Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
If the email is registered with our site, you will receive an email with instructions to reset your password. Password reset link sent to:
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service
Forgot password?
Blogs > echodivy > My Blog

Again  

echodivy 31F
Ask me for a photo
35 posts
6/5/2015 10:15 pm
Again

Well. Here we are again. It has been six months from my last confession. Not truly. But of the same nature, yes. Here we are, talking to cyber space. Waiting for the suicide hotline to respond to me.

My cheeks, my neck, and even now my boobs are covered in mascara. My face is hot, and surely red. I have cried so much today, that I keep throwing up. My throat, my nose, and my face are so sore.

I hate this stage. It happens everytime. Completely irrational, suicidal, hot mess madness. Then this stupid calm, where I feel like I can actually make a come back. But its false. Dont listen to the calm. It lies. I think it comes from exhaustion.

But its scary, because the itty bitty irrational part of my brain says- pfft. Youre fine now, it was just a tiny phase. Move on, do your thing. And its not true. It might not be tomorrow, or even this week. But sometime, after the calm. It all goes to hell. And im not doing that again.

Last time I talked to the suicide hotline was six months ago, after I broke up with my boyfriend. I couldnt even tell you what triggered it this time. I just have a fucked up brain. Hooray.

Incapacitating. Crying until your throat feels like it has collapsed. Your body heaving, tears literally streaming down your face. Stripping everything off, because you feel like you are on fire. And then, calm.

Too much stress. Too much of everything. Where do I even go from here?

fml

Pleisurezmine 63M
1820 posts
6/5/2015 11:39 pm

 Breathe and be well....enjoy Mike


s2ndegree 65M
9800 posts
6/6/2015 12:14 am

 The answer is quite simple really!GET THE HELL OFF OF THIS HEAD INJURY MENTALITY SITE(this isn't in reference to you ashman 424.I've read you and you seem together) AND ENJOY YOUR YOUTH!!!!!!!

22 really?You have so much more to experience(good)in life keep the faith!Oh and say two Our fathers and four Hail marys!
Using more than all the road!


genghiskhan1985 39M
23 posts
6/6/2015 10:21 am

 And you know.... You always have friends. They will be there for you and listen until the end. You can mail them, or they are still roaming in the chatrooms.
We'll always be there for you if you need us, little one. Always been, always will.
Your friend,
Geng the revolving door repairman


SingleItalianGy2 52M
1205 posts
6/7/2015 5:55 pm

 <<< Kicks stupid A.F.F for eating my post.....first and foremost

Echo,

It sucks reading this and I hope things do get better for you. I cant imagine the mental anguish that your going through and as a friend it sucks that I/We can't reach out to help you when you need it. If there is anything I can do please contact me and I will do what ever I can to help. Sending Prayers and Big Hugs your way and wishing you well.

Luv Ya


Become a member to create a blog