Entitlement?
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Posted:Mar 10, 2016 8:30 pm
Last Updated:May 20, 2017 1:06 pm
10093 Views
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So, I know that both men and women deal with attitudes of entitlement in their intimate relationships. I really want to hear about your experiences.
Here are some of mine:
1) Men who feel entitled to a response for their online messages. No. You are not entitled to a response from a stranger online anymore than you are entitled to sex after dinner. Period. The minute you start behaving as you think so is the minute you confirm that my decision to NOT respond to your message as more than a necessity--it was critical.
2) Men who are under the impression that just because they like me, that I will like them back, or show interest. No. Just like in the real world, or in high school, just because you have the hots for a woman does NOT mean she has the hots for you. We like who we like just the same as you.
3) Men who are under the impression that if they behave a certain way that they are somehow owed sex, or need to be "allowed" out of the "friend zone." NO ONE is ever OWED sex. NO ONE. Females are not machines that you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.
4) Men who think that because a woman identifies as a slut, or identifies as being interested in having sex that it means that woman ought to have sex with him. See #2
5) Men who are under the impression that I should change how I act to suit them. Yeah, just no. WTF? Way to illustrate you are a controlling man and you think that women are just put on earth to be your puppets and make YOU feel good. Yeah, fuck that.
So these are some things I've seen. What about you?
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9
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Why Blog?
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Posted:Mar 10, 2016 7:28 pm
Last Updated:May 20, 2017 1:15 pm
8441 Views
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So, even though this is a new profile, I've been familiar with LesbianPersonals's blogosphere for a very long time, having been on here for over a decade with my ex. I liked it here because people would just say what they thought without a lot of pretense and I found it refreshing to hear the way people thought without the everyday filter most of us wear.
It's also nice to hear from people who are sexually open-minded in ways that go far beyond the garbage that lands in my inbox most of the time (reference yesterday's post, for instance, for the lack of quality that entails).
People who write are people who care about thinking. They care so much about thinking that they want to share thinking with others...share their own thoughts and hear the thoughts of others, as well. I've begun to realize these are also the only kind of people I truly care to date--those who care enough about thinking to give others' thoughts significant care and consideration.
Sure, chemistry and physical attraction are huge, as well, but without the ability to think about the thinking of others, a man's physical body means very little to me. Without the ability to think about one's own thinking, a man's physical body means very little to me. The chemistry, for all intents and purposes, is gone.
So, why do YOU blog?
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4
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Do I laugh or do I cry?
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Posted:Mar 9, 2016 7:34 pm
Last Updated:May 20, 2017 1:15 pm
8239 Views
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How do I send a massage? Is this a new service offered by flowers.com?
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1
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A fucket list...
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Posted:Mar 6, 2016 9:00 pm
Last Updated:Mar 24, 2016 2:10 pm
8243 Views
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Someone posted about her fucket list. It makes me think I should make a fucket list. I had one when I was 17...then I promptly knocked out the whole thing with one guy within a week or two. I wonder what I would put on one now...
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3
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Experiences from a (mostly straight) female POV
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Posted:Mar 6, 2016 1:10 pm
Last Updated:May 20, 2017 1:15 pm
8392 Views
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So, I think a lot of times that guys will think women have it a lot easier when it comes to dating. Yes, we have more choices and options, but no, it can be one really kooky thing after another...not to mention the stuff we get in our inboxes.
So, this weekend I was looking to get out more, because some things I had planned fell through. After sending out many messages, this is how it went.
1) Maybe 3 replied. Most didn't.
2) One guy said he wanted to meet up for drinks, and then cancelled 30 minutes later, after I'd gotten ready.
3) One guy I'd been talking to for a long time got sick.
4) One guy I'd been talking to for a long time was working late.
5) One guy I'd had a great time with before had feelings that were interfering with his ability to date at the moment.
6) One guy I hadn't messaged messaged me about getting me pregnant (pregnancy was a total nightmare for me, so this was rather horrifying).
7) One guy I hadn't messaged messaged me about being his , offering gifts and "donations" to get together once per week.
 One guy was out of town on work.
9) One guy hit me up in chat over and over as I proceeded to ignore him, including a message about "How can I get you to reply to me." I called him out for his douchebaggery, to which his eventual response was, "What's wrong? Are you having a bad hair day?" Seriously. He harassed me, I explained to him how it's unacceptable and stalkerish, and he had the gall to ask me if I was having a bad hair day.
So, I know you guys think women on here just have it easy. Hopefully, this gives you a window into all the things that can go wrong even when it appears that you have a lot of options.
I still have one guy that said he could do coffee with me...but he never accepted my suggestion for a place to meet, so it makes me wonder if he plans on doing so...
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7
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Licking Pussy in a Profile--How do you feel when you see that?
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Posted:Mar 6, 2016 12:48 pm
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2018 12:23 am
10705 Views
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I see so many profiles where the guys rave about how much they like giving oral. Personally, I don't enjoy seeing that in a profile. It doesn't do anything positive for me to see a guy write that. When I see it, it makes me think the guy, himself, is projecting what HE would like to see in a woman's profile.
That being said, I know I cannot speak for everyone.
If you are a guy, how do you think women feel when they read things like this? How do women respond to it?
If you are a woman, how do you feel when you see this in a profile? Does it make you more, or less, interested in going out with a guy?
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9
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Sometimes, this site...
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Posted:Mar 5, 2016 6:20 am
Last Updated:May 30, 2017 11:24 pm
7877 Views
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Someone needs to help this guy understand that pregnancy can be one of the most miserable life experiences that a person has ever hsd...
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3
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And then...
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Posted:Mar 4, 2016 9:53 am
Last Updated:May 20, 2017 1:14 pm
7786 Views
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And that's how it goes, folks!
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3
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Communication
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Posted:Mar 3, 2016 10:06 pm
Last Updated:May 20, 2017 1:13 pm
8053 Views
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Grandma is so right!
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3
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Life is good.
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Posted:Mar 1, 2016 11:29 pm
Last Updated:May 20, 2017 1:13 pm
8112 Views
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Being nonmonogamous is a complicated thing for me. I like it. It also deeply terrifies me. I spent a very long time being married to someone who was unhappy being monogamous. When I finally showed an interest in nonmonogamy, he did what many males will do--freaked the fuck out. He could handle HIMSELF talking about nonmonogamy. He could handle himself being nonmonogamous. He lost his shit when it came to me identifying how I fit within the paradigm of nonmonogamy or practicing it. Then he denied his inability to handle it.
I never said I had to be nonmonogamous. I realized I identified as being polyamorous. Yet, I was willing to just muddle through. He insisted on being nonmonogamous, anyways. I tried to muddle through. He just gradually lost it. He projected his own shit all over me and blamed me for all kinds of things. He was unwilling to hear me when I tried to help him work through things. We'd go to therapy and then he'd throw out all the new learning. It became a total and utter clusterfuck.
So, terrified.
That being said, I've been seeing someone I deeply and utterly adore for more than a couple of years. I trust him more deeply than I've ever trusted anyone in my entire life. We started nonmonogamously, but wound up being monogamous for awhile because other things dropped off. He wanted to go back. I was extremely nervous. He's been helping me work through my anxieties about it. Now I've started seeing others. I'm finding interesting people to meet. I found one I'm interested in seeing a lot more of, someone I talked to for awhile before I found time. Turns out there's some really good chemistry there.
And so, life is good. I'm kind of glad there are kind, vulnerable, compassionate, magical people in the world, and it makes me happy when I finally meet them.
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2
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Work With Me Here -- following simple instructions
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Posted:Mar 1, 2016 11:01 pm
Last Updated:May 20, 2017 1:11 pm
9083 Views
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Okay, so here's the thing..."Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do."
Robin Williams is the closest thing I have ever had to a male father figure, so I consider his words golden. And no, boys, I don't have daddy issues. Just seriously, don't be dumb about contacting me, or I will use my ever handy delete button.
You ever hear of Cunning Minx? Yanno why she is with that guy she traipses around with? Because she wrote a user manual and HE READ IT. I.e., the man knows how to follow simple directions.
Smart men know how to follow directions. Be smart. Follow directions.
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3
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Dickonomics
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Posted:Feb 15, 2016 1:45 pm
Last Updated:May 24, 2017 11:05 pm
28496 Views
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You need to understand there are a few rules you are living under when contacting single females on this site, or any internet dating site, whether you realize it or not:
1) Be interesting and interested.
2) Be forthcoming.
3) Convince the interesting female that you are a worthwhile and reasonable risk.
The unfortunate reality is that society, generally speaking, views women as prey, overall, and women who own their sexuality as disposable--see Stoya, see many serial killers, see 1/4 of females who have been r****. Unless you can convince me you are a worthwhile and reasonable risk, you won't get past my inbox. The minute I think that you think your need to watch your back is more important than your need to make sure that you have my back is the minute I send you packing. I'm both fun and intelligent...and I will treat your intentions as suspect until you've given me reason to feel otherwise.
If you are outside my predetermined age range, I won';t reply.
If you are outside my predetermined area, I won't reply.
If you are particularly vague or boring, I may give you an opportunity to up your game. If you can't, I will no longer reply.
Remember: The reality in online dating is that it's a numbers game. On this site, those number vastly favor the women, as with most online dating sites. Remember, "Dick is abundant and low value" (Google it if you don't recognize the phrase and learn about internet Dickonomics). I've met plenty of people from online dating sites. If I choose not to meet you, it's because I haven't been given a reason to do so, not because I'm particularly cagey, a catfish, or not real. I need to be given a reason to meet you that outweighs my perception of the possible risks. If you want to know how to start, a very good starter is: First, don't be boring.
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9
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To link to this blog (Red_Elf) use [blog Red_Elf] in your messages.
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