True Insights About Men & Women...
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Posted:Nov 21, 2006 11:23 am
Last Updated:Jan 27, 2008 5:44 pm
1983 Views
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1. She won't unlock car door for him.
-Doesn't engage in oral sex.
2. He gets in car without opening door for her.
-No foreplay.
3. He can't hail a cab.
-Impotent.
4. He insists on going to a brand new restaurant.
-Prefers virgins.
5. She insists on going to a brand new restaurant but gets lost on the way there.
-Is a virgin.
6. He insists on going to a romantic, candlelit restaurant.
-Compulsive Don Juan.
7. He insists on going to a homey little cafe.
-Compulsive Don Quixote.
8. He insists on going to a Polynesian bar.
-Compulsive Don Ho.
9. She wants to go to a French restaurant.
-Will swallow.
10. She wants to go to a deli.
-Won't swallow.
11. She uses Sweet n' Low.
-Wears falsies.
12. She takes too long deciding what to order.
-Has trouble reaching orgasm.
13. She orders salad dressing on the side.
-Will give a hand job, but won't go "all the way".
14. She gives explicit orders to the waiter or waitress.
-Will expect incredibly skillful gymnastics in bed.
15. He insists on ordering for you.
-Thinks that you had an orgasm when you didn't.
16. He asks for "the usual".
-Insists on missionary position only.
17. He asks what the specials are.
-Will want you to use handcuffs.
18. He fills up on bread and crackers.
-Premature ejaculator.
19. He doesn't finish everything on the plate.
-Has already cum.
20. He insists on having some of what you ordered.
-Will make you sleep on the wet spot.
21. He changes mind after ordering.
-Will never call you.
22. She changes tables.
-Nymphomaniac.
23. She drinks decaf.
-Fakes orgasm. (Female)
24. He orders in French.
-Fakes potency. (Male)
25. He sends food back.
-Will sleep with you, brag to all his friends, and then try to borrow money.
26. She asks for detailed descriptions of the desserts.
-Needs you to talk dirty during sex.
27. He orders a dessert involving ladyfingers.
-Wants a hand job.
28. She orders a dessert involving nuts.
-Castrating bitch.
29. She wants to split dessert.
-Is dying to move in with you and rearrange all your closets.
30. His credit card is refused.
-Low sperm count.
31. He under tips waiter.
-Small penis.
32. He under tips parking valet.
-Small penis.
33. He under tips cabbie.
-Small penis.
34. He uses a toothpick.
-Is trying to tell you size isn't everything.
35. He has a removable CD player in car.
-Pulls out repeatedly during sex.
36. He has a cellular phone mounted in the car.
-Has a penile implant.
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Q & A
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Posted:Nov 17, 2006 11:04 am
Last Updated:Jan 27, 2008 5:45 pm
1968 Views
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Q: What do you call a lesbian with big fingers?
A: Well hung.
Q: Who makes more money? A or a drug dealer?
A: A , because at the end of the day, she can wash the crack out and use it again!
Q: How do you spot a blind man in a nudist camp?
A: It's not hard.
Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A: They don't have time.
Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: They won't stop to ask directions.
Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A: A widow
Q: How many animals can you fit into a pair of Pantyhose?
A: 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 ass, 1 beaver, an unknown number of hares, and a fish no one can find.
Q: What is the square root of 69?
A: 8 something. (Ate something)
Q: What is the difference between 100 used condoms and a goodyear tire?
A: One is a goodyear, and the other is a Fucking GREAT year!
Q: What do women & condoms have in common?
A: They both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Q: What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
A: Spit, swallow and gargle
Q: What is the difference betweek ooh and ahh?
A: About 4 inches.
Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, but who knows how they got in there.
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Sad News ...
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Posted:Nov 6, 2006 12:56 pm
Last Updated:Jan 22, 2008 6:43 pm
1755 Views
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Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two , John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
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Global Warming
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Posted:Nov 2, 2006 7:47 am
Last Updated:Nov 6, 2006 12:40 pm
1882 Views
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Finally, solid proof that Global Warning really exists! I know I'm feeling warmer!!
<===Just click the image.
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Pierced Nipples
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Posted:Oct 31, 2006 12:48 pm
Last Updated:May 28, 2024 8:47 pm
1629 Views
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I found this image humorous.
(Just click on the image.)
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BREAKING NEWS ! ! !
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Posted:Oct 30, 2006 10:04 am
Last Updated:Oct 31, 2006 12:41 pm
1848 Views
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Apple Computer reported today that it has developed computer chips that can store and play music inside women's breasts. This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them!
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WORK isn't PRISON!
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Posted:Oct 30, 2006 9:36 am
Last Updated:May 28, 2024 8:47 pm
1683 Views
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Just in case you ever get these two environments mixed up, this should make things a little bit clearer.
IN PRISON..........you spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell.
AT WORK...........you spend the majority of your time in an 8X8 cubicle.
IN PRISON.........you get three meals a day.
AT WORK..........you get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.
IN PRISON..........you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK...........you get more work for good behavior.
IN PRISON..........the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK...........you must often carry a security card and open all the doors for yourself.
IN PRISON..........you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...........you could get fired for watching TV and playing games.
IN PRISON.........you get your own toilet.
AT WORK..........you have to share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat.
IN PRISON...........they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK............you aren't even supposed to speak to your family.
IN PRISON.........all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK..........you get to pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes
from your salary to pay for prisoners.
IN PRISON..........you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK..........you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
IN PRISON........ you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK...........they are called managers.
Now get back to work. You're not getting paid to read blogs. 
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Been busy ...
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Posted:Jun 11, 2006 6:21 pm
Last Updated:Oct 30, 2006 1:31 pm
1695 Views
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Sorry I haven't posted this month. Work and summer activities have distracted me. I've met a couple of friends from here on Friday. They're wonderful people. I hope we get a chance to meet up again.
I have plans to meet with a wonderful lady I met here at LesbianPersonals this coming week. I'm really excited about it.
I'll get back into the swing of things here soon I hope. I have missed reading the blogs.
Hope everyone had a great weekend!
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Memorial Day
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Posted:May 26, 2006 10:38 am
Last Updated:Jun 9, 2006 2:36 pm
1911 Views
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Traditional observance of Memorial Day has diminished over the years. Many Americans have forgotten the meaning and traditions of Memorial Day. At many cemeteries, the graves of the fallen are increasingly ignored and neglected. Most people no longer remember the proper flag etiquette for the day. While there are towns and cities that still hold Memorial Day parades, many have not held a parade in decades. Some people think the day is for honoring any and all dead, and not just those fallen in service to our country.
No matter your feelings toward the Iraqi war, please take a moment this weekend to remember the Honorable men and women of our Armed Forces who have given the ultimate sacrifice for this great country.
We cherish too, the Poppy red
That grows on fields where valor led,
It seems to signal to the skies
That blood of heroes never dies.
Moina Michael
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Well Endowed?
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Posted:May 24, 2006 12:31 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2012 6:14 pm
2097 Views
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Lately, I've focused my LesbianPersonals search on couples looking for a male. One thing I've noticed in a lot of their profiles is the lady wants a 'Well Endowed' male.
This has raised a few question in my mind.
蒜/color] Is she wanting a male with a larger member than her husband's?
蒜/color] Is the husband comfortable with this?
蒜/color] Just what size equals 'Well Endowed'?
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Are You Good in Bed?
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Posted:May 23, 2006 1:59 pm
Last Updated:Jan 28, 2008 8:34 pm
2443 Views
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START AT 50 and add or substract points as stated for each statement that applies to you ...
+ Above 50 means you are not so good in bed..and not so fun
- Below 50 means you are real fun and damn good in bed .
The higher your number, the worse you are in bed!
The lower the number, the better ... you get the idea!
AFTER you're done ... leave a comment, along with your score.
Feel free to copy this and post this!
+ Add 10 if you are a virgin.
- Subtract 5 if You have had sex before.
- Subtract 5 more if you have had sex with more then 5 people.
+ Add 5 If you have never had oral sex.
- Subtract 5 if you have had or performed oral sex.
- Subtract 2 if you have had sex in a public place.
- Subtract 3 if you have done 69.
+ Add 5 If you have never had an orgasm.
+ Add 5 If you cant name 3 types/brands of condoms.
- Subtract 2 if you have masturbated.
- Subtract 3 if you have fingered/given a handjob to someone else.
- Subtract 5 if you have used someone for sex [one night stand].
+ Add 5 if You have never seen someone of the opposite sex naked.
+ Add 5 if you havent kissed more then 3 people [unrelated].
+ Add 3 if you havent been kissed in the past month.
+ Add 2 if you have never masturbated.
+ Add 5 if you have never seen or watched porn.
- Subtract 5 if you have made your own porn.
- Subtract 3 if you have participated in anal sex.
- Subtract 2 if you have used lube duiring sex.
+ Add 5 If you cant remember your last perverted thought.
- Subtract 5 if you have used sex toys.
- Subtract 3 if you have had a perverted thought in the past hour.
- Subtract 2 if you have kissed someone of the same sex.
If I did the math correctly, I'm a 12.
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Humorous Headlines
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Posted:May 22, 2006 9:51 am
Last Updated:May 31, 2006 4:45 pm
1672 Views
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Here are some funny Newspaper Headlines. Hopefully they weren't taken literally.
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Deer Kill 17,000
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery Hundreds Dead
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Make Nutritious Snacks
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Air Head Fired
Steals Clock, Faces Time
Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
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To link to this blog (rm_Horsn_round) use [blog rm_Horsn_round] in your messages.
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