Enough already!
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Posted:Mar 9, 2015 9:58 pm
Last Updated:Oct 12, 2015 6:05 pm
2206 Views
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Three quarters of all the messages that are sent to me get deleted without opening. Maybe I set my standards a little too high given that this is a sex site but come on, how many cock shots do I really need to see? I can see plenty of all shapes and sizes in real life and they don't impress me much. I don't need to have a barrage of photos dumped into my box with no other message than "hey, baby." All of those messages get an immediate delete! As do any messages that lead with a phone number. If you can't bother to type a few words to make a connection, why would I even be interested in calling you?
Another thing, if you don't bother to read my profile and pretend that you have, your message will get deleted after reading. It's pretty obvious most of the time who bothers to read before they message! This goes for all the married men who troll around trying to find someone to cheat with...sorry I am not going to help you out there. Oh and the smokers....can't stand the smell even if you claim not to have had a cigarette since the day before and have showered etc etc. I can smell it and don't like it! Not into kissing ashtrays.
Believe it or not I do read entire profiles before I respond to messages. Any messages that seems fake, or even suspect, get deleted. Why waste your time and mine? I am old enough to not put up with anyone's bullshit anymore. Honestly I have enough of my own and don't have time for any more. I am not desperate to make a connection but enjoy finding someone who seems to be on my wavelength with whom I can enjoy making a connection.
That all being said, if I respond saying I am not interested, (thank you but no thank you), there isn't any reason for me to give you any sort of explanation as to why I am not interested. Please don't send me another half dozen messages with different approaches because they will all go the way of the trashcan. I won't change my mind.
One last thing, try to keep track of who you have been messaging! If we have been having a conversation that stalls for whatever reason, don't start all over from the beginning as we never connected in the first place. If you can't remember you were messaging me, your next message will find it's way to the trash as well.
Thanks for your consideration....
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Trust and Forgiveness
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Posted:Mar 8, 2015 2:36 pm
Last Updated:Oct 12, 2015 6:05 pm
2351 Views
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I have been struggling with the concepts of trust and forgiveness for the last day or so. Someone who I allowed to hurt me deeply - violating my trust not just once but twice - felt the need to drop me a note to apologize and ask forgiveness. Reading the note, all the anger, hurt and frustration came crashing back down on me as if it had just happened yesterday. I literally felt the same helpless, hopelessness that happened at the time. Spent this morning exploring my feelings to make sure I am not being overly sensitive or over reacting to something that in the overall picture is just trivial. Deciding it was not, I sent a reply that basically said I would forgive by letting go of my anger and desire to hurt back but that I would in no way forget the act that hurt me nor would I deny the other person's responsibility for hurting me or minimize the wrong done. We can never again be friends period. What I didn't say is that it has affected my ability to trust anyone beyond a certain degree and my bullshit meter has a very low threshold now.
The difficult part for me is to not turn hard and cold, to not shut my heart completely to anyone who tries to get close when that is exactly what I want to do to avoid getting hurt again by someone close to me.
Something I wrote during my thought process....
BETRAYAL
The wound was almost healed
Just oozing slightly
Tho still tender to touch
Then your inconsiderate need
To ask for forgiveness
To assuage your own guilt
Ripped off the scab
So now the pain flows freely again
Like blood from a fresh deep cut
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Beginning
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Posted:Mar 8, 2015 12:55 am
Last Updated:Aug 28, 2015 10:46 pm
2527 Views
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So I have never been one to be able to sustain any sort of diary or log of any kind but now with so many people dumping their thoughts into type via the internet, I thought I may do so as well. Maybe typing would be easier than pen to paper.
I have been a member of LesbianPersonals for quite some time, on both coasts, under a couple of different profiles, and have had varied experiences on both sides. I find the people, both men and women, here on the west coast to be much more artificial, superficial, self- absorbed, petty and monetarily driven. On the east coast, people are more open, transparent, able to speak their minds without being offensive, and frankly, friendly. What drives this difference I cannot say, but I do know that I have been disappointed here on the west coast on many levels. There is not the social connection here (and I do mean via this specific site as well as specifically on the west coast) that seems to occur on the east. Most people seem to relate via work more so than basic friendship and have few friends or acquaintances beyond their occupational demographic. I like to get to know people of all kinds, in all occupations, and on whatever level seems to strike a cord. I can be as comfortable wiping the tears of a 2yo who lost mommy to chatting with the multi pierced barista about her college aspirations while she blends my drink, to giving that drink to the homeless guy on the corner along with a couple bucks, to helping the tatooed biker pin up the rip in the ass of his pants, to commiserating with an old man who can't ambulate without the assistance of a walker or cane. We are all human beings who deserve each others' kindness and respect. That seems to be lost here with everyone closed in their own vehicles rushing to get down the crowded highway or shoving their way thru the masses along the street avoiding any sort of eye contact.
I consider myself a fun loving, open, friendly woman who loves sex but doesn't think my world revolves around having a sexual partner. Honestly, sometimes my self gratification is much more pleasurable than the fumblings of an inept, nervous male who doesn't seem to know the general anatomy of the female form let alone his own lack of sexual prowess. At my age, with a partner at or near said age, I don't think I should need to give instructions, visual aids or manual guidance to achieve mutual pleasure. Yes, I do think the fine tuning may need assistance, but the general idea of what goes where and what feels good should be in the knowledge database. Am I wrong?
Your comments and musings are welcome but if all you can do is be an asshole and leave derogatory rudeness, don't bother as your bullshit will be deleted....
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