A Tantrum's Blowing This Way...
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Posted:May 20, 2016 12:01 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 4:1 pm
8991 Views
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I feel a tantrum coming on.
I am four years old, lying on the floor of the grocery store, banging my fists and feet into the dirty floor, begging for the Frosted Flakes cuz "they're GREEAT!"
I am 14, crying in the bathroom, asking my tear-stained face in the mirror "Why didn't HE ask me to dance?"
Flash four-ward to:
I am 54 and I'm cheesed off. Why in the world am I going to a workshop where the idea is to attract the partner who will mirror the positive and negative traits of Mommy and Daddy?
I've been there, done that and it was incredibly painful. I'm still licking my wounds.
Maybe I misunderstood the intention of "Keeping the Love You Find," (KLYF) which is based on imago therapy (Imago Therapy is my passion du year, along with making the world safe for the joyful "yes" to sex and building community). Imago Therapy says that we choose partners with whom we will work through the family of origin issues.
Am I really supposed to try to attract the person who will not give me what I want? Please God and The Goddess, do not let it be so!
Why in the world did I think this sounded like a great idea two months ago?
Tantrum aside, I'm off tomorrow to climb what will likely be another emotional peak at KLYF. After that, I'll climb Half Dome in Yosemite. Just kidding. I did that at 14. But I will go drive around Yosemite with my fellow workshop attendees and pollute the park burning fossil fuel.
Hey! Go see Yosemite while you can. Word is they may be removing roads in order to send it back to a more natural state.
I'm still processing last weekend's workshop. Which was neither sexual nor personal development. Well, maybe it is. I mean, any time you learn something isn't it personal development?
Check out Lisa Sasevich and "Living Sassy." It's a COMMUNITY for entrepreneurs. I said "yes" and then I backed out. I'm cautious about shelling out major money for schemes that may be scams. But I'm pretty sure that a "Sales Authenticity Success" Mastermind group, combined with a focus on creating an irresistible offer for my expertise will catapult me past the $XX/hour business model.
My rough idea?
An online training/coaching series for couples considering taking a leap into sexual exploration. Online dating, Tantra, BDSM, swinging, 3somes, 4somes, more-somes, kink, polyamory and every communication/relationship tool under the sun...you name it, I've tried it. Or I've interviewed a dozen people who have.
Creating this product will be fun!
Tantrum over. It's time to get on with what's next for me.
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BiPolyBabe69
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The Un-Scientist
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Posted:May 8, 2016 5:23 pm
Last Updated:May 12, 2016 10:18 pm
16049 Views
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This is posted as part of Participants List For the Nineteenth Virtual Symposium Science ...
As I was driving one night to the hot springs in Ojai, the car windows were rolled down. My 20-year-old Sierra inhaled deeply and then said, "Mulefat along the creek. I love that smell!"
"Mulefat, huh?" I said, nonplussed.
She explained that it's a weed that grows alongside creeks and is a sign of a healthy ecosystem.
"I did not know that," I replied, impressed.
Later, when we were soaking in the outdoor tub alongside the creek, Sierra asked me if I knew why the human body is buoyant in water.
"I've learned the reason for that at least half a dozen times in science classes, but it's never stuck in my brain," I said.
She nodded. "Yeah, I'm not sure science is relevant. I only believe in what feels good."
I laughed out loud for several minutes and didn't bother to mention that Sierra actually does find science relevant, since she has retained the information on what constitutes a healthy ecosystem. What I understood is that she and I both pay attention and only retain data that have meaning for us. And I took delight in knowing that my is growing up to be a free-thinking, earth-loving sensualist.
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BiPolyBabe69
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If I had a Chinchilla coat...
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Posted:May 8, 2016 9:56 am
Last Updated:May 18, 2016 12:57 pm
9331 Views
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If I had a Chinchilla coat, I'd wear it with the fur on the inside. Who cares about showing off your fur coat to others? The real delight is in feeling that fur against naked skin!
Thanks so much to smoothone805 for an incredibly indulgent evening, including:
Soaking in the hot tub
A massage with coconut oil
Grilled grass fed steaks and salad
Too many delicious glasses of Pinot Noir
Chocolate chip brownies with vanilla ice cream, chocolate sauce and whipped cream
Sorry about passing out on the massage table.  That reminds me of sex guru Dan Savage's dictate of "FUCK FIRST!"
Savage points out that when planning a romantic evening, too many couples leave the sex until the end of the evening when, bellies full, what they really want to do is sleep!
Next time we'll arrange the activities in sexier order!
{=}{=}{=}
BiPolyBabe69
P.S.--Thanks, smoothone805, for wrapping me up like a present in your Chinchilla blanket and for sending me home with the beautiful bouquet of red roses. Totally over the top!
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Slut Tracking: Your Ideas, Please!
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Posted:May 6, 2016 11:38 am
Last Updated:May 8, 2016 10:29 pm
9509 Views
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I've said it before, and I'll say it again...until the world shifts on its axis and agrees with me:
Being a slut --a person who likes sex a lot and likes a lot of sex-- is an entirely good thing. My slutty gal pals intend to help me re-brand the concept as a positive one.
Given that I won't necessarily want to have sex with every person I might meet (even though I'm a slut, I have high standards because I adore sex), I have a limited amount of time for emailing, talking by phone and setting up first meetings.
As I'm sure you know, there are now a whole huge number of websites (and now the damn Tinder app!) which create a vast ocean of possibilities for getting laid. I'm not looking to have a string of one-off experiences. I'm seeking emotional intimacy in the context of a non-monogamous relationship. That's proving a challenging goal so I don't have anything against having sex just for the sake of sex...sometimes...especially when I'm traveling out of town.
But, that creates a logjam issue I can't figure out how to resolve. If I go "swipe right" in stupid Tinder in a town before I get there, I'll have this deluge of people to wade through and I simply won't have time to do that all-important, in-person job interview during which I try to discern:
* "Could you be The One?"
and/or
* "Could you be the fun one for right now?"
The reason I hate Tinder is that there's not enough information about the person to have a sense of whether I'd like him/her or not. My preferred dating site is okcupid, because I appreciate having the options narrowed down a little to someone who's sort of a match with me, according to the site's questionnaire algorithm. And I can read about his/her interests and get a sense of the person from how well he expresses those interests.
Then, there are people in places I visit from time to time, the Bay Area and Palm Springs. If I don't get to meet the person on one visit, I might the next time. How to keep track?
Do I really need to create an excel spreadsheet? It starts to sound like work! When this is supposed to be for fun. But I hate to miss out on fun options.
So...is there a slut dating app that will help me track fun potential dates?
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BiPolyBabe69 aka Angie
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Nothing Succeeds like Sexcess!
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Posted:May 6, 2016 9:02 am
Last Updated:Aug 17, 2016 8:02 am
10558 Views
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I flatter myself that I'm kind of picky about my sex partners, most of whom learn rather quickly that I'm certainly picky, well, discriminating in how my body is touched.
It's a tricky thing to be a picky slut. (In my vernacular, being a slut --someone who likes sex a lot and likes a lot of sex-- is an entirely good, no, great thing. I am determined, with my slutty gal pals, to re-brand the word as a virtue.)
Last night I had one date rather early in the evening with my new Bi-BFF and her hunky Boy Toy (he is a sexy, smart hunk and he's all of two years younger than she, so "BT" he shall be). I was the gracious/grateful recipient of their practice on how to, maybe, open up a new female partner to the girl-girl experience, something on the agenda, if all goes well, for next week. I explained to them that lots of women may be interested in experimenting with women but feel handicapped, so to speak, by lack of sexperience and concern about how to get it on with the girl parts, even though they possess those same parts. In my first outing as a "Unicorn Virgin,"in a 3-some a dozen years ago, I was most comfortable being given direction about how to do something to one of the couple, rather than have all the attention focused on me...at least at first. So that's how I suggested they start with lots of slow, sensual touch, perhaps switching to allow each one of them to be the focus of the loving touch. And then kind of go with the flow. I'm sure they'll be great. They're sensitive, caring and sexy as hell!
Oh, I nearly forgot...we made progress on my desire to have my BBFF fist me. I haven't been fisted since I was in my all girl, all the time (two-year monogamous lesbian) phase 15 years ago. My pussy has forgotten how to relax into the intensity...but it's coming back to me. BBFF got her darling tiny fist inside, and it felt good but I wasn't yet ready for her to start pounding yet. (Have I mentioned that I'm wired for intensity? I love intense sensation, as well as soft, soothing, slow, smooth. Which reminds me that I have another blog inside me ready to bubble out. It has to do with a particularly rich, smooth experience. More on that in a later blog.)
Anyway, I had an exceptionally lovely time as they both lavished attention on me. With time, we've grown more comfortable with one another and it's now starting to feel more natural to have a threesome. 3somes are even relatively new to me as I've generally preferred to have sex one-on-one. In fact, I launched my campaign to figure out how to have 3somes be fun when I was turning myself into a pretzel to be able to enjoy swinging with The Unavailable Guy. I'd almost forgotten that was the impetus, yet another positive thing I gained from a painful year. I've found one other couple, passionplayers96, with whom I've had really fun 3somes where all parties feel integrated into the action. I've ALMOST decided that 3somes are much easier than the "couple dating" thing that's common to swinging. With 2 couples, it seems like someone has to always take one for the team because there's not usually the same level of attraction on the part of both partners. Unless both people like having sex with new people, just for the sake of having sex with new people. Which is not the case with me, hence why I consider myself picky.
So, what a pair of characteristics to draw: picky and a horny slut! (Not as horny, say, as a teenage boy. My libido goes up and down but when it's up, it's way up. And when I have sex that's really fun, as I did over the weekend in Phoenix, I tend to want more of it.)
So, last night I had a lot of fun with BBFF and BT. Then I got a text from a new potential suitor (a first date via Tinder) who'd managed to get himself free from entertaining his . (I'd suggested by text that he send them off to the non-alcoholic "gentleman's club" Spearmint Rhino and then come do a lap dance with me. But he couldn't ditch them early so his text arrived around 9 pm, shortly before my friends departed.)
He and I arranged to meet at the Mexican restaurant near my studio. When I arrived, the bar was a madhouse, packed with people shouting to be heard over the din. Whoops! It's a problem, my never reading the news or focusing on the calendar. I'd forgotten it was Cinco de Mayo. Tall, Blond and Handsome (TBH) suggested we push through the bar and walk back into the restaurant. I was scandalized. I realized last weekend in Phoenix listening to one of my gal pals talk about jumping the chain barrier to explore the "Do Not Enter" part of the Spanish castle that I'm not much of a rule breaker. "You can't go in the restaurant if you're not sitting down to eat!" I thought. But, I mutely followed him as he took my hand and led me to the side of one of the back rooms where we pulled up against the wall, using some stacked extra chairs to hold our margaritas. TBH and I talked about food, my #2 passion. TBH's pushed him to enter a Top Chef-type cooking competition. Sadly, he took second place...and none of the $50,000 prize money. But, that indicates he can likely whip up dishes that will please my picky palate.
Standing next to one another and talking into one another's ears in order to be heard felt oddly intimate in the crowded place. I was wearing boots with just enough heel to put my lips nearly level with his. I put my hands up around his neck and kissed him. His lips on my mouth were soft, not sloppy and just enough breathing to know that he didn't have foul breath but that I was really aware of that he'd eaten something flavorful for dinner. No matter! I suggested he finish off my margarita, too, and we go back to my place...where my massage table was already set up from my earlier play time.
I've been experimenting with how to make that transition from "Nice to meet you, TBH," to "Would you like to take all my clothes off?" Anembarrassing admission: I suck at seduction. I'm way too straight forward.
"I wanna fuck," I'm thinking. "You probably do, too, so how do we get it on in a way that feels natural?"
Since I adore being touched, I've found that suggesting that someone give ME a massage serves well on two counts:
1) I get touch that I adore, and I always request some soothing of my eternally hunched and tight shoulders (victims of my use of a laptop to write!)
2) I get to find out if he's someone who likes to touch me and shows any potential for the kind of slow sensual build of desire I most enjoy.
He did! Hurray! One other big, big, big victory. No, not that.  Stamina is what I meant in this case. But, in answer to that question, yes, it was. We had a safer sex talk and were good to go. I explained how I use Reality Female Condoms (buy online at amazon or undercovercondoms), which he'd never tried, with food-grade organic coconut oil as a lubricant. I rode him on the massage table, he bent me over it. I put my feet up in the stirrups that I can suspend from the ceiling so he could stand at the end of the massage table and pound my pussy long and hard, just the way I like it. As a break from hard, fast pounding, I asked him do 9 short strokes right at the introitus (entrance to the vagina) and then one deep one. Feels so great cuz the short strokes create a vacuum that will build desire to suck that dick back in. All the way back, yes, there, yes, yes, yes. You get the idea.
I tried to avoid using the coconut oil bottle that smelled like sort of minty. My BBFF identified the scent as lemon verbena. I have no idea why my coconut oil bottle would smell like that but, inevitably, when all the other bottles disappeared, I ended up sucking lemon verbena dick. It's not an unpleasant scent, mind you, but it's a little too reminiscent of soap to be truly dick-like.
Here's another sort of embarrassing admission:
I think I suck at cock sucking. I'm enthusiastic. I adore the sensation of a cock in my mouth, but I'm handicapped by having a small mouth. See
The cocks that appeal to my pussy are not "the perfect suck-me size," as Liz Phair sings. You may be surprised to learn that, as a professional Sex Coach and Pro Domina, I don't believe in blowjobs. It sounds like work. Who wants sex to sound like work? In addition, since the men I prefer to fuck have stamina, it can make getting them off orally a chore. As a lazy slut, when I'm done, I try to make it sound sexy for the guy to yank it over my naked body. TBH wasn't buyin' that one. I told him I was game (to suck soap-scented dick) as long as it was fun for me. I love popping the head of the cock out one side of my mouth, popping it back in and then out the other side. I shifted positions a couple times to take the strain off my neck and pretty much just bobbed the knob or I'd have risked jamming his dick into my molars, but that got the job done. And it was a little bit like work but, well, some times it's okay to be generous and extend oneself a bit beyond one's comfort zone.
So what's next with TBH? Honestly, I have no idea. I told him I like to get a text the next day acknowledging our time together and that I don't believe that means we're immediately "in a relationship." Maybe he could be an occasional Fuck Buddy. Maybe it will just be a one-off. At this point, I don't really care. Since I'm currently once bitten, twice shy, I'm determined not to have sex with anyone (unless he's crazy about me) more than once a month. I know that for me, frequent sexual intimacy leads to a yearning for emotional intimacy and not everyone is available for the second part.
Good thing I have a flexible schedule that allows me to continue fishing for fun! I don't know how people who actually work full-time manage to get their sexual needs met.
Apparently, there are a lot of people whose work computers are open on LesbianPersonals all day, too.
And with that, I'm off to fish for more Sexcess.
{=}{=}{=}
BiPolyBabe69 aka Angie
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How To Choose "The Love of One's Life"?
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Posted:May 5, 2016 3:02 pm
Last Updated:May 24, 2016 7:06 am
9070 Views
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One of my close friends believes in birth dates. Not simply the usual goofy astrology rubbish (please forgive me, astrology fans)...but
Luce has this whole book of dates which identify potentially perfect matches for each of us.
The birth dates of my matches:
Jan 7, 15, 17, 21
Feb 21, 26
Mar 3, 11, 13, 17, 19
April 22, 28
May 7, 9, 13, 15, 20
June 24
July 3, 5, 9, 11, 16, 22
Aug 22, 28
Sept 1, 5, 7, 12, 18
Oct 24, 25
Nov 1, 3, 8, 14
Dec 28
Please write to me ASAP if you are born on one of those days.
Additionally, I have specific birth years for men or women, depending on the gender of the potential partner. That's the "bi" part of bi-poly-babe.
In my last post If not chemistry, then what, I suggested, in essence, to myself: "Find a man who thinks you're absolutely fabulous, says so and ALLOW HIM TO LOVE YOU."
I've also tried The Algorithm of okcupid, which has pointed me in the direction of interesting potential partners, but that's all about stuff going on in the mind. Not sure if the mind is helpful for a lasting love.
Here's something I believe is true about women:
Men: Give to us with your open heart, give us orgasms on a regular basis, and we will love you. It's something that we're biologically wired to do. You need not be the hottest guy in the bar. You simply need to possess positive features we will focus on. It's actually better if our attraction to you would just creep up on us while we're unaware that we're falling in love.
GAL PALS: If you want, want, want him in the worst way from the moment you lay eyes on him, RUN! Run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. He calls out your instinct that will have you wrap yourself in a pretzel to be what he desires. Trust me. I've been there, done that, got the T-shirt (that I'm about to burn in a sacred ritual).
Knowing that, I'm cautious about instant attraction.
Upshot: I'm a Sex and Relationship Coach and I have no idea how to find what I desire.
Response: It's time to surrender to The Universe and admit you know nothing.
Knowing nothing,
{=}{=}{=}
BiPolyBabe69 aka Angie
P.s.--Cuz I have a new idea every day, I'm off to see if LesbianPersonals will let me search by birth date!
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If not chemistry, then what?
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Posted:May 4, 2016 10:48 pm
Last Updated:Aug 17, 2016 8:05 am
12016 Views
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What if it's not..."chemistry"?
What if great first-time sex means a willingness to be attentive, appreciative and generous?
To consider this question, let's examine my experiences at Plush Parties' "Spring Fling" last weekend in Phoenix. I had lotsa fun since I met up with my sexy unicorn gal pals, the two single women I met at last year's Sin City 5 in Las Vegas.
For the Saturday night party theme of "Candyland," we dressed up in candy colors and, well, sucked.
I'm not a big time party girl. Hanging out in large groups and making cocktail party chat, even when it's about sex, makes me tired. I prefer one-on-one, so I set up a bunch of dates with local guys to entertain myself during my stay.
Now...here's an embarrassing confession. I have chided many a man for "thinking with your dick" when he sends me an email with the trite "You're gorgeous" except he writes, "your gorgeous," which irritates the shit out of me. Bad grammar AND he's just looking at a picture, hasn't read my profile and can't engage me in conversation!!!
Ahem, MY embarrassing admission = I am just as superficial as those men. I search for "long and extra long, thick and extra thick" dicks when I travel with sex-pectations. Then, I will write to those men whose photos and profiles appeal to me.
I wrote to half a dozen on this site in advance of my visit to Phoenix. I talked by phone with three of them. I decided I'd like to meet them all. My friend Robyn worked hard as my "PDA" (Personal Dating Assistant) to help me remember their names and assignation times.
Upon meeting, I said "yes" to one purely on superficial criteria: handsome, black, former pro football player whose big dick photo I'd seen. Then, he spent more time fucking Robyn, my lesbian girlfriend (okay, she's occasionally "hetero-flexible"), because that's a bucket list item for most straight guys: "Hey, I fucked a lesbian and she liked it."
After that, I retracted my invitation for the next night because Robyn didn't want him again and I don't need to fuck around with a guy who doesn't see me. And really wants to fuck my friend just cuz she's a lesbian!
Then, I said "no thanks" to another guy because he didn't have "chat," the ability to inspire sexual thoughts either by his presence, words or topics. My PDA (Robyn) was very helpful in smoothing out his exit. She was softer in the delivery than the swift boot in the backside I intended.
Finally I said a "HELL YES" to Mr. Quietly Confident who talked to me in the bar for TWO HOURS at 3 pm before we decided to "get a room." He demonstrated conversational ability and, most importantly, HE SAID HE LIKED ME, liked being with me and liked talking to me. He politely declined a 3 or 4-some with my gal pals and me.
When I said I was stunned by his dick pic, he said, "It's mostly the camera angle."
It wasn't.
Mr. Quietly Confident just wanted to be with me.* That's why he got a room for the two of us. He didn't particularly want my gal pals walking in.
While we were having sex, he told me exactly the features of my body he appreciated. I consider myself a sexually confident woman, but, especially, the first time I take my clothes off, I appreciate hearing:
"I love the curve of your waist."*
"You've got great tits." (I dislike the word "tits" but I appreciated the sentiment.)*
and the all-time winner...
"You're so incredibly sexy!"*
Hearing those things helped me shred the barriers that I build to keep myself safe and emotionally disconnected while having sex with someone new.*
I looked him in the eye as he licked my pussy while fingering my G-spot, making the adjustments I requested, ready to stay down there for as long as I liked, until I squirted all over his face. Then, he said, "Oh My God, that's so hot!"
So, if there are any men out there reading, here's my point:
She will like you IF YOU LIKE HER, tell her so and then demonstrate it by being attentive to her.
I appreciate that I'm singin' to the choir here. The lovely men who read this blog are, by habit of reading about women's opinions on sex, attuned.
I wish I could spread this gospel:
Pay attention to her, which means listening to what she says, and she will like you and want to fuck you.
And, if she's a sexual gourmand like me, she will happily belly up to the buffet for a second round if you've been attentive to her desires. Which I did. Round Two the next morning was equally delightful. I'd go eat in that restaurant frequently if I didn't have to travel to Phoenix to do so.
* NOTE: Mr Quietly Confident applied salve to the places where I'm raw after a year of off-and-on with The Unavailable Guy who never told me what he liked about my body or my person and seemed to savor the other women in our swinger experiments more than he did me. So, maybe I'm especially needy here.
Nope. Honestly, I think I'm like most women who just want to be adored and appreciated. Authentically.
It doesn't have to be forever. It just needs to be real in the moment.
My advice = ADORE HER. OUT LOUD.
Am I wrong about that?
Next, I'm going to see if I can interview a couple guys about what they think makes great first-time sex for them. Maybe it's waaaay different than what works for me.
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BiPolyBabe69 aka Angie
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The Height of Self Indulgence!
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Posted:Apr 28, 2016 7:15 pm
Last Updated:May 8, 2016 10:35 pm
9107 Views
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Yesterday I enjoyed something I consider extravagantly sensual and hedonistic.
I got a pedicure AT THE SAME TIME as a neck and shoulder massage! After experiencing this sublime pleasure of someone digging the knots out of my shoulders, I wondered by every nail salon doesn't offer it.
You see, some women enjoy pedicures. To me, it's boring. Often, I'm so impatient to get on with stuff that I mess up the nail polish immediately when I put on my flip flops. Then, there are the times when I think the polish is dry but when I put on my riding (horseback) boots, I smoosh it all up.
I wanted my toes pretty for Plush Parties' "Spring Fling" this weekend, April 29-May 1, in Phoenix.
I'm hoping to meet some new Arizona-based friends, as well as hanging out with the two unicorn gal pals I met last year at Las Vegas' "Sin City 5"!
Spring Fling sounds sure to be another round of decadent fun! Tons of fruity drinks and fake tits everywhere you look!
What's your idea of a delightful indulgence?
{=}{=}{=}
BiPolyBabe69 aka Angie
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Being clear with THE UNIVERSE about my request...
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Posted:Apr 26, 2016 5:17 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2016 7:05 pm
9531 Views
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When I equivocate about what I desire, The Universe GETS IT WRONG.
Stupid Universe!
It was unkind of you to send me someone who was so close to what I desire and have him be "just not be that into" me (not to mention his shame about being a perv who likes to step outside the default heterosexual, monogamous mode).
I want The Unavailable Guy (TUG) v2.0.
Now, let me specify. I desire a man (or a woman though I'm using "he" and "his" because I'm 70% heterosexual but that other 30% is an enthusiastic 30% who adores women!!!). S/he is someone who:
1) IS CRAZY ABOUT ME!!! And whose heart is available to love and appreciate me. And tell me so.
2) Shares my passion for culture change, especially attitudes towards sex. Which, of course, means that he appreciates my courage to follow my calling to work as a Sex Coach and professional Domina.
3) Adores me my body, and lets me know it, even while enjoying other beauties in solo dates and any group activities.
4) Is smart, healthy, well-educated/traveled, attractive, kind and wants to share his thoughts from reading or life observations. Like me. (No point in being falsely modest with The Universe. The Universe already know I think a lot of myself.) Which means it's great if he has a sense of humor...especially about his human frailties. Which I do, too.
5) Shares my desire to learn and grow as a person and is willing to communicate with me...no matter what. That means, FUCKING UNIVERSE, he is willing to speak honestly with me about his desires, fears and feelings!
6) Is financially stable and happy with how he lives.
(SIDE NOTE: Only in 4, 5 and 6 were TUG and I in alignment with what I seek. That, FUCKING UNIVERSE, is why I'm pissed off! Oh, all right, I'll acknowledge that he has #10, too, but I'm convinced that guys with big dicks have outsize egos.)
7) Is a generous lover, like me: someone who is willing to try what the other person enjoys. Ideally, he's someone who can fuck a lot for a long time AND enjoys
extended in time kissing, touching, giving and receiving pleasure.
 Enjoys many outdoor physical activities and, when it comes to indoors: role play, a bit of kink, slow sensuality and tantric sexual energy in group sex play. (S/he just needs to be willing to explore these things.)
9) Believes in polyamory, aka ethical non-monogamy, and is willing to do what it takes to make an open, honest relationship work for both of us.
10) Has a big, thick dick. I can have a great time with any size penis, but I enjoy the experience of one that fills me up (without taxing my powerful PC muscles) and hits intense spots deep inside me. (Notice that this is lowest among my requests. Big dicks are easy to find for casual sex.)
Is that so much to request? I limited my requests to 10+bonus (the bonus would be a black man).
Do ya think you can handle that? Most magazine articles include "Top 10 Tips to..."
If not, I'll continue as "Solo Poly."
While remaining your Bi(sexual) Poly(amorous) Babe
{=}{=}{=}
BiPolyBabe69 aka Angie
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Being clear with THE UNIVERSE about my request...
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Posted:Apr 26, 2016 5:11 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 4:1 pm
8755 Views
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When I equivocate about what I desire, The Universe GETS IT WRONG.
Stupid Universe!
I want The Unavailable Guy (TUG) v2.0.
It was unkind of you to send me someone who was so close to what I desire and have him be "just not be that into" me (not to mention his shame about being a perv who likes to step outside the default heterosexual, monogamous mode).
Now, let me specify. I desire a man (or a woman though I'm using "he" and "his" because I'm 70% heterosexual but that other 30% is an enthusiastic 30% who adores women!!!). S/he is someone who:
1) IS CRAZY ABOUT ME!!! And whose heart is available to love and appreciate me. And tell me so.
2) Shares my passion for culture change, especially attitudes towards sex. Which, of course, means that he appreciates my courage to follow my calling to work as a Sex Coach and professional Domina.
3) Adores me my body, and lets me know it, even while enjoying other beauties in solo dates and any group activities.
4) Is smart, healthy, well-educated/traveled, attractive, kind and wants to share his thoughts from reading or life observations. Like me. (No point in being falsely modest with The Universe. The Universe already know I think a lot of myself.) Which means it's great if he has a sense of humor...especially about his human frailties. Which I do, too.
5) Shares my desire to learn and grow as a person and is willing to communicate with me...no matter what. That means, FUCKING UNIVERSE, he is willing to speak honestly with me about his desires, fears and feelings!
6) Is financially stable and happy with how he lives.
(SIDE NOTE: Only in 4, 5 and 6 were TUG and I in alignment with what I seek. That, FUCKING UNIVERSE, is why I'm pissed off! Oh, all right, I'll acknowledge that he has #10, too, but I'm convinced that guys with big dicks have outsize egos.)
7) Is a generous lover, like me: someone who is willing to try what the other person enjoys. Ideally, he's someone who can fuck a lot for a long time AND enjoys
extended in time kissing, touching, giving and receiving pleasure.
Enjoys many outdoor physical activities and, when it comes to indoors: role play, a bit of kink, slow sensuality and tantric sexual energy in group sex play. (S/he just needs to be willing to explore these things.)
9) Believes in polyamory, aka ethical non-monogamy, and is willing to do what it takes to make an open, honest relationship work for both of us.
10) Has a big, thick dick. I can have a great time with any size penis, but I enjoy the experience of one that fills me up (without taxing my powerful PC muscles) and hits intense spots deep inside me. (Notice that this is lowest among my requests. Big dicks are easy to find for casual sex.)
Is that so much to request? I limited my requests to 10+bonus (the bonus would be a black man).
Do ya think you can handle that? Most magazine articles include "Top 10 Tips to..."
If not, I'll continue as "Solo Poly."
While remaining your Bi(sexual) Poly(amorous) Babe
{=}{=}{=}
BiPolyBabe69 aka Angie
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Revenge Porn aka
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Posted:Apr 23, 2016 9:36 am
Last Updated:Apr 25, 2016 12:10 pm
9297 Views
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Single guys, on this site or other swinger websites, know how challenging it can be to get a couple to agree to MFM coupling. There are some guys who enjoy the cuckold experience or watching their wife or girlfriend fuck another guy. But, in my experience, most swinger couples seek couples or the mythical "unicorns" with no expectations except to be the middle of a FMF experience.
The Unavailable Guy (TUG), whose heart was unavailable to me, used to beg, "Just let me stay in the closet and watch" when I'd get together with one of my sexy gal pals.
Then, he and I did a comparison, using an Excel spreadsheet, of our satisfaction with sex parties or play with other couples. It turned out that I enjoyed myself most when I fucked him and he was unhappy whenever I cock blocked him because I felt jealous or insecure. You see, I wanted to be special in his eyes, and I discovered that new pussy, any new pussy, was actually more important to him. I believe if he'd been into me, I'd have been okay with swinging. I don't really know because I never had that feeling of being chosen or, even, appreciated for my willingness to experiment with him. When I realized this, I quit after nearly a year of swinging.
So, fast forward to this year's focus: volunteering as a hotline counselor for survivors of non-consensual sexual experiences. As part of the continuing education for my role, I recently watched a video about "Revenge Porn." I'd had no idea that websites existed where pissed off exes (99% male) would post naked or sex photos of their former girlfriends and wives, along with derogatory comments and, often, their private information: phone number, email or actual address. Most of us --especially younger women-- don't think through the potential consequences of taking sex photos or sexting nude pix to someone we're dating. We're in love and it's sexy naughtiness.
Learning of Revenge Porn, I was horrified. Apparently, it's really hard for this stuff to be wiped clean off the internet once posted. One site will remove it (upon request of the person pictured) but visitors to the site may post the offensive materials elsewhere. It's also really hard to prosecute someone for endangering the life of an ex by posting home addresses or harassment by sharing contact information. Then, there's the humiliation factor!
So, I fantasized about acting out my feeling of "Hell has no fury like a woman scorned," but I thought about how awful I'd feel if I were similarly exposed and discarded the idea.
But, my sleeping brain --still hard at work resolving my disappointment with TUG-- came up a new twist.
I dreamed that TUG and I had reached a point of enjoying being "just friends," not having sex together and feeling no tension about the past. (I was very conscious in my dreams of resisting the urge to fuck him again because, even though I was elated and miserable in equal measure during the time we dated, my attraction to his body has not lessened. But I know he's toxic for me.)
Anyway, in my dream, TUG and I were cuddled on the bed in his condo chatting about nothing when half a dozen of my hottest bi girlfriends started coming into the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed to chat with us and drape themselves about the room to make out with one another.
TUG got out of bed and went to brush his teeth. I called out after him, but he didn't hear me. He poked his head around the corner from the bathroom, toothbrush in hand, "What did you say, hun?" he asked.
I repeated "Did you ever imagine that your bedroom would be filled with half a dozen hot babes naked or in lingerie?"
Looking around the room, he said, "In my dreams." Then he added, "But I never imagined that NONE of them would be interested in me."
When I awoke, the idea of my hot sexy friends unwilling to spread their legs for him made me laugh out loud: Perfect Revenge Porn.
Muahahahaha!
BiPolyBabe69 aka Angie
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Ouch! What chaps your ass the most?!?
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Posted:Apr 19, 2016 1:00 am
Last Updated:Apr 22, 2016 12:32 am
9225 Views
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Ouch!
Cyber stalking (friends checked it out for me) has revealed that The Unavailable Guy (TUG), the one I suffered loving for the past year while he was merely "fond" of me, has already traded me in for The New Model...a woman 11 years younger than I.
And 20 years younger than he! (Quick math: I'm 54. He just turned 62 though he claims 55. In my opinion, he actually looks like 45-50 years old.)
Curse his great genes! Even my friends --who hate him on principle because they love me-- agree he's quite well-preserved.
But here's the kicker...
The Unavailable Guys' new model has a great rack. I haven't seen the tits in real life but he's posted them on their new swinger profile. And they look real rather than fake!
So...what would make you feel worst about your replacement:
* Younger?
* Bigger dick/rack?
* Smarter?
* More successful?
* Something else?
So I'll be putting a small Elmo Bandaid on my ouch and going off with my unicorn gal pals to Plush Parties "Spring Fling" in Phoenix April 29-May 1.
BiPolyBabe69 aka Angie
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What are your first date pet peeves?
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Posted:Apr 15, 2016 10:22 am
Last Updated:Apr 19, 2016 8:57 am
9410 Views
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I asked my happily married hairstylist (third time around has worked well for her) yesterday when she thinks is the right time to reveal that a date has bad breath. She thought that the second meeting was too soon. In fact, she said she'd never be able to come out and say it directly. Instead, she'd skirt the issue and offer breath mints, saying "I have a paranoia about ever having bad breath."
I said that's just not me. I'm much more honest than most people, certainly more direct than most women. (Plus, breath mints don't mask the smell for more than a couple minutes!)
I asked my new sexy Bi BFF (BBFF), the one with whom I'd like to spend more time naked and otherwise (though she's in the throes of mutual "in-love-ness" with a guy she's lusted after for 30 years). Anyway, BBFF said it would be a good idea to say something before getting all hot and heavy and I can't wait to get away from the heavy breathing. She and I agreed it was okay to say it before the second date.
First and foremost, I DO NOT DATE SMOKERS.
I dated two smokers who were trying to quit and it took MONTHS for them to stop exhaling the smell of dead lung air sacs on me. Plus, they were often snappy and unpleasant while quitting.
I smile and ignore occasional bad breath from because I know there are number of reasons for bad breath, chief among them:
Anxiety (and who wouldn't be anxious coming to meet with me about his sexual issues or to explore his desire for female domination) which can create dry mouth
Dehydration--dry mouth again
Smoking pot--which contributes to...dry mouth.
Poor digestion--I guess, not really sure about this one
Inadequate dental hygiene.
But I don't see any reason to put up with bad breath when dating just for fun.
On our third date, The Unavailable Guy (TUG) had the balls to tell me --right before he said he only wants "something casual"-- that I would benefit by following a regime of once or twice daily flossing, followed by brushing, followed by three minutes of Listerine, adding "Skip the off-brands. Get Listerine. It's the best."
I protested. I knew I'd been nervous and we had smoked pot, as well as drunk quite a lot of alcohol the first times we were together. My dental hygienist had assured me that my electric toothbrush applied right at the gum lines was sufficient. But, the feedback from TUG made me paranoid and I started his dental hygiene regime and kept mouthwash on hand at all times. (My favorite bottle is the cute miniature dark blue Skyy Vodka bottle that resides in my purse.)
NOTE: Coffee breath or heavy smell of fish, onions or garlic if someone has ingested them recently aren't that much of an issue. Those are temporary and pretty easy to distinguish from chronic halitosis.
Here's second pet peeve: I don't enjoy someone invading my personal space or talking solely about sex in the first encounter. Though I'm open about my interest and comfort with the topic and practice of sex (since I talk and think about sex all the time), in my personal life, I'm slow to warm up to prospective partners and don't enjoy feeling pressured.
Third and final peeve: I find it challenging to move from getting-to-know-you chat to "Let's get naked." I've asked a number of first dates, and they suggest kissing. My reservation about kissing: I prefer a certain style of kissing and I HATE having my mouth invaded by a tongue diving in and out as if it were his cock poking my pussy. Sexy kissing, in my opinion, is slow teasing and stopping and nuzzling, nibbling on my neck and breathing together (hence the requirement of fresh breath). Add that to the fact that I find kissing to be much more intimate than fucking and you may understand why it feels awkward for me to move to sex the first time. I have found it effective to get the kisser to slow down by saying, "Let me kiss you." Then, I demo what I like.
In my work, after I explain the process, I simply tell to shower, get naked and hop on the massage table. That's easy since I'm comfortable being entirely in charge. I don't necessarily want to be in charge with someone I'm dating just for fun.
I've had some success with having a first date give me a massage. With one couple that I see from time to time, we smoke pot and then dance a bit before flopping on the futon together. And kissing. With my Tantra-trained tribe, we may invoke a sacred space and, at least, usually engage in some woo-woo connection exercises like gentle stroking, breathing together, eye gazing and the like. We typically "run energy" (which means create a circuit of energy between us) before moving to more explicitly sexual activities, but I don't expect everyone to be interested in woo-woo.
So, tell me if you will, am I just too damn picky or...when do you think is the right time to talk about pet peeves like bad breath, space invasion and disagreeable kissing?
{=}{=}{=}
BiPolyBabe69 aka Angie
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To link to this blog (bipolybabe69) use [blog bipolybabe69] in your messages.
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