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Blogs > Red_Elf > Rewriting My Life

Boundaries--I have them  

Red_Elf 51F
578 posts
6/29/2017 6:30 pm
Boundaries--I have them

As a woman with healthy boundaries who knows what she wants and knows how to get it, It never ceases to amaze me how thick headed some people can be when it comes to respecting the boundaries of others. Instead of listening when other people explain their boundaries, or even explain why, these tend to be healthy boundaries for people, in general, they are dead set and convincing the other person not to have them, or forcing their way around them.

It's true in real life, for certain. It takes place online even more.

What is this thing people have with violating the boundaries of others? Why do people feel so entirely entitled to the space and life energy of other people--even if they don't know them personally?

What kind of boundaries do you have?
MOST of the time I'm well behaved...but if you weren't, and, enjoyed having your ass handed to you, visit my blog and become a subscriber. There you can read all about how I am actively authoring, and rewriting, my life .

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TicklePlease 56F  
13851 posts
6/29/2017 8:05 pm

 Boundaries: it's somewhat fluid I suppose but they begin with language. When someone uses language that's dog-whistle-esque, I point out that my boundaries are such that I don't tolerate disguised hate (i.e. terms like "snowflake") If it happens again, I don't have any problem dismissing that person. I used to be different, full of second chances, but then I got tired of giving ninth chances with the tenth right on the horizon.


porterpiper1 57F
3755 posts
6/29/2017 11:44 pm

 some people know how to listen and others don't, I think we all sometimes try to push boundaries, Now if you tell someone your do and don't, and they tell you theirs, and yet they or you cross them, that is a person you should not deal with, we all get those people who try to convince us to change our mind,


Red_Elf replies on 6/30/2017 10:59 am:
I think I'm a lot more sensitive to this than others in relationships involving intimacy because I AM a people pleaser and I tend to date people pleasers. As such, it would be far too easy to take advantage of me in a relationship if someone isn't very respectful. I know this about myself, so that's probably why my boundaries on this are very unyielding. I am also extra careful not to tread on the boundaries of those I'm with because I am concerned about them feeling pushed or taken advantage of. Part of this also may be because I was with an Asian man for almost three years...cultural differences from his upbringing definitely influenced how he interacts with others.

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