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Part 5: Bend-Over. I'll drive.
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Part 5: Bend-Over. I'll drive. Don't worry! I'm getting to the part of my adventures in Bend, Oregon, about the most AWESOME first-time sex EVER soon! For previous segments on my craigslist-fueled adventures, see Part 1 quotBendOver I39ll drivequot, Part 2 BendOver I39ll drive, Part 3 BendOver I'll drive) and Part 4 BendOver I39ll drive . The next day I drove with my sister Brenda two hours north to the tiny town of Maupin, OR, to go on a river rafting trip with her and her two young sons. She's delightful. Her sons, ages seven and 10, are holy terrors. It was two hours of drive time each way and three hours of rafting listening to "When are we gonna go to McDonald's?" in between spitting at one another, screaming and complaining about how they didn't want to be there. Apparently, Brenda bribed them for "good behavior" with a trip to McDonald's at the end as they're excited about collecting the free plastic from China Skylander action figures. I have no issue with bribes in general except that, in this case, their impatience to get to the reward meant they did not enjoy the river rafting experience. They were "Punished by Rewards," which is a great book by Alfie Kohn. Anyway, Sam, who had been the hero to pick me up at the airport (in a scary abduction van!) after I'd arrived and gave me my first tour around Bend (without ever talking about sex) had suggested by text that I invite Brenda to join me and him for curried veggies with chicken which he'd prepared. When I asked if I could invite her two holy terrors, he disappeared from communication. I had dinner with Brenda and her husband and stayed with them. Since I'd decided to stay over another couple of days, I decided to take a leap and suggest that I'd like to stay with Sam. I said it could be with or without sex since I knew he probably had an extra bedroom and I had no idea if he'd like to have sex with me or not. I said I was interested after we had a safer sex talk. Bright and early the next morning, Sam texted, "Want to come over and have some sex this morning?" Yippee! I was all in...until I learned that the older holy terror was at home. I didn't feel I could leave a 10-year-old alone so I waited for my sister to get back from her early morning work. When she got back at noon, she was starving so we went to lunch with Older Holy Terror. I texted to delay, delay, delay meeting Sam, who seemed to take it in stride. I mean, can ya really blame me for being a responsible adult who doesn't want to leave a alone? Apparently, Sam didn't blame me. Or he'd already waited long enough for sex that a few more hours didn't make that much difference. In the meantime, I was texting with Tim the Older (as opposed to Tim the Younger whom I'd met at the concert at the park and enjoyed a four-hour conversation). Tim the Older was supposed to meet me for coffee on Sunday but was a newbie to Bend and went to the wrong coffee shop. After that he texted about sex and whether I wanted NSA. I said, "Maybe." He offered to lick my pussy. I mentally yawned* and asked about his fucking stamina. "Yes, I'll get your pussy sore. I take Viagra. Last a long time! Want to see?" * Men have learned that the offer of "I'll lick your pussy for hours" is currently the more politically correct version of "Wanna fuck?" But I find most men lack the skill to make it fun for me. In addition, I find it much more intimate and more vulnerable than fucking. So I usually decline until I trust him down there in my delicate lady parts with his teeth! I replied, "Maybe" and asked what activity he had in mind for getting acquainted, besides sex. He suggested hiking in the morning. Then he didn't get in touch until I texted him at 11 am. He said, "How about the afternoon?" I said, "Fine." Finally, I texted him when I was headed to the river about four pm to float on an inner tube. Since Tim the Older was worried about not finding me, we agreed we could meet afterward for a beer. While floating down the river, I gave him 30 minutes notice, as promised but added I didn't have long as I had a dinner date. He decided I was rude and wrote, "Your lose. Hope the guy your meeting is a loser, you deserve it!! And FUCK you!!" I replied mildly, "This from the guy who suggested hiking this morning?!?" Then, I blocked his phone and went to shower. Tm the Older's assumption that a beer leads to sex is the kind of attitude that shuts me off: "I buy you a drink (or dinner) and you put out." It's rare that my desire switch gets turned on by 45 minutes of chat and a beer. Often in this situation, if I decide to have sex, it's really just another level of audition about whether I expect the sex will be fun in the future with someone with whom I'm likely to see in the future. However, by now, I feared I might lose my "slut cred" among my gal pals as I'd met four guys without having sex with any of them. But I was pretty sure the switch would be "ON" with Sam. While I was floating on the river and text with Tim the Older, I was also texting with Sam about plans to meet for dinner. To help me out and get me moving, he came and picked me up with the float and hauled me back up the river so I could float down once more rather than waiting for the shuttle. Sam said it takes only five or 10 minutes to get just about anywhere in Bend. Being a sexually-responsible girl, I brought my toothbrush, condoms and coconut oil (my preferred lube) to dinner with Sam. As we chatted companionably at his house, I drank a couple beers while Sam did not. Though he is a a beer-o-phile, he's given it up to be gluten- and pain-free. Then I had a glass of wine with the salad, curried veggies with chicken and rice. Then we smoked some pot out on the patio and kept talking as it got cooler and we moved indoors to talk while stretched out on the leather couch. Finally, I brought the conversation around to sex. We kissed a little, talked some more, talked about safer sex, our sexual histories and any STDs. Then, it was fucking TWO am! I said, "We need to go to sleep. Let's go to sleep. I like morning sex better anyway." He agreed and we did. He kindly kept the window open because I prefer cooler and he kept his shirt on as he prefers warmer. He's really great that way! Well, I truly thought I'd get to describing THE MOST AWESOME FIRST-TIME SEX (WITH A MAN) in this segment, but, for sure, hang onto your hats. It WILL be in the next one. I promise. {=}{=}{=} BiPolyBabe69 |
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This is great. I could see this adventure being the basis for a hilariously funny, cheezie straight to HBO movie. Bend-Over: The Movie. Could be right up there with Hot Dog; The Movie. I will be hanging on to my hat, waiting for the next episode of Bend Over. I'll Drive.
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