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Holiday observations
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Holiday observations I am back at school after almost an entire week back home. Don’t get me wrong, family in general and my family in particular is wonderful. Still, there were times when I needed to get away from all of them. What is it about family that makes you miss them when you’re away but makes you wonder what it is exactly that you miss? Maybe if you’re older and go back to your parents’ house they will treat you like an adult. I’m 19, technically an adult, but hardly the self-supporting kind. I work while I go to school but mom and dad refilling my debit card every first of the month is a necessity. I understand that with their support, I need to do my part and play the grateful . That means helping out around the house especially since we were hosting 23 people for the holiday, and not give them too much grief when they look at me strangely when I make a comment that probably should have been left unsaid, or ask for the car keys at 11 pm so I could go out and meet friends. I just wish that at this point of my life, they would treat me like an adult and while I do want them to be part of my life, how do I tell them that I no longer need them to dominate it? Mom is a great cook and mine was mainly to stay out of her way until her sister, my aunt, arrived. The two of them could feed an army without breaking a sweat. They are organized and experienced ever since ours became the home that hosted every major holiday. In addition to my parents, and me there were my two brothers and my sister. One brother had his fiancé as well. All four grandparents, three aunts, three uncles, and six cousins, all of which were under 15 were also there. I was in no person’s land; too old to hang out with the “”, in my mind anyway, and too young, in the “adult’s” mind, to hang out with them. Thank God, there wasn’t a kiddies table. That would have been a blow to my ego, the kind from which you don’t bounce back. The meal itself was outstanding and while I ate more than I should have, I assure you that I paid the price for my gluttony. The company was great as well; all four grandparents and two uncles slipped me money surreptitiously but that’s not why I say it was fun. We always have a lot of fun when the family meets and this was no exception. We laugh, cry, eat, drink, dance and sing. The food and wine never stops and while at times the jokes and stories get old and stale, it’s nice to know that we all share a history. The next day I met friends from town that I haven’t seen since late August when I went back to school. We had breakfast then went our separate ways. For some reason I assumed we were going to hang out all day, but each made other plans. No problem, I mean I can keep myself busy. Granted, finding stuff to do in Enfield, CT, is a bit more difficult that finding stuff to do in New York, but I managed. Saturday was a waste of a day. Had I known it was going to be so, I would have gone back to the City then rather than wait until Sunday. Everyone was in a cranky mood. I’m not insecure to think I was the cause of the atmosphere. My brother and his fiancé left for Boston in the mid afternoon and that seemed to ease some tension. I tried talking to my mom but I knew what she was thinking. My guess is that she was not happy with the sleeping arrangements that they more or less mandated. Honestly, I think it’s kind of silly that they were told not to sleep in the same room and the only reason why my mom acquiesced was they threatened to stay at a hotel. She knows they live together, and have since college but it is their house so we need to respect that, I suppose. I had lots of sex in my parents’ house. Granted they weren’t aware of it and no one ever stayed over, so it’s obviously different. The train ride home was ok, we were delayed outside of New Haven for a few minutes, but after that, the sailing was clear. I got into NYC around 1 PM and back to my apartment 30 minutes later. My roommate hadn’t come back yet and won’t be here until later this evening. She lives in New Jersey and I’m sure her dad will drive her back. We will have a quiet dinner and then make love all night. If it’s anything like it was Tuesday night, our last night together before going home for the holiday, we will have another sleepless night. |
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2/4/2010 11:28 am |
Im not quite sure of your nationality, but hell that sounds exactly how our hoildays went, thats an old fashioned italian holiday.... Be safe., Sonny
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In the end, it doesn't matter when your parents start seeing you as an adult, but rather when you start seeing yourself as one. At that point, it won't matter to you as much what they think. Which is, ironically, also the moment they'll begin treating you like an adult. In more concrete terms, after you're fully supporting yourself. It's difficult to feel fully realized as an adult until you no longer require the care, financial or otherwise, of your parents. (It's not a bad thing, nor a reflection of your maturity, it's just a rite of passage in our modern society and economy.)
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I have 2 older sisters both of which are grandmothers but when I'm with either one of them I'm still the baby of the family.n Until my mother passed away she still called me her "baby boy" even tho I was in my 40's. I gues in some of your family's eyes you always will be a kid. John
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Yes, Connecticut is boring, but remember that you're only in college for a few years and it goes by fast. Winter and summer breaks and holidays are the time you can see your family, your friends back home and enjoy it. After you graduate, you end up going off to who knows where and so does everyone back home, so even if it seems a little boring, enjoy what you can.
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