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| Blogs > VenusRedux2 > Conversing with the Divine |
Handle Initial Rejection Like a Boss (part 2)
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Handle Initial Rejection Like a Boss (part 2) Part 2 of [unknown] in my series about why it takes so many attempts to get women to meet, and how you should handle it. The whole subject matter keeps growing every time I sit down with it. Why she is rejecting those early requests in the first place: It’s simply not that easy to get up and meet Timing is everything. People lead busy and complicated lives. It’s just not easy to find the right time and the right place … especially if one or both parties have who still live at home. Also, a lot of you guys live some crazy distances away that you keep insisting is “close.” The farther away you live, the more of an issue this will be. Things escalated very quickly, almost out of control She’s worried about how that translates in person. This can go to either extreme. She might be worried it will continue to spiral out of control and she’ll do something she later regrets. Or she might be worried that the reality can’t live up to the fantasy, which will put her in an awkward spot. She’s talking a good game online because she was never expecting to actually go through with it Don’t judge her for this, men do it just as much. You just never know what’s going in people’s heads. Regardless of anyone’s intentions initially, nobody passes up a good thing when it falls into their lap. Just give her time to realize that. Sometimes people just aren’t ready yet. But that doesn’t have to stay like that forever. Just give her time. Sex brings up issues It just does. For everyone. I’ve said this before, but sex isn’t like square dancing. You can’t just do it with just anyone and pretend it means nothing. Especially for women, when you have sex with someone, when you allow them literally inside your body, you give them a piece of your soul. And a lot of these issues don’t rise to the surface until things start getting real. In all cases, the best move is to be understanding, take it in stride, and don’t make a big deal out of it. It is an exceedingly rare thing to have someone meet up on the first attempt. Every one of these issues gets resolved by slowing down and letting things progress at a comfortable pace. Best ways to eventually get her to agree to meet: Take sex off the table … and not on the floor either The prospect of sex on a first meet frequently results in ghosting. The reason it is typically suggested is that you're both talking hot and heavy and it sure seems as if she is open to the idea and wants it. In fact, she my actually be saying she is. Even if she is signaling she is open for it, understand that one of the above mentioned issues is likely going to kick in if you try to make that fantasy become reality. Normally, I would say that whatever you do, don't send mixed signals, but this is an obvious exception. You were looking for some kind of NSA/FWB/FB/whatever sex, you don’t want to start sending signals that will make it feel like a “date” (unless you’re both clear that’s what you want). Nevertheless, the prospect of sex on a first date will be too aggressive and intimidating for women. Verbally saying “not planning on sex” is not going to be enough, you have to set up a meet where sex would be impossible (short on time, public place, etc). Don’t make it too long Obviously, if things go bad, this will be an issue. Neither of you want to be sitting at a restaurant table making extremely uncomfortable conversation. Nothing worse than being out with someone and having to count the minutes until it is over. The idea is to leave wanting more. But even if it is not necessarily "bad," it could still be boring. That's a genuine fear. When conversation languishes and you're stuck making polite conversation, it is awkward for BOTH parties. Save everyone the concern and just plan a short meet. Take her somewhere that has a private niche in a public place Public enough so that she can feel safe and comfortable, but with a quiet spot to talk privately. Disregard if the person is married or attached, in which case it has to be totally private and in another town (but since I’m not writing the Cheater’s Manifesto, you’ll all have to figure out the specific details of how to talk to married gals from someone else). Somewhere cheap! Most men avoid this fearing they’ll come off as a cheap date. Unless you’re dating, I don’t recommend men pick up the tab – bring on the hate, but I’m holding my ground on this one. If it is cheap, then it is by definition low key. What you’re trying to avoid is feeling like it is a date where you have to be “on.” If it’s just Starbucks, I’m not worried about getting dolled up and getting my makeup just right. I’m not fretting about how I can present myself as witty, cute, and quirky. It also side-steps the issue of who is paying. A lot of women simply don’t like men paying. It offends their feminist selves. It puts implicit pressure to put out in return. The best way to convey you’re not expecting something in return for your financial investment is to not make a huge financial investment in the first place (ie expensive restaurants or hard-to-get tickets). So instead of putting her in an awkward position, take her somewhere inexpensive so that it is a non-issue. And nothing says “I’m desperately trying to impress you” quite like overspending. If you’re out with someone, YOU are the attraction. If that’s not enough, and you need something more to keep her interested … well … I’m sorry to break it to you, but you’ve already lost. Trying to spend your way out of that only results on you losing money. Hopefully this helps you understand what women are thinking and feeling in regards to meeting, and how you can plan something to sidestep those issues. ... Next up, why asking to meet is an instant conversation killer |
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All decent advice and Definitely geared to those of a much younger demographic as that is the trend these days.Hopefully they'll stop taking notes from pornography and take heed to what's being conveyed here Using more than all the road!
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I met one man in a coffee shop in a garden centre,,, he bought the first round,,, it went well..and time went on so I bought the 2nd round  .. I didn't stretch to cake mind 
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Great Reading.....!!
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Sound advice, although the picking up the tab segment may prove contentious! Pretty of female blogs in the past about cheapskate men!
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More to come, probably on Monday, stay tuned
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