he'll never know. Now first of all, she's not a girl, she's more like a mature young woman! All the time I was talking to her, I never suspected she was like this, or would act like this. Not that there was anything wrong with it. It's just that with her personality and demeanor I totally was not expecting it. It kind of threw me for a loop. I'm looking down at her head bobbing up and down on my dick and I can't believe it! Not that I haven't had blow jobs from women like her before, but I guess I just wasn't thinking anything like this would happen between her and I, that's all. I wanted to fuck her, but because we were in the car loaded with all of her stuff we didn't have much room. So I just had her pull her jeans down and I ate her ass out. And let me tell you, I got a second shock. Her ass tasted good!  I've eaten lots of girls asses before, but none of them ever tasted this good. It was one of those things, where it tasted as good as it looks!  As if that wasn't enough. I then asked her if she did anal? She replied that she did! So, the next time we get together she's going to let me fuck her in the ass too! I know, it sounds like I'm making this shit up, doesn't it? Well, after things calmed down a bit, we talked and she kept winding her fingers around me and saying all these nice things about how much she liked me. I'm not adverse to any of it, but I am concerned about her boyfriend. I doubt they will be separated for long. She doesn't seem like the type that will say anything. But then, I didn't expect her to start devouring me like that either? So, we'll see I guess. Well, anyway, the princess called me up for that ride later that day. While she was sitting there in the same spot where J was, made me think of the contrast between the two. She's pretty smart with her woman's intuition thing. So, she says, " what's the matter with you "? I replied, " I had an interesting day "! LOL! Then before she got out of the car I said to her," you know something, I realized I prefer the company of a woman, to that of a little girl ". She just looked at me like I'm nuts and walks away. Well, that's the status of things. We'll see where they go from here, I guess?
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