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Blogs > ScorpioNOV1972 > Personal Love Advisor

It's not even Thanksgiving, but I'm stuffed!  

ScorpioNOV1972 51M
47 posts
11/15/2014 4:49 pm
It's not even Thanksgiving, but I'm stuffed!

I love turkey! Oven roasted, deep fried, smoked and even a new crave for me is garbage can turkey ( it's legit, google it. ). For a lot of us though, Thanksgiving is a tradition for eating too much and passing out on the couch or lazy boy. Taking that afternoon nap or watching the football game on TV.

This Thanksgiving, is going to be a little different for me. I'll be on my own, catching up in real life events such as school and work. So while my literal plate of food may end up being a Swanson microwavable meal. I do have the unfortunate realization of where I am in my life.

I have too much on my plate.

Anyone else here living a fantasy life online? Viewing profiles of people who live on the other side of the planet or country. Not even contemplating on how you would ever meet them? Am I the only one falling down this online dating trap?

Don't get me wrong, I see some really interesting people here. A lot of people in the same situation as me in life. Searching for something more. Is this an acceptable approach to dating? How many of us are actually willing to relocate to be with someone that we fancy? How many of us even have the time or money? I mean, I am literally stuck where I'm at for at least 2 more years until I finish school.

Ya, it's easy to have a crush on someone. Watch it develop into a cute long distance relationship. It's fun to talk about all the things we'd like to do to one another once we meet. Then reality sets in. There is just no way it's going to happen because of the time between possible visits.

So now, I have to make a decision. Stop pretending and just keep blogging like nothing will ever happen for another 2 years or set myself up for what could possibly be the greatest amount of failed relationships in a 2 year period. Unless of course, long distance relationships actually work.

Anyone have a long distance relationship work? If so, how did you make it work? Anyone ever relocate to be with someone and lived happily ever after? Let me hear your success stories.

As for me, my only success story was the first woman I ever truly loved. I was in the Air Force back in the early 90's and we lived 700 miles apart and I would drive home every other weekend for a year just to be with her. Best relationship I ever had and worth every hour on the road.
One on one consult - For all your love and relationship needs.
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rm_fit4ufor3rd 60M/63F
678 posts
11/15/2014 6:19 pm

 I will only play with local men and im not looking for a relationship at all. but realistically closer is better.


ScorpioNOV1972 replies on 11/15/2014 6:30 pm:
I think couples looking for a third or fourth wheel are in a different category than single people. You already have someone in your life, so it's not like you are SOL in that department.

Yes, logistics play a huge roll in online dating. I'm just trying to figure out what's more important for a healthy relationship. Someone local or perhaps someone who is a better match.

Lokin4Company2 53M
112 posts
11/15/2014 5:36 pm

 "Long distance" relationships didn't originate from online dating. Being online just gives us many more ways to stay in contact with people around the world. Like both of you, I'm involved in conversations with women from all over the states and overseas.

In regards to long distance, I've only been involved in "intimate" conversations with two women that are more than 5 hours away. Only one of which I'm talking to now. I anticipate that I will see her someday soon because I know it's feasible.

Personally, I'm not sure if I could start and intimate relationship with someone if I know our meeting would never be feasible. That does not mean I wouldn't enjoy the friendship. I just don't think I would allow myself to "crush" or get emotionally involved.

Of course, it's easy for me to "say" how I think I would act, prior to ever being in that situation.
The "Gentleman"


ScorpioNOV1972 replies on 11/15/2014 5:47 pm:
Consider yourself one of the coolest men on this site. I think we're a dying breed and your signature fits you perfectly. I think any woman would be lucky to have you. So hopefully one of your current possibilities becomes a success. Thanks for the sharing your personal thoughts and cheers mate!

sweetlips_03 45F
1271 posts
11/15/2014 5:24 pm

 I'm right there with you. If I'm not on here, then I'm dealing with my responsibilities and priorities. I'm spending too much time on here, and I'm venting as well. For now, it's helping. I've never contemplated a long distance relationship, I need contact. I need more. I want what I want, and if I can't have it, I leave it be.

But do what feels right, as long as it feels right. Enjoy the good while it feels good. If somehow you've found a way to make things a little more interesting while you do what you need to do, then why cheat yourself out of it. Go for it.
Sweet Kisses
sweetlips_03


ScorpioNOV1972 replies on 11/15/2014 7:31 pm:
So you understand where I'm coming from and even relate to it. I have no problems pursuing something, but if the receiving party isn't interested, what is the point? So, perhaps for the next 2 years, I'll focus on finishing what I need to do so I am in a better position to pursue. It's going to be a long two years, that's for sure.

demonicsexkitten 48F
10694 posts
11/15/2014 5:20 pm

 I know a few couples who met on this site. I think at least one relocated and they got married. I believe they left the site though (I'm FB friends with them). Then my situation... we were crushing on eachother, he drove here on vacation, we clicked... he flew me back to visit his family and see where he was from. Then he got a job in my city and moved in. 800 miles. Of course it only lasted 2 yrs (then FWB for 6 more after that).

I really don't know "the right answer". Sometimes Long Distance works till time brings you together. Sometimes it doesn't.

There are a few men on this site that I love. While we mutually lust after one another, we're too far and both too poor to manage the meeting in real, but we talk all the time and are there for one another through thick and thin. Lasting bonds are made even if no in person connection. I do anticipate meeting most of them as time and finances permit.

Relocating? As one former lover stated "It all depends who has the better paying job". I'm sure other things matter too.

Personally: there's no way in hell I'm quitting my job, giving my cat to the pound or anybody else, throwing all my stuff into perpetual storage or selling it to move to another country to marry a man I've never or barely met in person. Yes: that argument has come up in my life. Sad to say: but my cat holds a higher place in my life than some man I've never met. She's been in my life for 9 years. She's not "just a cat, you can get a new one".

Now if I met somebody more reasonable, same country, etc and we totally clicked... it would take work to figure out the details of combining households. But I see no problem relocating, within reason. But again it requires both parties meeting on home turf, time spent together, building the relationship and working out details.

Um... that's my quarters worth.


ScorpioNOV1972 replies on 11/15/2014 5:33 pm:
I completely understand keeping things local. It makes sense, financially and logistically. However, I look at some profiles and come across someone who would be a perfect match, aside from the fact they live a couple thousand miles away. It's almost like online dating sites are a mind fuck to your personal life. Meet someone who is a 70-80% match locally or take a gamble on someone who's a 90-95% match across the globe.

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