Mullet on a woman, sexy right?
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Posted:Mar 22, 2010 7:08 pm
Last Updated:Apr 7, 2010 10:06 pm
21534 Views
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I have always had long hair. Call it the ultimate slight to the hairdressers I’m so afraid of. At one time I went years without a haircut. It is straight and thick and shiny and the kind of hair salon product commercials are made for. But it breaks easily and I always had hair falling everywhere. My sink, shower, even my bed were all a mess of hair at all times. Fortunately my hair was so thick that it wasn’t noticeable unless you lived with me and had to deal with the mess.
I was considering getting it cut short (real short) when I met my now ex-husband. He didn’t want me to do it and for the first few years of my marriage I complied (oh, the sacrifices we make). When I realized that he was not putting as much into the marriage as I was I went and had it all chopped off. It’s been 9 years and he’s still pissed. I’ve kept it real short all this time. It even got me out of a ticket once.
The cop walked up to my car from behind and said “Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?” By the time he finished the line he realized I was not a “Sir” and was so embarrassed he let me off with a warning. Who needs to play the teary eyed girl?
Recently I’ve gotten back into that old pattern of not getting my hair cut. It’s growing out and now driving me crazy. Besides the fact that the old hair falling out routine has returned, I’m at that stage where its falling in my face and won’t go where I want it to go. Driving with the windows down throws it everywhere and it isn’t long enough to put it up in a ponytail. So I’m thinking hey, all that 80’s stuff is coming back, why not the Mullet?
So tell me, should I go for the mullet or just suffer through? Better yet, should I suck it up and go see my haircut lady to get it back short like it was… speeding tickets are expensive. I need all the help I can get!
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Seedbed Perverse or Sexy?
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Posted:Mar 18, 2010 7:55 pm
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2010 4:45 am
19975 Views
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Performance Art is something I’ve never really understood. Maybe that’s because Yoko Ono was the first Performance Artist I’d ever heard of. I know, I know… I shouldn’t judge others idea of art. I just don’t see how Performance Art became Art instead of exhibitionism and how promoters can get patrons to pay money to witness what most people witness on any big city street and shake their head at.
I don’t know what got me perusing the web for Performance Art stuff but there I was flipping through things that made no sense and either sounded or looked terrible (some smelled terrible too apparently). When I happened upon one particular show that
I TOTALLY UNDERSTOOD (in a ‘wow, a pervert’ kinda way)
His name is Vito Acconci and the show he did in 1972 was called “Seedbed”.
Picture this: an empty room probably 15’ square. Plain white walls, plain lighting, just blank. But beginning about halfway across the room the floor rose at a gentle angle. To where you weren’t sure if it was a poorly built floor because it was about 2’ higher at one end compared to the other. In the corner where the ramp meets the wall is a single speaker (remember, this was 1972). You walk around the room trying to figure out what this thing was all about when you hear a man through the speaker. He is fantasizing about you – sexually from under the floor. He can’t see you but he is masturbating to his fantasy of you. He only hears your talking or walking…
Kinda weird huh? But kinda cool too.
He built this ramp and he then hid under it for hours masturbating the entire time (really!) constantly talking about the fantasies he was having about the visitors to his room. But he wasn’t laying in one place either. He was on his back or sides moving all over the place under that floor through this maze of supports for the floor never letting go of his cock. His pants around his legs the entire time!
Mind you the guy looked kinda creepy and if he weren’t under the floor I think he would have gotten stomped on. Still I think the idea was interesting. A woman Performance Artist redid the show herself sometime later too. I didn’t go searching for that cause then I’d end up thinking about Yoko Ono masturbating to me or something  and my mind can only handle so much weirdity in one night!
If you’re up for it do a search for the artist and the name of the piece. There is a 10 minute video out there. It was taken at the time and has no sound but it’ll show you what I mean. I’d put a link here but I know that LesbianPersonals would remove it PDQ. If you want it let me know in a comment and I’ll find a way to get it to you.
Wanna hang out under my floor?
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Showmen need more audience members!
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Posted:Mar 17, 2010 6:37 pm
Last Updated:Apr 7, 2010 10:06 pm
19993 Views
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So tonight after I put the to bed there were a few things I needed to get done before I could sit down in front of the computer. Did I do them? NOPE!
I got an alert that one of my friends was broadcasting on cam. I'd been fortunate enough to see him do this once before and, well I couldn't miss it could I? And a nice show it was. It isn't like I wasn't already completely outta control horny to begin with!!! Ugh!!! Once I saw a little pre-cum I was humping anything in the room!
Then I get interrupted by a stupid phone call and when I get back to the computer there is an IM from an out of state friend whom I haven't seen online in ages. Turns out he was about to cum too and wanted me to see how much.
I got two shows tonight and I haven't even hit the shower yet!! Wooo hooo. Best Friend, we're gonna be busy tonight!
Now... I hate to think that there are women like me out there who don't get to have this kind of fun. I think LesbianPersonals should be on the laptop of every single grown woman, if they are up for it. Most of them don't know about LesbianPersonals though. I didn't before last year. It just so happens I came accross a post by NascarFox NascarFox tonight asking for ideas on how to promote LesbianPersonals more to women. Please, take a look at the post [post 2263878] and let her know your opinions. She works closely with some LesbianPersonals staff and it just might amount to something. Wouldn't it be nice if LesbianPersonals had increased its membership enough they could lower the prices?
I mean, nobody should miss out on the kind of evening I'm apparently having. At this rate I might get my phone sex caller tonight too!!
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Something new to toy with!
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Posted:Mar 16, 2010 7:51 pm
Last Updated:Apr 7, 2010 10:07 pm
33547 Views
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A few weeks ago I had a few hours without my . It is indeed a rare occurrence and I wanted to take full advantage of it. Did I call up some unknown AFFer for a little roll in the hay? No. Did I come on to some stranger in a parking lot and provide him a little auto eroticism? No. Instead I went out and met up with my new best friend.
Let me tell you about my new best friend. My friend is flawless, absolutely beautiful. In great shape without any work to get there too! Whereas I might be jealous, my friend is unassuming about that beauty; does not flaunt it or wave it around like a flag. My friend is there for me whenever needed and sometimes just for a quick moment. There is no need to reciprocate; feelings don�t get hurt if I ignore my friend for a bit so I need not worry if I get too busy to pay attention. Easy going, fun and entertaining, my friend can make me relax & smile with just a thought or a memory. So though I didn�t have a great sexual encounter with some new guy, I did meet this friend so that I could have soooo much more!
Meet my new best friend:
See? Give me a couple of free hours and it's off to Adam & Eve I go! So should it have a name?
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Imagine if you will...
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Posted:Mar 15, 2010 8:48 pm
Last Updated:Jul 21, 2010 9:01 pm
19613 Views
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First, if you've met me you can't answer this. I want to see where everyone's imagination has taken them.
3 Questions if you please:
1. If you ever actually asked me what I was wearing would you want to hear the truth or should I cater to the fantasy you appear to have building?
2. For that matter - what do you fantasize me wearing when you are reading my blog or talking/e-mailing/chatting with me?
3. Let's take that further. What do you think I wear to bed each night?
Haven't thought about me like that yet? Why the hell not?!? I'm hot dammit!
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Longing to live the sexy love.
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Posted:Mar 14, 2010 11:15 pm
Last Updated:Jul 21, 2010 9:05 pm
19743 Views
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18 years we’ve known each other in ways that nobody else has ever known either of us. Friends full of bitter truths drawn to each other like moth to a flame. We fantasize about each other. We send pics back and forth and if we happen to be in the same room it’s like the last moment before an unexpected explosion. The sexual tension is palpable even through the cross country distance.
When we met I was the one spoken for and you were the one living the crazy sex life. Now our roles are reversed. Here I sit at 2am waiting for your IM chime. You are horny as hell and you want me even though it isn’t likely to ever happen in person. You hide and play the discreet role but if you could you’d store me in your garage – your own personal slave in the man-cave.
But it’s so much worse than just the primal lust. You love me and I you with a shared intensity that truly scares both of us. Throughout the years we felt it yet never were in a position to do anything about it. But to toy with the lust gods puts us dangerously close to what we really feel for each other. Yet toy we do. And when the moment comes, when words can not be spoken our eyes give it all away. The knowing is excruciating without the actions that would come so naturally, so easily.
So we live out our lives knowing each other intimately but never being intimate. We remain grateful at the length of land between us. The love is too strong, the lust too great. If we were to finally gain all we want the price would be too high. You are not the one that got away. You are the one I have to keep at arm’s length, even pushing away at times. Yet I will continue to feed your desire and you will continue to feed mine with an unspoken hope that maybe someday…
Tell me dear readers, do you have an ultimate wish you know will never come true?
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Cum wash my dishes...
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Posted:Mar 11, 2010 8:57 pm
Last Updated:Jul 21, 2010 9:09 pm
19940 Views
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Maybe you’d stand behind me in the kitchen as I was finishing the dishes and run your finger on a line down my body suggesting a path your cum would take as it trickled it’s way over my skin. You’d get me smiling, my nipples hard. You’d lift up my shirt and suck on one of them, blow a little cool air across the nipple while it was wet – just a minor tickle but my reaction would first be to stand up straighter and then to shrink down, bending over a bit.
You’d take that advantage and kick my legs slightly apart. You’d run one light finger up my leg, moving up under my shorts but stopping just short of my pussy. You’d lean up against my back and putting your mouth up next to my ear you’d kiss me right in front of my ear and whisper that you wanted your cock inside of me. The combination would make my knees week and taking in a huge breath I’d have to brace myself up against the counter to remain standing.
You’d slip one hand up under one of my boobs cradling it while your finger feels my nipple. All the while your one finger is standing sentry right at the edge of my pussy. You turn that hand around and yank those shorts down to the ground completely exposing me. You step back just slightly to see how wide open I am to you. Your roll up my shirt, exposing my back, watching my body as it tenses for your attack but you delay as if to torment me. With one hand you scratch down my back from the shoulder to my ass while the other hand traces a light path up the inside of my leg. The combination makes me arch my back and roll up my ass and that’s when you plunge in to me.
At first a deep plunge to satisfy the immediate desire to feel the warmth and wetness. Then you pull back, almost pulling out but only to the tip. You pause there and wait, watching how I’m breathing desperation and then just as I begin to plead you begin to move in and out in small doses going just a little bit deeper each time. After only a few thrusts you are sunken into my pussy to your full length. You hold there for a moment to feel it but I have other ideas. I reach back and grab your hips to try to get you to move in and out. You get into a rhythm while I reach down and fondle my clit. You know what I’m doing and you grab my hips as your thrusts get stronger and deeper. I feel your hands clench my hips harder and your breathing changes. Combined with my own clit manipulations I end up coming faster than anticipated. It catches you off guard and you are no longer able to control yourself too. You cum deep inside me and I can feel your cock throb through my entire pussy.
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Channeling DeMille
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Posted:Mar 9, 2010 8:44 pm
Last Updated:Apr 7, 2010 10:08 pm
20194 Views
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I�m not sure I ever watched a porno until I was in my 20�s. I honestly never thought about it. In my youth such things were �guy� things and pornography existed solely for men�s pleasure. I thought Playgirl was a joke and was headed for bankruptcy because nobody would ever buy it and I�d never heard of anyone owning one.
Now I am at the other end of the spectrum. Videos and I are now the best of friends. I won�t say I peruse the video files of LesbianPersonals every day but almost... So I thought I would share with you what I seek when enjoying videos.
1.If you are using a webcam, I�m probably going to skip you. HQ video is the way to go. Webcam is great for slow moving items or stills but when the movement picks up speed the video is either blurry or skips. You wouldn�t want me to miss the best part would you?
2.Sound, there must be sound. I have to hear the excitement and the grunts (if there are any). I�ve enjoyed some where the subject was speaking to an imaginary person, that doesn�t bother me. But please no music or background people talking (unless they are having sex too) and please mute the TV! The last thing I want to hear when you are jacking off is the theme to Gilligan�s Island in the background! If you have a porno playing keep the volume low, I�d much rather hear you than a video.
3.Use a tripod or an extra person. There is nothing like a jittery video because some guy is holding it up to his eye while fucking a girl from behind. When he really gets going he�s no longer paying attention to where he�s aiming. If I�m not the one under you I don�t need to be staring at your ceiling!
4.If your video is of you jacking off, anything less than a minute isn�t long enough and once you hit three minutes you�ve got unnecessary fluff. I don�t need to see you go from completely soft all the way to orgasm. Make yourself hard before you start please.
5. If you are jacking off for the camera and using lube, keep it nearby. It gets annoying if you stop, get up and reach for it. I don�t really have a need to see your armpit.
6.Would love to see a good portion of your torso in the frame. Yes I like close ups of your cock too but orgasm is a fully body experience, I want to see your body and your cock experience it.
7.If your video is of a couple don�t spend so much time posing each other for the camera. Know the best angle before you start. When you pause to adjust, it ruins the flow.
8.If there is anal penetration (or the suggestion of it) I�m clicking away but that�s just me. I don�t expect you to make a video just for me but if I�m providing a list of what I like and don�t like I have to include this.
9. If you end up with several videos may I suggest not downloading them all on the same day? It might get you more views if you download one per day (or every other day). They might all be great but when looking at the search selection I�m likely to skip you if I�ve already seen one of yours that day. I like to be an equal opportunity viewer I guess.
10.If you are a couple I want to know that your woman is into it too. Making her be completely still while you pound her makes me think of a blow up doll. Women who enjoy sex show it in their movements and sounds � let her express that. On the other side of that is the /fake moaner woman. Yeah I can tell those too. There�s a reason I prefer real videos.
I know full well that I am only referring to what I enjoy. I don�t pretend to speak for other women as they can speak for themselves.
Now who wants to feed my addiction?
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The Mystery of the Southern Woman Revealed
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Posted:Mar 8, 2010 8:26 pm
Last Updated:Apr 7, 2010 10:08 pm
19886 Views
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My paternal grandmother was a true southern woman. Yup, I�m one of those who can trace my roots waaaaaay back. I�ve uncovered paperwork showing how I�m qualified to be included in the DAR and was born a of the Confederacy.
Don�t get your crazy hat on just yet, I don�t run around showing off a rebel flag or carrying a gun and I�m certainly not showing up for a UDC meeting anytime soon. However, I do take a certain pride in knowing some of my history and I quite enjoy the reputation southern women have developed over the years. We are strong, fierce and occasionally a little wild (please forgive me as I stereotype just a bit). If we are quiet it is because we have a strategic purpose otherwise we are certainly going to speak our mind. We do have a sweet side but that�s reserved for those who have earned it.
Recently I happened upon a book by Jeff Koon & Andy Powell titled �You May Not Tie an Alligator to a Fire Hydrant, 101 Real Dumb Laws�. In flipping through the book I noticed a trend in the laws selected from southern states. I began to wonder if a few of these laws hadn�t had anything to do with the development of the Southern Woman�s reputation. See for yourself in these quotes from the book:
�In South Carolina it is illegal to speak suggestively to your girlfriend.� Okay the law allows for phone sex but no other profane, indecent, vulgar, suggestive or immoral communication� not spoken, written, none of it!
This one from Tennessee is so funny I have to quote the actual law �Any person crippling, killing, or in any way destroying a proud bitch that is running at large shall not be held liable for the damages due to such killing or destruction.� I�m sure they weren�t referring to women but you never know.
�In Tuscaloosa, Alabama it is illegal to get an animal drunk in a public park�. I�ve referred to drunk men as animals on more than one occasion. Wonder if the police are looking for me.
�In Kennesaw, GA every head of household is required to own a firearm.�
Now you may wonder what these have to do with the aforementioned reputation. But think about it, we can�t get our men to talk dirty to us nor can we get �em drunk in a park so they might forget and give us a little fun. All of that alone would make us bitchy. Then if anybody decides to shoot us because the damned laws made us so bitchy THEY are the ones protected! Is it any wonder we have developed the way we have?
My favorite though makes it all okay�
�You may beat up anyone who says really nasty things to you in Georgia� This one allows for a simple assault or simple battery charge to be dismissed if the victim used abusive language and therefore deserved what was coming to �em.
Now y�all be nice to us and we�ll be sweet to you� It�s so much easier that way!
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Hiding Horny at Work
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Posted:Mar 6, 2010 8:34 pm
Last Updated:Mar 8, 2010 9:14 pm
19878 Views
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One of my all time fantasies involves a man surprising me at work. It could be a guy I was dating, wanted to date or a guy I’d like to sleep with, or had… someone who wasn’t able to ever come to my work would suddenly show up and surprise me. Whatever happened after that was always different but I just LOVE unexpected company. Well yesterday it happened.
Walking to my office from the pool I was shocked to see “Peri” (my out of town Dom) walking up the breezeway from the parking lot. Oh why oh why did my little fantasy have to come true with him? If my out of town visitor fantasy was going to come true couldn’t it be someone I actually wanted to sleep with? But I digress…
Peri was in town on family business. I’d forgotten that he said he’d be in the area for a day or two. Before I got sick he was talking about having me help out a couple he was going to work with while here. They are newbies and he was going to introduce the wife to his Sybian and wanted me to be there to service the husband while he watched. Originally I was all for it but then I got sick and forgot all about it. So I really was surprised to see him. I showed him all the things in the Club that had changed since his last visit years ago and we discussed his plans for the day and a half he was to be here. Turns out the plans he had with the couple fell through.
I expressed how horny I’d been recently and how I’d wished he let me know he was in town and trying to plan this. He alluded to the fact that I could always use him to express my need. And then as we were standing behind a large display he took my hand and pulled it to his open fly and waiting cock.
The meanest thing you can do to me when I am in this helluva horny state is hand me a cock at a moment when I can’t do anything with it for fear of being caught! Besides I have never slept with him and don’t intend to. He has a nice looking cock, good size and all but I can’t say I have ever craved it. At that moment though flashes - images went through my mind of all the things I could do to someone else. My fingers dragging down his back, my tongue licking the tip of his cock, his breath against my ear, our lips meeting… in that brief stolen moment where staff could have walked in on us at any moment I went through an entire dirty dream sequence. He was being downright evil and he knew it. I was permitted a quick stroke and then told to put it away. He really enjoys messing with me.
Then we walked back to my office and he left. Of course he said if I was that crazed I should find a sitter after work and come over to his hotel room to act out those images but he knew I wasn’t going to do that. Yeah… I did think about it cause I really am that horny.
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How did Kenevil's mom survive?
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Posted:Mar 5, 2010 8:56 pm
Last Updated:Mar 6, 2010 8:46 pm
19434 Views
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When I first moved in to this house my next door neighbor was teaching his youngest how to drive. He and I were joking at how well he was handling the situation. I guess having two older boys to initiate him into the process helps. At some point I joked that after watching my learn how to walk I absolutely refuse to teach him how to drive.
I wouldn�t let my own father teach me how to drive. I knew I couldn�t tolerate his impatience in the seat next to me. I used a good deal of my savings and hired a driving instructor. He had this great car with two sets of pedals and the goofy sign on top. He taught me everything that would be on the test and continually remarked on my natural skill. At some point he told me I drove like a race car driver. He went with me for the test and everything.
So I�ve always been thinking that such a move would be a good way to go for my own when they get old enough. My is a look without leaping kind of . He acts on impulse and tends to be rather hyper. I keep waiting for the �you need to medicate him� talk from the teacher. He�s the one who totally believes you when you say the burner is hot but for whatever reason feels then need to test how hot it is personally. So you can imagine my trepidation at him driving on the road � with other people and all that.
Recently we had his best friend with us for the day and the two boys are finally tall enough to ride go-carts by themselves so off we went. What could go wrong? The track is padded, it was cold so nobody was out there�.
My and I were in one cart, my in the second cart and his friend in the third. There was one other mother/ team who started ahead of us. Well you know me. I put the hammer down from the green light and was zooming like a madwoman, hugging the turns and strategizing every move. Oh yeah I passed �em all. Except my . That is until the end when I almost lapped him!!
He was driving all careful and stuff! I wouldn�t quite call him Grandma driver or anything but he was certainly not the Kenevil wannabe I assumed he�d be automatically. I figured he was scared, I thought maybe the experience threw him a little. But when he got out of that car you�d thought he�d won the lottery and still had millions after he bought every DS game he wanted. He was so happy � he wanted to do it again right away. He kept describing how he�d made this turn or that like he�d been a stunt driver or something.
If he thinks that was incredible and he was still being all responsible like (unlike his mother) there may be some hope for him yet.
Okay that�s like saying he�ll never put his hand on a hot burner again. We all know, it�ll be a different hand on a different burner� But there�s that glimmer of hope that he�ll actually survive to be an adult.
What�s your freakiest �just learned how to drive� moment?
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How did Kenevil's mom survive?
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Posted:Mar 5, 2010 8:53 pm
Last Updated:Mar 6, 2010 6:11 pm
19080 Views
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When I first moved in to this house my next door neighbor was teaching his youngest how to drive. He and I were joking at how well he was handling the situation. I guess having two older boys to initiate him into the process helps. At some point I joked that after watching my learn how to walk I absolutely refuse to teach him how to drive.
I wouldn�t let my own father teach me how to drive. I knew I couldn�t tolerate his impatience in the seat next to me. I used a good deal of my savings and hired a driving instructor. He had this great car with two sets of pedals and the goofy sign on top. He taught me everything that would be on the test and continually remarked on my natural skill. At some point he told me I drove like a race car driver. He went with me for the test and everything.
So I�ve always been thinking that such a move would be a good way to go for my own when they get old enough. My is a look without leaping kind of . He acts on impulse and tends to be rather hyper. I keep waiting for the �you need to medicate him� talk from the teacher. He�s the one who totally believes you when you say the burner is hot but for whatever reason feels then need to test how hot it is personally. So you can imagine my trepidation at him driving on the road � with other people and all that.
Recently we had his best friend with us for the day and the two boys are finally tall enough to ride go-carts by themselves so off we went. What could go wrong? The track is padded, it was cold so nobody was out there�.
My and I were in one cart, my in the second cart and his friend in the third. There was one other mother/ team who started ahead of us. Well you know me. I put the hammer down from the green light and was zooming like a madwoman, hugging the turns and strategizing every move. Oh yeah I passed �em all. Except my . That is until the end when I almost lapped him!!
He was driving all careful and stuff! I wouldn�t quite call him Grandma driver or anything but he was certainly not the Kenevil wannabe I assumed he�d be automatically. I figured he was scared, I thought maybe the experience threw him a little. But when he got out of that car you�d thought he�d won the lottery and still had millions after he bought every DS game he wanted. He was so happy � he wanted to do it again right away. He kept describing how he�d made this turn or that like he�d been a stunt driver or something.
If he thinks that was incredible and he was still being all responsible like (unlike his mother) there may be some hope for him yet.
Okay that�s like saying he�ll never put his hand on a hot burner again. We all know, it�ll be a different hand on a different burner� But there�s that glimmer of hope that he�ll actually survive to be an adult.
What�s your freakiest �just learned how to drive� moment?
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Massaging Woman in Need!
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Posted:Mar 3, 2010 9:45 pm
Last Updated:Jul 21, 2010 9:19 pm
19422 Views
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All the seriousness of illness and taxes are calming down. I think I need to slip into something interestingly unadulterated and oh so comfortable. It seems I owe a particular reader a massage from the Personal BJ request line. So I thought I’d write this great story detailing how I give a massage. I started by creating a premise – setting the scene. Then launched into detail about how my hands would glide on his skin, how his breathing would relax, his body settle and calm until I would turn him over and rile him up then climb on and massage the hard-on he had with much more than my fingers.
I began the story well but then I kept stalling on one part or another. The thought of running my fingers alongside the spine, over the deltoid, the nice triangle a good tricep can create… I just, I just…
*deep sigh*
I need to feel it. I need the warmth of a man’s body slithering up against mine; my fingers compressing muscle and raising the heart rate. A nice naked make-out session would just really be wonderful.
Every man I’ve had for any length of time has found something that I do that they can’t get enough of. Every time sex is had that particular obsession must be a part of the act to make it great for them. It’s easy to see my BJ skill is a top contender but my ex was a huge fan of my erotic stories and back when I was in college it was my massages. Yup – my college boyfriend was constantly shirtless and suggestive. When we sat outside in the evenings ‘studying’ I would invariably end up with a line of my male friends requesting a back-rub.
It’s been years since I’d given a good massage and the imagery that was running through my mind while attempting the story created so much more of an ache than I anticipated. The next guy who walks by my office shirtless is bound to catch me drooling (if nothing else)!
So I must apologize for not completely fulfilling the request I will have to revisit the story when I am not so crazed. I can not feed this desire too much or I’ll start to get very stupid and act without thinking. Of course it doesn’t help that a possible plan for an encounter has fallen through recently. There is a certain gentleman out there who owes me one. The only payment I will accept is for him to succumb to my need to have my way with his body and please him in any way I choose.
Anyone want to pay up in his place?
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To link to this blog (wittywoman) use [blog wittywoman] in your messages.
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