Odds n Ends
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Posted:Jul 10, 2009 7:24 pm
Last Updated:Dec 21, 2015 8:12 am
3063 Views
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The Green Eyed Monster
The green eyed monster lurks within
the drool of glee on his mouth and chin
he chuckles and laffs and hides inside
where he suckles on envy, wounded pride, and desire
he feeds and he feasts, and keeps stoking the fire.
He fattens and grows, sole purpose to annoy
till replete he leaps forward with a shout of great joy
in his glory now, how his eyes do shine,
as he wreaks havoc on hearts and muddles up minds
jealousy, accusations, betrayal and more
he continues to dance till my soul is quite sore,
he tangos and waltzes he dips and he spins,
he foxtrots, he taps and he twists in my head,
he sambas and jives till friendships are dead.
He's hard to control, this evil emotion
as hard as controlling the waves in the ocean,
he lies there quite dormant, this demon inside
till some quirky ocurrance, some need to vent
unleashes this misery to hurt and torment.
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Unwelcomed
In the eye of a tornado, standing all alone
watching as the world spins rapidly around,
I see the names, the faces and the voices
spinning into a confusing cacophony of light and sound
occasionally a lull will slow the maelstrom down,
and then a word or thought will reach into my senses
the feeling of belonging, being wanted, fitting in, will knock down my defenses.
But as time passes they talk above me and around me and forget that I am here
they step back into their private worlds, I dont feel welcomed there.
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Outside my Window
My kitchen window faces east, the world outside it not quite black
but shifting shades of dark greens blues and greys much like the feeling inside me.
I stand there in the early morning, taking in the dark secretive beauty of the waning night
I can make out the outline of the trees, the snow drifts, small out buildings.
The quick shadow of a fox moving across the open field hunting for the mice tunnelling under the snow
My eyes are drawn to the horizon, where the first glimmer of light from the rising sun
begins to lift the darkness from the earth.
First just a very slim brightness outlining the top of distant mountains, then gold,orange, fiery red,
then a brilliant pink, and, as if by some magicians hand the snowy world outside my window begin to change,
the dark grey and deep blue shadows gradually lighten to pearly purple and mauve.
The snow clad trees greet the morn dressed in glistening, dancing, mutlucoloured lights,
as the rising sun reflects off the snow crystals.
The earth, long blanketed in mounds and drifts of untouched snow now awash in shades of pink,
as the morning slowing gains purchase on the night.
The colours on the horizon so brilliant, so sharp and new,bringing light and warmth to my world,
I cant help but open the window and let it wash over me, letting it cleanse my mind
of the darkness as easily as it lifted the shadows of the night outside.
A glorious sunrise ..my heart is filled with smiles ...
*************************************************************
The Power of Words
whisper box blinks may we talk cautious questions
willing answers silliness words of friendship
then more than that closer still
warmth comfort happiness found
in the feel of words not feel of flesh
tears and smiles unseen
just words formed upon a screen
words of love words of pain words of joy
red blue green all colours on white
no inflection no expression just words
tenderness hope compassion fear
anger flavour tone spirit
conveyed not by sound or tactile sensation
just words spelled out upon a screen
words that hurt calm caress hold kiss stroke
your body your soul your imagination
pauses grammar punctuation spelling
reflecting mood meaning intention behind
the words written on a screen
words of trust security confidence
teasing words hopefull words
words that embrace words that shatter
your words have become my world
all written on a screen
****************************************************
Always Wishing
From a distance she gazes across the way,
aching because he is not there with her.
trembling with a craving for his touch,
yearning for the sound of his voice.
He is her friend & close confidante-
her spirit aches to share so much with him.
Time and distance have not dulled what she feels;
it is a fire that burns deep within her being.
maybe one day she will look across the way
and see him looking right back.
maybe it won't ever happen, who's to say.
whether or not it does
he is master of her heart,
always and forever
****************************************************
Another Dawn
early morning, another sleepless night, silence surrounds her,
eyes glazed, unfocused, as thoughts and images tumble unbidden,
tears for days gone past, a life that could have, shoudl have been,
unpleasant memories not quite whole, fleeting images of anger, loneliness and pain so deep,
ghosts from days long gone,fears for the future she cant quite see,
now jsut a vapour trail in the swiftly fading darkness,
as the rosy fingers of another dawn, another miracle, illuninates the promise of
hope and peace of mind.
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Why I Write
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Posted:Jun 30, 2009 7:06 pm
Last Updated:May 2, 2012 6:18 am
2009 Views
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Dark Time Past
in recent years, when stressed and angered,
when my world has overwhelmed me,
when i am unable to speak
words wont form upon my tongue,
my fingertips have flown across my keyboard
putting substance to words my mouth cant spit out.
miles and miles of written lines,
one after another formed loosely in rhyme,
words of happiness, hate, love, hurt and scorn
each telling of emotional death or a joy reborn
each one charged with feelings so intense
in re reading i have often shocked myself
each poem a remembrance that shook me to my soul,
each word, each line spilled forth from my fingers, carrying thoughts
and feelings straight from my heart.
Thoughts oft turned words as dark as night,
from deep within where there was no light.
Now my thoughts are filled with light, and a myriad of colours,
brilliant blues, greens, reds and yellows,
each one sparkling like precious jewels, giving hope to my tomorrows.
My tongue no longer flashes sharp, slashing quickly into a heart
The dark time, now for me is past.
Angered words no longer dwell within, my thoughts and soul calm at last,
If not happy at least content, to let things be as they are meant.
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Being Alone
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Posted:Jun 30, 2009 9:26 am
Last Updated:Dec 24, 2012 8:14 am
1719 Views
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I so despise being alone, but I want no one near,
no sound, nothing, no voice do I hear.
I hunger to speak face to face,
but I don't want anyone crowding my space.
I don't know which way to turn,
each option presented I seem to spurn.
Days on end I crave a voice, a touch,
if I don't seek it out, do i want it that much?
I go into town and it just seems so loud,
I go out with friends, but not a part of the crowd
on th fringe, a bystander, not really seen.
I wander away, to a space in between,
a space where nothing reaches me,
a space where no one touches me,
the space I created over so many years
the space I created to hide fears and tears.
On the surface I'm happy, a quick smile on my face
hopefully concealing whats buried beneath.
A soul drained of heart, a heart drained of heat,
immune to the flirting, teasing and play,
a heart growing harder and colder each day.
I need to need someone more than I need me.
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The Binding
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Posted:Jun 29, 2009 5:32 pm
Last Updated:Dec 24, 2012 8:16 am
1663 Views
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The Binding
The last few feet she walked alone, her steps they did not falter,
for she was chosen, she alone, to be sacrificed up on the altar.
Her faith and trust was broad in scope, her heart was quite serene,
for she knows before this day was out, that she will be his queen.
This man shes known so long a time, her heart he does desire,
his queen in life, or death, the choice the gods require.
The choice is hers, to live or die, but he must wield the knife,
for her heart, bloodied, from beneath her breast,
or offered filled with love, will be held by him throughout his life.
It is a timeless ritual, this binding of queen to king,
the maiden chosen by priests, the king, the gods above.
They stands before the altar, now, as rediness is made,
shes lifted, lain prone upon the stone, hiding in her hand her love.
He looms above her, his eyes on hers, the knife held in his hand,
there is no choice, if she says nay, custom says she dies
and he will rule without a queen on this hereditary land
Fingers tight upon the hilt, tho he loves this maiden so,
he asks of her the question "with me will you grow old?"
She does not speak it is forbidden, instead unclasps her hand,
and holds for all to see, ruby heart on a chain of gold.
Tho ritual longstanding, the outcome never known,
kings have often spilled hearts blood upon the sacrificial stone.
Collective breaths held long, released, the priest begin their chanting
as promised queen places her heart upon the chest of her chosen one.
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Full Circle
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Posted:Jun 29, 2009 3:03 pm
Last Updated:Dec 24, 2012 8:17 am
1635 Views
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Full Circle
You appeared on my computer screen
in a whirl of anger. You'd been maligned.
Offered me your friendship, nothing more, no ties
we talked, laffed ,cursed and laffed some more
grew close as friends, talked of futures, hopes desires
with you i shared, no fear of judgment or shame,
the closeness that i felt cannot be explained
I loved you as a dear friend, even a big brother.?
Each morning i looked forward to spending time with you.
You warmed my heart, fed my spirit, and my ego too.
Calmed my fears, smoothed my anger, made me smile like no other.
Time and happenstance have changed all that.
now we cannot, dare not speak at all.
you've gone out of my life the way you arrived,
in a whirl of anger at being maligned.
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earth renewed
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Posted:Jun 13, 2009 10:42 am
Last Updated:Dec 24, 2012 8:18 am
1589 Views
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Earth Renewed
Morning wakes cloudless, brilliant blue,
grasses frosted with heavy dew,
young robins and jays, just out of nest,
singing and flitting from tree to tree
slight breeze whispers through the aspen leaves,
sounds like softly clicking castanets,
sun on dew covered spiders web
glistens in multicoloured hues,
gophers whistle, sensing intrusion
chatter and scramble with babes to seclusion,
half grown fox kits,
walk cat-like through grass
hunting for food to break their fast
the vixen barks they quickly depart.
Morning fun over, the young settle down
as on the horizon thunderheads crown
billowing, vivid white, against the blue
castles of clouds, soon darken to grayish hue
changing from white to deepest grey
embracing the earth darkening the day.
wind, whisper soft, gathers speed
shaking and bending slender trees
lightening, blue white, streaks the sky
as thunder rumbles loudly by.
clouds heavy with moisture, can hold no more
and the earth is treated to a sudden downpour.
Unencumbered, their burdens gone
clouds lift. break, scatter across the sky
sun uncovered , the sky deep blue
only marshmallow clouds are now in view
the land once parched,wet with rain,
the air fresh, clean, the earth renewed
birds rejoicing overhead,
as the cycle begins all over again.
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miracles
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Posted:Jun 13, 2009 10:33 am
Last Updated:Jan 22, 2016 2:39 pm
1589 Views
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from nothing,
bare, empty, void, yet filled with
memories of fleeting ideas,
feelings,sensatons,
fractured thoughts,
diaphanous images,
a convoluted labyrinth
a coiled and complex chaos of
moiling tumbling discord
substantial yet non existent.
a miniscule fragment solidifies strengthens
clings tenaciously to life, grows,changes,blossoms
reproduces,
a life, a story, a song, a poem,
a miracle is born
...........................
You came into my life 'out of nowhere'
professing love, asking me to share your world,
drowning my senses with the words my soul craved,
Overwhelmed with the quickness of it all,
unsure I hesitated, shut you out, withdrew,
unable to give the same to you.
and suddenly you've found somebody new.
not confident enough, I took my time,
now you share with her, what could have been mine.
Shes there,saying the things she knows she should,
saying the words that I never could.
She calls you sweetie, you call her dear,
saying all the things you want to hear.
To steal the words form an old old song..
You dont know what youve got till its gone..
.............................
you took my pride
you took my satisfaction
you took my joy
you took my sense of accomplishment
you took my self
you took my love
you left me broken
you left me hurt
you left me hating what i loved
you left me nothing
the me i was no longer is
the me i am is getting stronger
the me i want to be will take longer
the me i am has no need
for anything from anyone
the me i am is free
the me i am is proud of me
.................................
To truly discover who I am,
i must first discover you
not only who you are,
but who you are to me
for without you i dont exist
you are the yang to my yin
i know your spirit, i know your heart
i know the touch of your mind to mine
i know the touch of your hands
the feel of your lips
i know your moods
yet i dont know you for we have not met.
You are as hidden as the person within me
when i find you, i will have found me
i am not whole without you
as we will clash, we will also meld
our differences making us whole in each other.
....................................
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nightmoves..
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Posted:Jun 13, 2009 10:29 am
Last Updated:Dec 2, 2015 4:29 am
614 Views
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In the hour before light,
on a warm summers night,
our thoughts entwine,
I am yours you are mine.
For as long as need be
there's just you and me.
We lay in sweet grasses
flesh touching flesh,
your hand on my breast,
our bodies, sated, at rest.
I feel the smile on your lips,
your warm words near my ear,
your fingers tangled in my hair.
My back to your chest
our cravings eased.
we bathe in the night sounds
carried on the breeze.
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Hunger..
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Posted:Jun 13, 2009 10:27 am
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2017 6:01 pm
731 Views
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I hunger for something, seek its identity,
it haunts the mists of my memory.
Ephemeral yet persistent.
I run from it, yet reach for it.
A sun warmed rock in a sheltered cove
far from this prairie that i love
A distant shoreline calls to me
its nature is sound
as whitecapped waves pound.
Its nature is smell.
salty, wet, like tears, but more.
I am rooted on that shore,
as waves from across a pearl grey sea
spread fingers of water to beckon me
'come ride my tide, feel my caress
what you seek, I can provide
come with me to the far east side
where warmth waits, its not a token,
but healing for a soul thats broken'.
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hell in a handcart..
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Posted:Jun 12, 2009 5:24 pm
Last Updated:Dec 2, 2015 4:31 am
564 Views
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I'm goin to hell in a hand cart
of that there is no doubt
i'm going to hell in a hand cart
and its not slowing down at all.
its rolling towards the gates of hell
at a slow but steady pace
the stench of fire and brimstone
is thick about my face.
I'm going to hell in a hand cart
but i wont go there alone
i'm going to hell in a hand cart
i'll meet YOU in our new home
We're going to hell in a handcart
but we wont be there alone
cos we are all goin to hell in a handcart
as sure as beans will make ya fart.
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.l 
