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| Blogs > bipolybabe69 > "..yes I said yes I will Yes." |
Holidays...Sexually...Thumbs Up or Thumbs Down?
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Holidays...Sexually...Thumbs Up or Thumbs Down? I'm back for a quick check-in. I'm busy writing my book, "Be Your Husband's Lover: Seven Easy Steps to a Strong, Satisfying, Sexy Marriage," which draws together my experience as a woman, wife, lover, girlfriend, partner in crime, sexual sociologist, Pro Dominatrix and Sex Coach. Currently, I coach women, men and couples to love as powerfully (and as long) as they can make it work while growing. Anyway, back to today's question... What feelings do holidays, specifically Christmas, Winter Solstice, Chanukah and New Year's Eve bring up for you? How do they impact your sexual desire? I'm going to use Christmas as the word to encapsulate this winter solstice time because, as a Pagan/Buddhist/Chanukah/Kwanzaa-observing Christian (which means I come from a Christian tradition, grew up outside organized religion and appreciate other traditions), I see that human beings share a desire to acknowledge love, birth, death and renewal. Based on my superficial study, all of those traditions celebrate Winter Solstice. (I don't know anything about Muslim traditions so feel free to chime in if there's something I need to know there.) So... Maybe you feel a bit overwhelmed, not meeting your own expectations for creating holiday wonder for those you love. Maybe, like me, you feel a bit lonely now. And horny. You wish someone wanted to create for you an extraordinary holiday experience. I remember my first Christmas with My FIRST REAL BOYFRIEND. (MY FIRST REAL BOYFRIEND = We said "I love you" even when when we weren't drunk. I was 21. He was 31.) It was our first Christmas and we weren't planning to spend it together. I planned to drive to Northern California to enjoy time with my family and he, southward, to spend time with his. He blindfolded me, drove me around in a disorienting maze and parked at a spot wI didn't recognize. Blindfold off, he led me to a darling cottage. In advance, he'd set up lit candles, roses in a vase and had a wrapped gift --with a signed card-- for me. When we left, hand in hand, the next day, I recognized Santa Barbara's El Encanto Hotel, one of the most beautiful spots in the world...and only half a mile from his home. Our time there was extraordinary because MY FIRST REAL BOYFRIEND exerted himself to delight me. I have many happy memories of our years together, but --as I scan through memories-- that was the LAST TIME he went out of his way to court me and win my love. I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't think I EVER did anything to make holidays special for him. When it came to Christmas forever afterward, each of us would race out to locally owned Earthling Books to buy a book we thought the other might like. And, in my case, one I also wanted to read. In short, I was pretty self-centered. I felt guilty for a long time for my failure as a wife, friend and lover. Now I've applied NuSkin. NuSkin = My word for when we peel off the past, feel the pain and guilt, recognize our vulnerability and plunge out into the beach, toasting our bodies and spirits in the delicious, potentially harmful, rays of love again. This time we apply a coat of sunscreen but we go ahead and strip ourselves naked again. I do not blame MY FIRST REAL BOYFRIEND for the fact that he's now my ex-husband. He and I loved one another for 17 years. We're now friendly, continuing to work together to do our best for our adored offspring as they mature into adulthood. He enjoys most holidays with them because "I just don't care about holidays." Or do I? At this time of year, like Scrooge, I dive into Christmas Past, view Christmas Now wonder about Christmas Future. I believe --as much as all of us desire hot sex and to feel fully alive-- we want even more to feel loved and connected to someone who knows and cares about our needs. So...am I wrong about that? What's up with you and holidays? BiPolyBabe69    |
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[I'm going to totally ignore your work question as inappropriate for the season  ]Your story brings back good memories. I used to stay at the El Encanto Inn all the time for work, because the company I was visiting was right around the corner. I still remember their wine & cheese hours, which could be optionally received in the hot tub. Folks claimed the bungalows used to be UCSB housing. If true, makes me very jealous of that college experience with the view they have from the hills of Santa Barbara. Hope Santa is extra good to you (and all the other naughty girls out there)!
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First of all, it's good to see you even if it's a brief fly through. Sounds like you are on the treadmill of life. It does feel good to jump off once in a while and this time of the year, at least for me offers that opportunity. I sometimes reflect on those Christmas's past. Some are warming ant others can be forgettable in some respects. This time of the year does give us a reason to gather family, friends and make new ones just to enjoy a laugh, good food and company. We humans do enjoy company from time to time and the need to be touched. I hope you have, had a wonderful day and good luck completing your book. That is exciting. Bud Always Ready for Fun.
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Very well thought out post, the holidays always stir different feelings for different people. I just enjoyed reading your account of your first real boyfriend, those tokens of appreciation and showing how much someone cares is what makes the holidays special. Best wishes for fantastic holidays for you and your family.
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skipping them this year and looking forward. it's only fun when you are surrounded by the ones you love. hey......good luck with the book You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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Simply beautiful!Looking forward to being your friend.
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I love how you have grown in poly thought and deeds from first boyfriend to now. Coming from Christianity likewise I value all spiritual teachings and people who touch our lives and bless us. I'm a member of the Las Vegas Poly Community. Currently I do not have a female poly partner just one bi-male poly partner. Thank you for your poly positive blog. Life's a beach, William
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1/1/2021 5:57 pm |
Holidays are always tough when one is divorced with children, especially Christmas. In your earlier post you mentioned your first real BF at 21. A week after my 21st birthday I was married and about 6 weeks later I was a dad. That certainly was an interesting time in my life. IF things ever get back to normal, and CST opens back up with Sunday music/dancing, I will be on the lookout for those green boots and hopefully at least get a dance! And of course, it is possible that we already did a dance! I dance swing primarily.
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