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| Blogs > bipolybabe69 > "..yes I said yes I will Yes." |
You May Get a Second Chance for a Second Impression...
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You May Get a Second Chance for a Second Impression... I've been dating so long (Egads, 16 years off and on since I separated and divorced from my ex-husband) that I've developed a quick intuitive sense of whether I'll click with someone or not. Because my search for a Primary Partner, someone available for emotional intimacy in a non-monogamous relationship, has proven challenging, I've stopped screening people out in order to see who shows up because they are attracted to the offer in my ads. That's how I decided to meet JayDee jarule89 who contacted me through this site. He had a few strikes against him: visiting but not local to Santa Barbara, grammar slips (not as sexy as nip slips, in my opinion) but some huge factors in his favor:  I own my delight in seeing my pink bits penetrated by black dick. A friend says it's my "Plantation Mistress" taking advantage of well, let's not go there. Whatever. I'm a racist. We live in a racist culture. And I like black dick. JayDee and I met briefly and walked near the beach, chatting easily and discovering we're both poly, familiar with the issues that come up when one is honest about non-monogamy and interested in the psychology of sex. JayDee was also horny as hell (a quality I value in a man), ready to get it on in the few minutes before he needed to report to work at Michael Jordan's basketball camp for , which was taking place at UCSB. But we couldn't find a private spot fast enough. As a slut who plans ahead, I was, of course, carrying my preferred Female Condoms and coconut oil lube...just in case. So we put a bookmark on it. That evening, I ignored my own rule about "I don't drive for sex" and drove over to fuck him in Student Housing near UCSB where he was housed. Since I'm a UCSB grad (Go Gauchos!), it was a bit deja vu. After smoking a little pot, we enjoyed a quick-to-the-point fuck that showed potential for future fun. My first impression of JayDee was good. I'm not big on serving as a late night booty call (Frankly, I prefer to do the calling, "I don't drive for sex" and he had no car). So JayDee and I planned to meet the first day he had some time off. He peeled off from hanging with his boys and we had some drinks and appetizers downtown and then I drove us to the home where I'm house-sitting in the foothills in Santa Barbara. Okay, so this leads us to my second experience with JayDee: 2 BBCs amp MeCross that one off the To summarize, I hesitantly agreed to an impromptu 4some, which was sometimes a 3some, with JayDee, one of his boys and my most adventurous gal pal Heather. It was NOT a good time had by all. Frankly, I was pretty frosted because I felt used as a place for two guys to get off. I was disappointed because I'd expected better from the easy rappoire of my first meeting and potential from the quickie with JayDee. First impression, good. Second impression, bad. I wrote a diatribe to my gal pals describing in great detail how the experience had failed to satisfy me. I thought about sending it to JayDee, but over the years, I've learned that no good comes of sending emails with emotional content. It's better to deliver the information at the right time in person or at least by phone. As a Sex Coach, I have learned that men listen better when they're horny, knocking on the pussy gates. When he sexted me (texted for the purposes of seeking sex), I suggested we talk by phone. I summarized the low points of my last experience with him and said I'd been surprised because I'd expected better of him. The amazing thing is, JayDee listened, agreed and said he could do MUCH better. I am here to testify that, OMG, YES, YES, YES, YES!!!! He could do MUCH, MUCH, MUCH better. He tuned in, slowed down, demonstrated finesse and a level of skill with fingers and mouth that I have rarely experienced. And then, OH MY FUCKING GOD, the fucking was OUT OF THIS WORLD. Just brief periods of Energizer Rabbit Fucking, broken up by long, slow, deep strokes, varied angles and, well, most everything a knowledgeable slut who loves to fuck might enjoy. But here's the most interesting take-away for me: I'm not a 30 to 40 year-old African-American man. Duh. I mean I don't know a damn thing about what life is like inside the skin of JayDee and his 'boys. I got a sense of it, talking with him the other night about what it was like for all these incredibly fit, high testosterone black men to be stuck week after week in our white bread backwater village where there are no clubs (to speak of) where they could go meet women. Add to that, their very real safety concerns, like when we were going to meet his friend "L" to hook up for the 4some. L did not park to wait for us at the bottom of the private road as I instructed. He moved a good distance away and parked on the major thoroughfare near a church. Duh. It NEVER occurred to me that a black man sitting alone in a car in a totally white, expensive neighborhood is just asking for trouble, as wickedeasy wrote about "DWB, Baby," (Driving While Black) in her post on 40 years agoand yesterday. My life experience is limited to my life experience. I'll never know (unless reincarnation exists) what it's like to be an African American man in America. But I could inquire about it and challenge my assumptions. My first impression was seconded by a positive third impression. Or was it a do-over of the second impression? Whatever. I learned that when the new info doesn't jive, inquire! {=}{=}{=} BiPolyBabe69 |
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Your observations are very astute Bi-Poly. One can only imagine what life is like for people from other cultures in our society. I am glad though you were able to have a repeat performance with him and that it turned out wonderful for the both of you. If that's his cock in the pic provided, it looks wonderful and I'm sure everything you desired to meet your needs. I hope you have more and more experiences with him and his friends. Let's hear it for open minded people and beautiful sexual experiences. Bud Always Ready for Fun.
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do be careful darling - if not for your sake for his You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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