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Dating Your Own Species
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Dating Your Own Species  Have you ever tried to date someone who had a wildly different belief system from yours? Arguing about politics or religion can destroy a relationship. Heck, even arguing about whether to take a vacation skiing or on a tropical island can do it. When that happened, my wife and I decided to take separate vacations and I swear it saved our marriage. But in no aspect of the relationship is it more important that you agree than in how you view "fidelity." If you are strictly monogamous, you're asking for trouble dating a polyamorous person. If you're monogamous but sexually open though not polyamorous, a sexually closed partner, or even a poly partner, can be calamitous. If you're poly, how do you structure your relationship? With a hierarchy, so that your partner is your primary and has some extra say in who you date? Or towards relationship anarchy where no one has control over your practices - though they may want to leave if you start dating a serial killer. When I was partnered in marriage, and then in a committed partnership after that, my partners insisted on primary status. Each insisted on the final say about who I could date, and how - how much time, what kind of activities, and how much money I could spend. Looking back at those times, I was never happy with the sense of primacy - that my primary partner was somehow more than or better than my other lovers. I never wanted my other lovers to feel less than. I always believed that each expression of love was unique and perfect, always evolving, and even though I'm prone to make comparisons, I strive for equanimity. Right now I have several lovers, most of whom are declared poly. Each understands that I try not to favor one over the other, and no one has the right to dictate my behavior. Though all of them seem to have suggestions for my well being! Some of these lovers I only see once a month at best, due to distance, but we speak regularly. I do have one lover who's not sure if she is poly, and I find this by far the most difficult of the relationships, because I'm never sure if she's with me or deciding to go back to monogamy. That's an example of dating outside of my species - and it's definitely more challenging. So what is your species? Elephant? Pig? Something else? Have you had good luck dating outside of it? |
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Smoke, Good thought provoking post. I would hazard to guess that most of us on LesbianPersonals seem to not fall into a "normal" category. I think I am open. I'm not sure if I will ever go completely back to monogamy, but I am pretty sure that being polyamorous is not the easy way out, either. Kk The observant make the best lovers, I may not do right, but I do write, I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life, Kitkat Come check out my blog KItkat1415 check out this post by me Adventures In Body Grooming #39 April Topic Link: What Lies Beneath If April Showers Oh Bloody Hell What Kind Of Weather Turns Me On Bloggers Symposium 40
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Since I'm the only one of my species on this planet, this is a moot question  haha
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Interesting post.  I've not really dated outside my species, though I find if our politics aren't compatible the relationship is likely to struggle. 
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very interesting post hugs V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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