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Lust, Amorousness, And Evolution
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Lust, Amorousness, And Evolution When I was young I thought sex was what boys want from girls and romance was what girls want from boys.From my male perspective I thought I had to give amorousness to get sex..And I imagined that girls gave sex to get love from us. It wasn't all that successful a strategy. Silly me. Back in the 50s and 60s it was easy for a young mind to get the idea that's what "the battle of the sexes" was all about. (Funny how we so often use "sex" when we mean gender. It wasn't a battle over sex. It was a "war" defined by gender. Both sides wanted sex. The "battle" was simply over the terms of engagement. Both sides were equally eager for surrender...) But back on topic. It Gets Better My perspective changed quickly with experience. How much better the sex was when it arose from real caring and friendship than from lust alone! And how much more she always liked it when I thought about her pleasure as much as my own. Looking back it's the girls and women I had real friendship with that I remember the most, that I sometimes think "I wonder what ever happened to..." about. Much more than the ones I just "loved" to have sex with. It's when sex becomes an expression of that bigger thing, that touching and embracing each other's self that the evolution of one's sexuality is finally complete.  There Are Risks But that does introduce a new element of risk. Not everyone can handle that. I can certainly understand how that risk leads some to reject amorousness and seek commitment free sex. It stings much more when love is rejected than when mere lust is. The emotional stakes are higher. Your dreams can't be broken if you keep them hidden away and never share them. But can they ever come true if they are never set free? To paraphrase, "tis better be have been amorous and lost than never to have been amorous at all."  En-Joy! En-Joy! |
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 I like this line... "touching and embracing each other's self" 
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I can see how your post applies to me. When I was younger, I had sex with many different partners (serial monogamy) and had a lot of fun. Then I met my ex. For me, he was the one. I had my fill of running around, he was my soul-mate, I thought. Then as the years ground on, I had to accommodate those feelings towards reality- he was about as ideal as I could want, but he was changing into someone I had not anticipated being with (think -grumpy). When we split, it made me tentative, because while it was to my advantage that we split, it was not my idea originally. So yes, I am wary of the hurt that happens when you deepen a sexual connection. Good post on this subject. Kitkat The observant make the best lovers, I may not do right, but I do write, I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life, Kitkat Come check out my blog KItkat1415 check out this post by me Adventures In Body Grooming #39 April Topic Link: What Lies Beneath If April Showers Oh Bloody Hell What Kind Of Weather Turns Me On Bloggers Symposium 40
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Part of growing up is shedding all the preconceptions about how people who aren't us think about sex. A lot of those preconceptions are geared toward trying to convince us that one or another individual isn't supposed to actually, y'know, enjoy sex... Thankfully, the more aware of us grow out of that. Good post! Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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