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Ohhh Mannnn,,,
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Posted:Sep 18, 2011 6:30 pm
Last Updated:May 8, 2024 8:42 pm
7504 Views
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Am I hurting LOL. Every bone in my body hurts. I think even my eyelashes are hurting LMAO!! I think its called exhaustion.....
I m not complaining. I m happy to be so busy, and with nice customers. Some I ve known now since the bar first opened, some who were new.And one very, very large familty in particular  They came in last week (between 15 and 25 of them  ) and they have been coming in every night since. They have a couple more days of holiday left so...happy daze  .
I ll take a night off when they leave 
Last night, after work, I went to a friends bar for a drink before going home. My flatmate had visitors staying overnight ( her b/f AND his 2 ...) and i didnt want to bang into them (my excuse anyway lol).
Being late, (theres a secret "knock code"  ) there were only a few in the bar. One mental Finnish girl who completely lost the plot and went stratospheric. Not in a good way either  Christ alone knows what she was on (certainly a mix of drugs and drink)but it wasnt good. It reminded me again that all the weirdos come out after a certain time lol. Scarey time is from 3AM .
My eyes are closing and I reallllllly need some sleep. I just need to get through the next few days .
Night night all..stay safe..and (dont) be good 
A -seriously sleepy - Diz xxx
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Its Pretty Cool....
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Posted:Sep 13, 2011 7:14 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2012 6:05 pm
7430 Views
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The way the mind works eh? It fascinates me. Thankfully I ve had and am having a fairly busy time. I dont think I ll ever get over the feeling of amazement when people still keep coming back - and the way they react. Sometimes I could curl up with embarrasment. I really struggle with being the focus of attention.
For me, I dont think I m doing anything special or different, but I guess they think differently. Anyway, that wasnt the point of this blog .
The Mind LOL. Focus woman, focus!! 
The last few weeks have been very emotional. For lots of reasons. Mostly not mine PMSL. Basically because I dont get to think about mine till days or even weeks later. By then, I ve gone through the whole knee-jerk thing, gone with feelings that perhaps were too deeply buried for far too long and just.blam!!! All came to the surface again. And being so gobbbbby (grins) I just let it all out.
Damaging? Perhaps. Regretted? No. Happy? Absolutely.
Whilst I was so frazzled listening to everyone elses gripes, complaints, moaning and groaning, my subconscious was working on my own. Woke up and hey...! resolved.
No more frustration, anger or not understanding. Knowing the "why", and at peace with it. I always have to know the "why" . Then I m good with it.
Lessons learned, barriers back in place, and a liddddle bit wiser.
All good
Its 4:02 a.m.....
And now on to the Fifth Stage
Nite nite all.
Keep the faith
a calm - happy...peaceful Dizz
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Where to start....
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Posted:Sep 9, 2011 6:58 pm
Last Updated:Sep 11, 2011 6:34 pm
7889 Views
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Dunno really LOL. Its been such a long time that I think I ve forgot how to.And dont give me a smart arse comment like "its just like riding a bike". I knowwwww how to ride a bike .
I ll start from now
The bar is going ok..meeting some weird (very weird) and wonderful people. By that, I probably mean "normal" PMSL.
Actually its a lot of fun - some days, or nights, I should say, more so than others but I m not tired of it yet . I do have the odd "Fubar" moment (fucked up beyond alllll recognition)but hey ho..shit happenz. And that can be fun too
The flip side is is that you very rarely have headspace for yourself. I get home in the wee small hours of the morning, then spend another hour chilling out on my balcony, and fall into bed anywhere between 4 and 5am. Up around 11 or 12, another hour or so to wake up , get organised, do the ordering, and pfffft..suddenly its back to work again. Work being priest(ess) - go figure ..definitely the wrong one for THAT PMSL. Agony aunt, marriage advisor, peace keeper, psychiatrist, devils advocate..whatever LOL. Oh yes...and egg shell walker 
I learned a very big and important lesson very early on. But ant be arsed right now. Next time maybe
More later...time for my balcony ( almost 4am LOL..home early-ish tonight).
Nite nite all.
A very..dizzcombobulated Diz xxx
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Normal Service To Be Resumed
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Posted:Aug 26, 2011 6:16 pm
Last Updated:Sep 11, 2011 6:32 pm
7897 Views
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Its been a longggggggggg time and I need to blog LOL.
Just for me
Back soon......
Dizzy
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One is back........
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Posted:Sep 4, 2010 5:34 pm
Last Updated:Oct 1, 2010 5:51 pm
8079 Views
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Wow!! I can t believe it still works. It s been an age since I ve visited the site. Cooooool. At least to blog more or less anonymously I have sorely missed it..as well as some, I hope, friends who may still be here
It s been a longg time. My life has changed enormously. For the better I think. Older, wiser, and more settled? Nahh...its never going to happen roflmao !!
A -very happy -but still questioning..Dix
I really DO have to give up thatt habit xx
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Life, Love and the Universe....
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Posted:Jul 25, 2009 3:51 am
Last Updated:Sep 12, 2011 6:06 am
8347 Views
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Its funny how life twists and turns.
The heat here is tremendous, and last night,around about midnight, I decided to go to the beach 
Not quite as daft as it sounds - there is a "feria" on in the village and the music, very loud music, goes on until the wee small hours As the saying goes, if you cant beat em, join em.
Theres a small bar on the beach ( more of a shack really),about 20 metres from the shore and maybe 200 metres from my house (dangerous ) and I toddled off to it.
Ice cold vodka, lotttts of ice, an attempt at tonic, and my feet in the sea. Heaven. Bliss .
Theres nothing quite like having nothing in front of you when youre in contemplation mode. Just looking out at a huge nothing. Endless sea. The waves uncceasing, back and forth. Just..nothing.
Eventually I came to the conclusion (probably at the bottom of the glass ) that there have been 4 very major times in my life that have changed me.
The first was when I was on the train, waiting for it to leave the station and bring me to Spain. My dad on the platform, sobbing, and me hardening my heart and willing myself to stay sat still, and the train to move. Now.
The second was when I walked out of my marriage.
The third, when I met a very special person, who, whether he stays in my life or not, I will always be very grateful to have known at all .
The fourth..I m living now.
Perhaps it was the calming influence of the beach, the sea, the gentleness of the night, I dont know. But I feel at peace with the world.
Diz xx
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pfffft.....
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Posted:Jul 14, 2009 11:02 am
Last Updated:Jan 4, 2010 8:17 am
8228 Views
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Not ALL ideas are good ones .
Yesterday (was it yesterday?)I was in the mountains, wearing as little clothing as possible because of the heat (grins..lets just leave it there shall we? hmm?? ) and mannnnn..it was so so soooo damn hot.
Spent far too many hours watching guys measuring apartments, muttering amongst themselves, and basically not doing much more . It only took me about 2 hours to choose the furniture and fabrics, then another 2 for lunch, and it was exhaustiing.
Once home, I took a longggg cold..really, really, REALLY cold shower. It felt wonderful. Almost orgasmic lol. So much so, I took another really, really, REALLY cold shower just before bed.
I woke up this morning feeling like I had been hit by a truck. Head didnt work, body didnt work, everything felt heavy and muzzy. First thing I thought was... "Swine Flu!!" I m dying!!
Then I calmed down and realised it couldnt be that because I havent had a meeting with Chief Pig himself for a few days so...phewww!!...panic over
Upshot..still feel like crap but..no time to rest for a week or two
A ..silly..Diz xx
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When in doubt....
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Posted:Jul 11, 2009 8:30 am
Last Updated:Jul 11, 2009 8:31 am
8019 Views
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Do nothing .
My world..such as it is..was tilted off its axis this morning.
I was expecting it, but didnt know which form it would take.
It was devasting.
I wont know the outcome for a week, and I cant, and wont, do anything about it - the decision is not mine to make.
I suppose its one of those life changing times. Well, theres no suppose about it. It IS one of those life changing times.
Change is good. As one era ends, another begins.
This is one of those eras.
One thing is for certain, I wont be on the course I am on now.
I just dont know which course I WILL be on.
Que será, será.
A - very tilted - diz xx
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