Derby Madness?
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Posted:Sep 1, 2005 6:13 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
2828 Views
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I was wondering, how many AFFer's, in state and from out of state, come to Derby in Kentucky each May? Has there ever been a get together for fellow AFFers before? Should there be? I was thinking this might be an excellent time for people all over to come together (no pun intended  )and have some fun. Especially since Derby is a time for partying and fun. There's Lexington (though no smoking allowed) and Louisville (you can still smoke in bars there) and everywhere inbetween to choose from. Plenty of things to do and festivities to be found.
So what do you all think? LesbianPersonals party Derby 2006?
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Moonlit Skin
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Posted:Aug 26, 2005 6:51 am
Last Updated:Oct 21, 2006 9:53 am
2876 Views
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This past full moon we had was just...enchanting! I don't know what it was about it. At first I was simply in awe of walking around outside seeing everything as clearly as day only with the gentle silvery glow.
Then the compulsion came over me to strip. I wanted the moonlight to touch my skin. There was a gentle warm breeze that was perfect (no humidity, not too chilly). I spent a good hour or so just enjoying the feel of 'moonbathing' as I listened to the secretive songs of the night creatures tuning up thier symphony through the night. Watched the ballet of the fireflies dance about in the trees and woods just at the edge of my yard. I watched the clouds, silver lined, drift across the sky. It was heavenly. So natural. (good thing I live out in the country so as not to give any neighbors a free show huh?)
The only thing that would have made it even more perfect would have been having a hot tub or a swimming pool to float in and feel the caress of the water against my naked flesh. And, of course, someone to share the beauty of the night with.
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We Shall Call HIM...Raoul
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Posted:Aug 19, 2005 8:23 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
2739 Views
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I had another encounter with my crush today. Nothing major. Just a little game of car tag after work. I think he wanted me to pull over and talk (looking back in hindsight that is) but stupid as I am I just waved at him as he pulled up beside me and kept going my own way. Maybe it's for the better. Staying away. But just that little exchange sure put a smile on my face. Oh the good times we could have together. If only he wasn't with her. Damn the Fates. They are cruel cruel individuals. *sigh* Oh well.
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Schoolgirl crushes
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Posted:Aug 16, 2005 6:58 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
2678 Views
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You know, I don't know why it is but I have recently discovered I have a crush on someone. He is a co-worker of mine. He is spoken for so he's off-limits and I can accept that. (my own code of honor you could say, even though he's not officially married yet, just engaged.)
You see, we have a lot of things in common. We have the same sense of humor. Just seeing him makes me happy and if I get to talk to him alls the better. I could practically float on air with a big smile on my face.
The thing is, I want this crush to go away. (the feeling, not the person) I am not a homewrecker by any means. I don't want to ruin anyone's relationship. Sure I'll curse fate that we met too late. That he already had someone when I met him. Wish that things went differently. Know that I am better suited to him (by his own admission!) than the woman he is with. But I'll never act on it.
I want him as a friend. But how do I make these stupid crush feelings go away. I'm so afraid that I am transparent when I'm around him. So much so that I try to make sure that I ask about the fiance and invite her to do things together (although doing anything together at all hasn't really happened). I try to force myself to like her even though she is my polar opposite, just to help strengthen my resolve to let nature take it's course. Not to mention have others see I have no interest in this man aside from friendship.
I just don't know what to do. I know what I want to happen but it seems neither of those senarios will happen (1: be with him 2:stop having feelings for him). But I can't avoid him.
I had a dream sometime back that I was at his house and we were in the living room and he started kissing me. Right at that moment his fiance walked in and caught us. I awoke from the dream startled and scared that this could happen. I just don't know what to do about him. I'm perplexed.
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Homeland Security and Electronics
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Posted:Aug 9, 2005 8:16 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
2461 Views
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I swear! If there's something I hate it's all the damn stickers and plastic wrap and bells and whistles and everything else that comes on CD's and DVD's and video games! I am so sick of having to break into Fort Knox just to listen to a new CD. It's ridiculous.
I think the guys that are in charge of securing the electronics software should be put in charge of Homeland Security. God knows they make it hard enough to get into a damn DVD that they would make it impossible for terrorists to to get into the country! Sheesh! For cryin out loud!
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Happiness Is....
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Posted:Aug 8, 2005 4:00 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
2292 Views
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I have not been able to stop smiling. I have rediscovered some emotion. I have rediscovered happiness once more. I'm not sure what it was or if it was a combination of things but I'm glad it happened. I had a fantastic weekend and it has changed everything. My outlook on life is no longer bleak. I have hope for the future instead of endless years of the same numb emptiness. It wasn't as if some extrodinary happened this weekend to make this happen either. It was simple things. Small things that just all came together at the right time in the right way to make everything shine in a whole new light. Perhaps my period of darkness is at last coming to a close. Maybe I can finally shut the door on the pain of the past that has numbed me to all feeling. Start a new chapter. I'm still worried, wondering what horrible thing is lying around the corner to swamp me with fetid ugliness of life, to make me pay for the joy I just had. But I'm trying to ignore that fear for the moment. I need this. I need to feel again. I need to feel alive once more. The fact that I have noone to share it with doesn't seem like a bad thing. I've always been an independant person. I've never really needed to have someone at my side 24-7. Constant companionship is not what I seek. It would be nice from time to time to have someone around. Someone close. But until the time is right I know I can do just fine alone. I will not rush things. I will not pine away at lonliness. I will live in the moment and feel what the world has to give.
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Sugardaddys
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Posted:Jul 29, 2005 4:11 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
2396 Views
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Okay so I joined this group on LesbianPersonals to see what exactly a SugarDaddy relationship was all about. asked questions and never really got answers. So I am left being curious. A lethal condition for us felines I know.
So what is it, I'm wondering? I know the basics. A man who provides funds or goods in exhange for a companion. Sounds a lot like that way. But aside from the obvious what do the two people get out of the relationship? What emotional satisfation is in it? What is the draw? Is it the lure of money? Sex? Is it a dom/sub thing? A control issue? Arg!
I just wanna know and understand it. Is it like in the movies or is it different? Who knows, maybe some day one of them on there will give me a response.
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Tribute to the Classy BBW Group
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Posted:Jul 25, 2005 10:14 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
2303 Views
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I have to say, that of all the groups I have browsed here that the Classy BBW groups moderated by Rog are the best.
What a wonderful, intelligent, heartfelt group of people! When I first joined LesbianPersonals it was a spur of the moment thing where I really didn't put a lot of stock into it or give it that much thought. It seemed more like you're typical smut talking kinda place. (Which hey face it, we all like on occasion.) But then I started checking out groups and blogs and was blown away by the people whom I read here.
Guess life always finds little ways to suprise you.
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Webcam Peeves
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Posted:Jul 14, 2005 9:50 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
2341 Views
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Okay this is going to sound snipey and it is I suppose but isn't that what a blog is for? To vent? 
Women are not always the proper ladies that society wants us to be. Does it mean we aren't a lady if we also want a certain measure of crudeness from time to time?
I joined a Group names Girls Watching Guys something or other that escapes me at this moment. Why? you ask. Because sometimes I just want to be a silent observer.
I do not want to chit chat. I do not want to talk you through your mastrubation. If I did I would volunteer that for you from the start.
Sometimes, I just want to see a beautiful erect dick. Is that so wrong? I'm a woman. I like men and all thier parts.
Don't ask me for extra pictures. If I wanted you to have them I would volunteer them from the begining of the conversation.
I don't want to cam to cam with you. I didn't join a Cam2Cam group. I joined a Watching group.
Don't ask me a million questions when I'm watching you. Likely I'm busy with both my hands trying to reach my orgasm myself. Stopping in the middle of it when it starts feeling good or just starting and stopping repeatedly kinda makes it difficult.
If you don't want to just show off for others, go to another group for people who want to mutually exhibit for each other. I like being that silent person from afar. The fly on the wall.
Can't you just shut up and let me? Selfish? Maybe but sometimes you have to be. It's been a LONG time since I worried about me. It's always been taking care of other's needs. It's time I had a little selfish me time, don't you think? Is that so bad? Does it make me a bad person?
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Human Conditions
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Posted:Jul 11, 2005 7:57 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
2429 Views
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With my mind going every which way I thought I'd just get some stuff down in writing, get it out of my head. This post will have no direction, no purpose. Just a stream of consciousness that will most likely be hard to follow. Enter at you're own risk. If something grabs your eye to comment on go for it.
Lonely....I'm Mr. Lonely.....I want somebody to call my own....
What is it about the human animal that makes them social? What makes them crave contact with others? What makes them crave and yearn for touch? It doesn't have to be sex, the brush of a hand across a shoulder in passing a crowded place, a pat on the back, a massage, a hug, touch of the hair or head? Why do our bodies sometimes act without our conscious efforts? Whya re people who are together usually so all alone despite the mask of laughter they wear? Can't they see their loneliness and desperation clings to them like a scent? Makes a trail for the carrion to follow and devour?
Why is it you are sitting there with no intent at all and get the most vivid provacative image of grabbing someone you know but never considered sexually, have no true logical desire for and throw them down and kiss them passionately? A thought that leaves you feeling puzzled and confused as you stand there in a casual conversation at work with this person. A person you have no sexual interest in? Why can you make another person lose thier train of thought and verbally stutter through a sententce with a mere glance to them of your eyes? Is there something in there? A smoulder that you never intended? I desire that shines through even if you aren't thinking about it? Is your subconscious that powerful? Or the mere thought of more than casual contact with another, making you feel a warmth pooling in your abdomen, making your desire flair, even momentarily.
Why is it you think about going further and you feel somehow less than desireable when you feel a sensual power within you? When you know that you can please a person beyond the limits of thier mind yet you still feel insecure even with that knowledge of self. With that passion inside you? The toe curling, moan eliciting, pulse throbbing sexual power like a goddess of myth within you. Yet you scrutinze yourself, even if you hide from yourself. You feel powerful and beautiful at the same time you feel visually unappealing to others, though you know from thier reactions that it isn't the case. You're thighs could be firmer, your stomach flatter, your breasts perkier or smaller, your hips narrower, ....every tiny detail becomes a flaw. every milimeter scrutinized...no longer looking at the larger composite picture of the beauty...no longer looking at the inner beauty...no longer seeing the small imperfections that make you unique and beautiful...Why do we torture ourselves? is it ingrained? Is it trained by the visuals given to us in the media as to what should be attractive? Are we sheep? Do we follow the call of the elite with a bleeting of our minds to see things and people as others see them instead of what we can see with our own two eyes? our own hearts? Feel with our senses? Are we mindless zombies? Do our eyes and our hands see differently? Why is it pleasing to the eye and not to the touch? Pleasing to the touch but not the eye? What causes the confusion? The argument of the senses?
or passionate? Chosey or frigid? Is there an in between? If not can you reconcile the two? How? Independant or afraid? Brave or coward? Will we ever know? Will we ever know?
will we
ever
know
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I'm puzzled
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Posted:Jul 8, 2005 3:56 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
2385 Views
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I keep hearing from men who say they can never find a woman who will give oral sex or who don't do it well. I hear from women who say they don't like doing it.
This puzzles me. What woman doesn't like oral sex done on her? Why would they want to deny thier partner the same?
I guess I've never understood this, probably never will. I had a wonderful initiation into the world of sex. My partenr made love to me. He let me explore and prompted me to let myself explore him, knowing instinctively my curious nature. It was beautiful.
Personally I love to please the man I'm with oraly. I love the feel, the sounds of him, the look on his face, the power you feel knowing that his urgent desires are quite literally in your hands (and mouth!). You can speed it up, slow it down. Give a suprising lick or urgent suction.
So does anyone have any input as to why this strange phenomena happens with women? Why they are so adverse to oral sex?
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Sultry Summer
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Posted:Jun 26, 2005 3:31 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
2326 Views
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What is it about the heat and sultriness of summer that sends urges and cravings through the roof? It makes desires wanton and dreams illicit. The mind works in fantastical ways, sneaking in daydreams when you least expect it and leaving you with a flushed face and flustered feeling at the most inopportune times.
I've reined in my passions for years. Me, a very sensual and passionate person. I've lived a very monastic life and gladly so. But it is days like this that send the temptation of incubi to taunt a soul.
When is Fall again?
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Here I go....
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Posted:Jun 25, 2005 11:57 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
2229 Views
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My first post. It should be something profound and ground breaking, earth shattering confessions and whatnot, correct? Oh well...I hope you didn't get your hopes set too high.
I'm a very private person. I rarely share my true feelings with people. I guard them, keep them safe and protected from the scrutiny and persecution, the judgement and mockery of the world. But here I can have a small window to annonymously share them. To get feedback form like-minded people.
It's funny in today's age where technology brings us all so much closer, brings people thousands of miles away together in one forum that it also , in a sense, drives us further apart. Everyone is so connected but at the same time so solitary. It's a Catch 22 really.
Perhaps it's the safety and security of distance that allows it. It would certainly make sense in my case. I always find myself attracted to people I will either never ever meet or people that live so far away that it would be impossible to meet them. Or I'll find that person that 'clicks' with me and they live far away. I don't know if it is my own inner self defeatist or the cruel joke of fate. Perhaps one day I'll know.
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To link to this blog (CuriousKitty675) use [blog CuriousKitty675] in your messages.
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