How They Have Sex
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Posted:Sep 19, 2007 8:23 pm
Last Updated:Sep 20, 2007 6:52 pm
1249 Views
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HOW THEY HAVE SEX
ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures.
ACTORS do it on cue.
ADVERTISERS use the "new, improved" method.
AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker.
ANSI does it in the standard way
ARCHEOLOGISTS like it old.
ARCHITECTS have great plans.
ARTISTS are exhibitionists.
ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over.
ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus.
ATTORNEYS make better motions.
AUDITORS like to examine figures.
BABYSITTERS charge by the hour.
BAILIFFS always come to order.
BAKERS knead it daily.
BAND MEMBERS play all night.
BANKERS do it with interest - penalty for early withdrawal.
BARBERS do it with shear pleasure.
BARTENDERS do it on the rocks.
BASEBALL PLAYERS make it to first base.
BASKETBALL PLAYERS score more often.
BEEKEEPERS like to eat their honey.
BEER BREWERS do it with more hops.
BEER DRINKERS get more head.
BICYCLISTS do it with 10 speeds.
BOOKKEEPERS do it with double entry.
BOSSES delegate the task to others.
BOWLERS have bigger balls.
BRICKLAYERS lay all day.
BRIDGE PLAYERS try to get a rubber.
BUS DRIVERS come early and pull out on time.
BUTCHERS have better meat.
C'Bers do it on the air.
CAMPERS do it in a tent.
CARPENTERS hammer it harder.
CARPET LAYERS do it on the floor.
CHEERLEADERS do it with more enthusiasm.
CHEMISTS like to experiment.
CHESS PLAYERS check their mates.
CHIROPRACTORS do it by manipulation.
CLOCK MAKERS do it mechanically.
CLOWNS do it for laughs.
COACHES whistle while they work.
COBOL PROGRAMMERS do it with bugs.
COCKTAIL WAITRESSES serve highballs.
COMPUTER GAME PLAYERS just can't stop.
COMPUTER OPERATORS get the most out of their software.
CONSTRUCTION WORKERS lay a better foundation.
CONSULTANTS tell other how to do it.
COPS have bigger guns.
COWBOYS handle anything horny.
COWGIRLS like to ride bareback.
CRANE OPERATORS have swinging balls.
CREDIT MANAGERS always collect.
DANCERS do it in leaps and bounds.
DEADHEADS do it with Jerry.
DEER HUNTERS will do anything for a buck.
DENTAL HYGIENISTS do it till it hurts.
DENTISTS do it in your mouth.
DETECTIVES do it under cover.
DIETICIANS eat better.
DIRECT MAILERS get it in the sack.
DIVERS do it deeper.
DOCTORS do it with patience.
DRUGGISTS fill your prescription.
DRUMMERS do it in 4/4 time.
DRY WALLER'S are better bangers.
ELECTRICIANS check your shorts.
ENGINEERS charge by the hour.
EXECUTIVES have large staffs.
FARMERS spread it around.
FIREMEN are always in heat.
FISHERMEN are proud of their rods.
FOOTBALL PLAYERS are measured by the yard.
FOUR-WHEELERS eat more bush.
FURRIERS appreciate good beaver.
GARBAGE MEN come once a week.
GARDENERS have 50 foot hoses.
GAS STATION ATTENDANTS pump all day.
GEOLOGISTS are great explorers.
GOLFERS do it in 18 holes.
GYMNASTS mount and dismount well.
HACKERS do it with fewer instructions.
HAIRDRESSERS give the best blow jobs.
HAM OPERATORS do it with frequency.
HANDYMEN like good screws.
HEWLETT PACKARD does it with precision.
HORSEBACK RIDERS stay in the saddle longer.
HUNTERS do it with a bang.
INSURANCE SALESMEN are premium lovers.
INTERIOR DECORATORS do it all over the house.
INVENTORS find a way.
JANITORS clean up afterwards.
JEWELERS mount real gems.
JOGGERS do it on the run.
LANDSCAPERS plant it deeper.
LAWYERS do it in their briefs.
LIBRARIANS do it quietly.
LOCKSMITHS can get into anything.
LONG DISTANCE RUNNERS last longer.
MACHINISTS make the best screws.
MAGICIANS are quicker than the eye.
MAINTENANCE MEN sweep 'em off their feet.
MANAGERS supervise others.
MARKETING REPs do it on commission.
MILKMEN deliver twice a week.
MILLIONAIRES pay to have it done.
MINERS sink deeper shafts.
MINISTERS do it on Sundays.
MISSILE MEN have better thrust.
MODELS do it in any position.
MODEM MANUFACTURERS do it with all sorts of characters.
MOTORCYCLISTS like something hot between their legs.
MOVIE STARS do it on film.
MUSICIANS do it with rhythm.
NONSMOKERS do it without huffing and puffing.
NURSES call the shots.
OCEANOGRAPHERS do it down under.
OPERATORS do it person-to-person.
OPTOMETRISTS do it face-to-face.
PAINTERS do it with longer strokes.
PARAMEDICS PHOTOGRAPHERS do it with a flash.
PHYSICISTS do it with uniform harmonic motion.
PILOTS keep it up longer.
PLUMBERS do it under the sink.
POLICEMEN like big busts.
POLITICIANS do it for 4 years then have to get re-erected.
POSTMEN come slower.
PRINTERS do it without wrinkling the sheets.
PRINTERS reproduce the fastest.
PROCTOLOGISTS do it in the end.
PROFESSORS do it by the book.
RACERS like to come in first.
RACQUETBALL PLAYERS do it off the wall..
RADIO and TV ANNOUNCERS broadcast it.
REAL ESTATE PEOPLE know all the prime spots.
RECYCLERS use it again.
REPAIRMEN can fix anything.
REPORTERS do it daily.
RESEARCHERS are still looking for it.
RETAILERS move their merchandise.
ROOFERS do it on top.
RUNNERS get into more pants.
SAILORS like to be blown.
SALESPEOPLE have away with their tongues.
SCIENTISTS discovered it.
SECRETARIES do it from 9 to 5.
SKYDIVERS are good till the last drop.
SOCCER PLAYERS have leather balls.
SPEECH PATHOLOGISTS are oral specialists.
SPELUNKERS do it underground.
SPORTSCASTERS like an instant replay.
STEWARDESSES do it in the air.
STUDENTS use their heads.
SURGEONS are smooth operators.
TAILORS make it fit.
TAXI DRIVERS do it all over town.
TAXIDERMISTS mount anything.
TELEPHONE CO. EMPLOYEES let their fingers do the walking.
TELLERS can handle all deposits and withdrawals.
TENNIS PLAYERS have fuzzy balls.
TRUCK DRIVERS have bigger dipsticks.
TRUCKERS carry bigger loads.
TYPISTS do it in triplicate.
VETERINARIANS are pussy lovers.
VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS keep it up.
WAITRESSES serve it piping hot.
WATER SKIERS come down harder.
WELDERS have hotter rods.
WRESTLERS know the best holds.
WRITERS have novel ways.
ZOOLOGISTS do it with animal instinct.
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2
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Murphy's Law On Sex
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Posted:Sep 19, 2007 8:21 pm
Last Updated:Sep 20, 2007 6:54 pm
1062 Views
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Murphy's Law in Sex
1.The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
2.Nothing improves with age.
3.No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
4.Sex has no calories.
5.Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
6.There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
7.Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
8.No sex with anyone in the same office.
9.Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
10.A man in the house is worth two in the street.
11.If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
12.Virginity can be cured.
13.When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
14.Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
15.The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
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I got Tagged
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Posted:Sep 17, 2007 7:55 pm
Last Updated:Sep 17, 2007 8:37 pm
1088 Views
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~~Tag your it!~
OH Well I guess Alex tagged me so I am gonna play along.
Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random things, facts, habits, or goals about yourself. At the end choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave them a comment (you're it) and to read your blog. You can't tag the person who tagged youTag your it!~
Tag your it!~
Ok Here are my 10 Things!!!!!!
1. I am a relocated Yankee
2. I Love Hockey
3. I love Candles
4. I enjoy Romantic nights
5. I am a ver pasionate person
6. Honesty is expected at all times
7. I like long slow Kisses
8. I love a good challenge
9. I enjoy time with my friends
10. the way to my heart is through laughter
So Here are the special people I am gonna tag:
I am picking you all because I love you and enjoy your company and want o see what other interesting stuff I can learn about you
Hotdarter
Horney
NCletsplay
Kitty Licious
Angel
Alm 1182
Hasa Halo
Simplegirl
CarolinaGirl4U
Alm1182 Hub
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Rules Of A Meet & Greet
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Posted:Sep 16, 2007 5:42 pm
Last Updated:Sep 19, 2007 7:49 pm
1481 Views
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Rules of A Meet and Greet
Ok I feel I need to say this because obviously there is some misunderstanding for some people.
Meet and greets are for people to go and meet other people that they chat with in the chat room. It is a place where you can place a face to a Screen ID and maybe get to know someone in person rather than behind a computer screen. Some people are one way in the chat room and then in person are very different. Here are some guidelines I think people should follow. If you do I guarantee you, you will enjoy yourself so much more and meet some good friends.
1. GO to Have FUN
2. Never go expecting sex. I know this is a sex web site but not the purpose of a meet and greet if you get it great. You made a connection. Consider that a Bonus.
3. Just because you invite someone to a meet and greet does not mean that there person is yours and everyone else should stay clear. If you do invite someone and you are lucky enough that there is chemistry between you both great. If not do not be upset with another person that might catch their eye.
4. Remember this is a sex site not a relationship site. Although I know a few friends that have had relationships start here and are now married.
5. Do Not change who you are as a person. Be true and honest to yourself and others and you will get the same in return.
6. Remember that you will get what you give. Be polite, courteous, and friendly. If you can do that you will get that in return. If you come to make enemies. You will get enemies.
7. If you didn’t have fun DO NOT COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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9
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Do you Remeber
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Posted:Sep 11, 2007 10:19 pm
Last Updated:Jan 19, 2008 8:04 am
1160 Views
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Do you remember what you were doing and where you were the morning of 9/11.
I do...I was Frantic trying to get a hold of my sister. The cell phones were not working and the land lines were down. Took for ever for me to find her. She finally called me to let me know she was ok. She was walking around Manhattan trying to come to terms with what was happening. Wondering if her friends were all ok. Unfortunately some did not make it.
I know I will nevcer forget that day and the horror that came with it.
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Everyone needs a good laugh
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Posted:Sep 11, 2007 10:00 pm
Last Updated:Sep 19, 2007 7:50 pm
1199 Views
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A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants
her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were loose and
floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the
bed.
Outraged, she immediately summons the doctor. "I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad
because you went through this all by yourself."
The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had had the
same procedure done some time ago."
And what about the third rose?" she asked. "That's from a man
upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears."[/COLOR
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4
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Pharmocology
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Posted:Sep 11, 2007 9:57 pm
Last Updated:May 16, 2024 6:44 am
1164 Views
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In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be po ssible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
If you don't send this to five old friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world.
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Just Some Humor for the day
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Posted:Sep 11, 2007 9:53 pm
Last Updated:Sep 11, 2007 11:00 pm
1051 Views
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I dialed a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but
Thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the
Beep. If I do not return your call,
You are one of the changes."
~~~~~
Aspire to inspire before you expire. ~~~~~
My wife and I had words,
But I didn't get to use mine.
~~~~~Blessed are those who can give without remembering And take without forgetting.
~~~~~
Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses. ~~~~~
The irony of life is that, by the time
You're old enough to know your way
Around, you're not going anywhere.
~~~~~
God made man before woman so as to give him time to think
Of an answer for her first question.
~~~~~
I was always taught to respect my elders,
But it keeps getting harder to find one.
~~~~~
Every morning is the dawn
of a new error.
~~~~~
The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
For those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us....go ahead and delete this.
For the rest of us.....pass this on.
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My Weekend
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Posted:Sep 9, 2007 1:49 pm
Last Updated:Sep 12, 2007 9:37 am
1487 Views
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Well lets see. I had so many plans for this weekend yes I only did one of the things I was going to do.
I was gonna clean my upstairs, paint 2 rooms and move some furinture. What did I do there? Nothing...I washed laundry but didnt fold it didn't clean the rooms, didnt paint and didnt move furiture. Instead I got up had my coffee chatted with some friends, talked to my ,then talked to my husband for about 4 hours on Saturday.
I finally told him I had to go and took my little one shopping. She hates to shop. We went to Ulta spent some money, then to DSW (got a new pair of Steve Madden) shoes made my day. You know I needed another pair of shoes. Then off to the mall from there. We hit Belk they had some good sales. We walked the mall alittle. Got my little one a pair of shoes with a little heel. Boy was she excited about that. i think she is changing from my little tomboy back to a girlie girl. Well I hope she is anyway. Then we hit the food court for dinner. Thank god I didnt have to go home and cook. After a day of shopping who wants to cook.
We left the mall and on the ride home she says to me "mom that was the best shopping day ever". I think I almost cried. My girls hate to shop. I love to shop and I just can't understand why they don't. I might get a shopping buddy yet out of one of them.
We got home and watched a movie (Just My Luck). That was nice.
Sunday I got up and I was gonna start that cleaning I didn't do Saturday. Well guess what I didn't do it Sunday either. Had my coffe in the morning chatted with friends and then my husband again. Finally I told him I have to go have to get stuff done around here. Well i took a nap turned on the football game, got bored watched Police Academy instead.
Well now there are only a few hours left of my Sunday what shall i do with them? I should clean but what are the chances of that? Probably slim to none I am thinking.
I guess Monday morning I will know if I cleaned or not. I should go and do something productive I guess. Maybe I can start at least by folding laundry.
Well I hope the rest of you had a productive weekend. I am shooting for next weekend to be more productive for me.
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9
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Frenship quotes
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Posted:Sep 6, 2007 6:45 am
Last Updated:Sep 6, 2007 7:00 pm
1344 Views
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OK So I am on a Friendship kick.... Deal with it....
Friendship is held to be the severest test of character. It is easy, we think, to be loyal to family and clan, whose blood is in our own veins. Love between man and woman is founded on the mating instinct and is not free from desire and self seeking. But to have a friend, and to be true under any and all trials, is the mark of a man!
Be courteous with all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appelation.
What service can you be to humanity? How much love can you give? How good a friend can you be? The rewards you will gain by becoming a GIVER will reap for you true peace and a feeling of beautiful wholeness.
An essential ingredient in friendship is humor.
A friend loves at all times.
There is no limitation whatsoever, except those who mentally put themselves in a cage. To realize that you are not confined is to understand who you really are, because there is plenty you can do and be.
Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.
A treasured friendship can replace regret and hatred and heal the old wounds of the mind. Such a friendship can provide sincere help, consolation and encouragement. These can be magic weapons for eliminating grief and anxiety. When your life is free from anxiety and grief, you will find food tasty, sleep restful and recreation enjoyable.'
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To My Interenet Friends
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Posted:Sep 4, 2007 2:31 pm
Last Updated:Sep 6, 2007 4:09 pm
1426 Views
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I came across this today and I thought it was appropreciate considering things that have happened recently.
As the Internet grows and becomes a part of our lives, it brings with it a unique opportunity to meet people we likely would never have met in any other way. And very often, those people we meet on line will become friends. Sometimes, very close friends.
Some of us have really become good friends over the interent. We have become involved in each others lives at times. Some have met in person and enjoyed each others company. Sometimes we may do things that we don't realize effect more than just (YOU).
This is to my friends and they know who they are. If you don't then I have not been a good friend and that will have to change.
I am always here for you all and if you don't know how to get a hold of me let me know.
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6
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Finding Yourself
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Posted:Sep 4, 2007 1:51 pm
Last Updated:Sep 5, 2007 4:38 pm
1338 Views
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I am sure that most of us have been told that the things we don’t like in our are the same things we don’t like in ourselves. We are told that we project our own flaws and issues onto our perceived enemies in an attempt to work them out within ourselves. We stereotype people according to who they hang out with. Birds of a feather flock together. We are even attracted to people like ourselves, with the same flaws.
To carry the concept further, those traits and attributes that we admire in our heroes are within us. Just as with our flaws, we are simply projecting our virtues onto others in an attempt to work them out within ourselves. We are attracted to certain people because they reflect our own aspects back at us.
There is good in everyone sometimes it may take a little longer to find but I am sure it is there. Finding our good traits, we uncover our true potential. We have something to live up to. How much of our inner-struggle, comes from not realizing our gifts? How much comes from realizing our true potential and not living up to it? How much better do we feel about ourselves when we are happy and honest with ourselves? How do others see you? Are they happy to be around you and do they want to spend more time with you?
People tend to judge before others before looking in the mirror. They usually look for the bad in others to make themselves look better. Why is that? The only answer I can come up with here is that they want something the other has. It can be confidence, love, friends, money, happiness etc….
What ever it is we should all look deep into our soles to see what we are lacking in ourselves before judging others.
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3
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A GOOD Woman
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Posted:Sep 2, 2007 6:04 am
Last Updated:Sep 5, 2007 4:45 pm
1334 Views
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I got this from Posey and I just had to use it. It is so true.
this is sooooooooooo cool...
------------------Women------------------------
-------------are like apples------------------
----------on trees. The best ones----
---------are at the top of the tree.--------
--------The men dont want to reach------
------for the good ones because they ------
---are afraid of falling and getting hurt.----
-Instead, they just get the rotten apples-
--from the ground that aren't as good, --
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
--reality, they're amazing. They just----
---have to wait for the right man to------
----- come along, the one who's-----------
----------- brave enough to-----------------
----------------climb all-------------------
----------------the way---------------------
---------------to the top--------------------
---------------of the tree-------------------
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To link to this blog (rm_sassy4u695) use [blog rm_sassy4u695] in your messages.
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