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Chemistry: Combustion or Slow Boil?
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Posted:May 8, 2008 5:09 pm
Last Updated:Sep 3, 2012 1:27 pm
4313 Views
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One of the Additional Questions LesbianPersonals profiles include is "What factors are most important to you when looking for someone?" One of the most common selections I notice members choose is Chemistry.
While it's hard to come to a common definition of just what "chemistry" is; we can probably all agree, at a minimum, chemistry has something to do with the way individuals react to one another.
From what I've heard from others, there seem to be two ways that chemistry reveals itself in actual face-to-face meetings: either the slow boil or combustion.
Sometimes, you meet someone face-to-face and find them to be an affable, compatible, companionable, friendly and attractive individual who's company you find enjoyable. You meet initially and perhaps several subsequent times to savor conversation, coffee, drinks, meals, movies or maybe even some live music. You exchange telephone calls, text messages, IMs and e-mails with some regularity ...and eventually... (perhaps, months or even years later), much to your surprise you finally discover that individual makes a great intimate partner. This is a slow boil type of chemistry.
There are those other times, the minute you meet someone face-to-face, your entire being has an immediate COMBUSTIBLE and lusty reaction, and you find yourself all over one another, with few words exchanged -- off the hook sexual paradise. Then, subsequent to that strictly passionate initial reaction, you discover that you have lots in common and enjoy one another's company, even when you're not experiencing extraordinary sexual satisfaction. This is the combustion type of chemistry.
Some people are heat seeking and swear that they judge "chemistry" based solely on the combustion model, while others will swear the best chemistry can only come from a slow boil. Of course, there are also those amongst us who have experienced chemistry from BOTH perspectives.
Something to ponder...
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Special Friend Cravings
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Posted:Apr 15, 2008 12:25 pm
Last Updated:May 27, 2014 4:55 pm
3986 Views
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There may be times when you find yourself coping with loss, stress and/or the frustration of daily living, and you find yourself craving an intimate connection with a very particular "special friend." And no, I'm not referring to any pathological sexual addiction or stalking type behaviors. I am referring to that human need for physical connection of an intimate and sensual nature with a certain person (and no one else) who sates your spirit and feeds your soul, especially when you are navigating a challenging time.
While I do believe that each individual is ultimately in charge of his or her own state of mental/psychological wellness, I also have observed that there are certain "special friends" who can act as catalysts in helping us restore ourselves to wellness when no other friend will do. "Special friends" seem to provide an almost medicinal balm of a sensual and affectionate nature that can help us move through whatever loss, stress and/or frustration we are navigating.
I find myself contemplating how universal that craving for intimacy with a particular "special friend" (when no other friend will do) is, especially, during times of loss, stress or frustration.
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May-December Sex and Relationships
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Posted:Feb 3, 2008 3:53 pm
Last Updated:Jan 23, 2010 3:52 pm
4243 Views
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Have you ever engaged in sex or a relationship in which there was a significant difference in age?
Yeah, "significance" is quite a subjective judgment. I've been told that relationships should involve pairings of individuals who were both in high school at the same time. That basically makes it acceptable for couples with no more than a 3 year age differential.
But I'm talking here about what is referred to as "May-December" relationships -- ones in which the age differential between the two adults is wide enough to risk social disapproval. The socially acceptable rule of thumb for age differentials in relationships has been purported to be a parter who is no younger than "half your age plus seven years."
Sugar Daddy and Jailbait and MILF and Boy Toy represent a few of the slang terms for pairings in which the age differential is more than that rule of thumb and one individual is much older than the other.
While much older men with younger women has historically been more prevalent, there is an emerging trend of much older women with younger men. In the celebrity world that would be Demi, Cher, Tina Turner and Liz Taylor... just to name a few.
Perhaps, broadening one's horizon to include partners who are "significantly" (yeah, there's that very subjective term again) older or younger has some benefits, especially for women. Perhaps, the age differential creates some great opportunities that otherwise might never be experienced. It's definitely something to ponder.
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First Date Intimacy... Yes or No?
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Posted:Jan 26, 2008 2:11 pm
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2010 2:10 pm
4679 Views
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Have you ever been intimate with someone you met online the very first time you met them in the flesh?
For instance, you meet someone online and engage in intense e-mail and telephone contact. Then, about 12 hours later you find yourselves face-to-face, sharing a meal and great conversation, then kissing, discovering there's that hard to define "chemistry" factor. Finally, not even 18 hours after meeting online you are enjoying one another, intimately.
Is there some minimum requirement on how long you should know someone before sharing sweet intimacies? Does the old saying, "will s/he still respect me in the morning" have any relevance any more?
I don't know any of those answers. But when all is said and done, when sweet opportunities present themselves unexpectedly, all I know is that I would almost always rather say "I wish I hadn't," than say "I wish I had."
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Snacks vs. Feasts
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Posted:Jan 24, 2008 4:06 pm
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2010 2:14 pm
4066 Views
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Have you ever shared intimacy with a partner that basically just functioned as a much needed or overdue physical release; akin to a valve releasing a steam build up? These intimate events are usually characterized as being hot, heavy, and shorter in duration (less than a couple of hours). I affectionately refer to these types of intimate events as snacks for sanity's sake. Snacks are good and necessary, but only act as a very temporary relief in terms of passionate needs and desires. The hunger still persists, only lessened.
In contrast to snacks, there are also feasts, those incredibly rare intimate couplings with lovers who connect with you at a much deeper level - friends that connect and sate you fully in body, mind and spirit... that leave you full and in an orgasmic haze, for days. These kinds of intimate connections are characterized by conflagration - intense infernos that burn as a consuming and purifying fire of passion, lasting for at least 5 to 6 hours, usually more. These events, where the flesh of two join as a single body, mind and spirit reaching heights beyond comprehension -- each lover enjoying a shared crescendo of multiple climaxes, each one more intense than those preceding -- fill both lovers up. Feasts are indescribably delicious, incredible and rare intimate couplings. They result in an authentic release of mutual passionate needs and desires. They completely sate the hunger and thirst for connection on every level for far longer periods of time, and cause you to develop a far more discriminating palate, that desires and actively seeks more intimate feasts -- succumbing to snacks only on an "as needed" basis or as appetizers.
I acknowledge that snacks can save one's sanity, but I have learned that feasts feed one's soul.
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Kissing as the Intimacy Key
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Posted:Jan 17, 2008 6:23 pm
Last Updated:Sep 3, 2012 1:21 pm
4152 Views
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I love to kiss and be kissed by a man who loves to kiss and be kissed. Simply a totally sensual, erotic and satisfying pleasure. After reading and re-reading this insightful blog post about [post 612206], I find myself pre-occupied with memorable kisses and kissers.
The anticipation of warm, wet mouths coupling is incredibly arousing in and of itself. But then, once physical contact is made, a kiss can go from gentle and probing to passionate and penetrating as seconds and minutes roll into hours, cycling through a continuum of intensity waves.
Memorable kisses open the gates to all intimacies, sending eyes rolling back in heads attached to bodies shuddering uncontrollably. Intoxicated and sated by a transcendent kiss, a spiritual body ascends climaxing in ways you could never imagine.
So many men claim they kiss well and love to kiss, but so few actually do. Color yourself lucky when you have the rare occasion to encounter such a man, as I have.
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To link to this blog (sucklemegood) use [blog sucklemegood] in your messages.
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