You can't have nice things...
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Posted:Sep 6, 2019 12:56 pm
Last Updated:Sep 6, 2019 2:55 pm
2010 Views
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Jeremy Renner (Hurt Locker, Bourne Legacy, Avengers' Hawkeye, other good stuff) had an iPhone app. He was all well and good doing his own fan app, until someone at Deadspin and the mindless twats who followed into asshat's footsteps, with no purpose other than "let's see if i can fuck things up", decided to fuck things up.
This is the equivalent of when you were a , doing what you wanted to do, minding your own business, and some shit head (usually your older siblings and their pointless friends) with nothing to do, decided up your shit was more fulfilling than figuring out what could please them in a positive sense.
Look at the comments of Deadspin article... Renner just wants to embrace his own personality, achievements, stature, and avenues to expand on it, and reach out to the people who also want to embrace it. If you don't like Renner, why are you acting like other people's love for him is taking away from the people YOU love? WHAT THE FUCK!?
People are so bored they have to go out of their way to say how much they don't enjoy something they don't care about. Where is your time being spent? This is why the arts are doomed. This is why social groups feel marginalized. (obviously is a bigger discussion I'm not taking on here)
I like the Avengers, I like his work in his other movies, but I'm no fan boy... but all power to him. Go forth and be all you can be!
Here's the result from people at large:
fuck up the shit someone else enjoys? PRIORITIZED!
enjoy my own shit? WHEN I HAVE TIME AWAY FROM UP OTHER SHIT.
This is why I keep things I enjoy to myself. There's an insatiable attraction people to ruin it and deride it if they decide they don't embrace it (or if they feel like their friends don't like it)... fuck it. fuck it all. And good for all of those people in the aforementioned social groups who decide to step up. You're braver than I am.
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What we have here is a failure to communicate
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Posted:Nov 3, 2017 12:03 pm
Last Updated:Sep 9, 2020 12:26 pm
2624 Views
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Paul Newman sure put his stamp on some good frozen pizza and salad dressing, but that line from "Cool Hand Luke" stands the test of time with his best uncured pepperoni pizza. It also brings to a head the feelings I've been having for most of my life, and it's especially prevalent on social sites (like LesbianPersonals)..
Initially write our profiles toward the people we WANT:
you must be a strong assertive type and know how what I want without breaking up the spontaneity by asking
Eventually adjust it to deflect those we don't:
stop sending me dick pics, i can see them all the time; and stop thinking it's OK to just whip it out in the car next to me thinking that's what i want
There's definitely lot that has to have gone wrong before the first scenario becomes the second, but it happens... and when I browse the profiles here on LesbianPersonals, most people have in their profile, something close to one of those two directives. The problem is that some people want only SOME people (those they like) to hear the first directive and the rest to hear the second. Blanket statements can be quite troublesome in either direction!
Given the recent spike in the sexual harassment news stories, there's a lot of things that are bound to change, and change quick. As I read about the person in power who is trying to make the moves on someone else (subordinate or otherwise), I would ask myself "WHY DOES THAT PERSON THINK THAT'S OK?" then I remind myself "oh that person has power"; or "oh, that person has been told countless times that assertiveness and dominance is sexy" and that person is also used to living in a world where those traits are celebrated and rewarded. It's an 80/20 world... that person is being attacked by people who don't celebrate nor reward those traits, so it pays off 80% of the time, but now they're getting hit with the 20% who have remained silent.
This has always been hard to distinguish, but I'm glad I have preferred to err on the side of caution. I would much rather be dumped because I was unable to decipher the mixed signals because I was unable to be assertive rather than jump headfirst into an accusation because I made an assumption that things would just work out like it does for the copier repair tech and pizza delivery guy.
I've had a couple first meetings with people who were turned off by my cautiousness, but that's OK, I'm more than happy to make that sure connection and feel it flourish. I would feel so much better when that confidence and assertiveness is a result of building a trust with someone.
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standards
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Posted:Jul 19, 2017 2:52 pm
Last Updated:Jul 19, 2017 11:11 pm
5082 Views
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I'm pretty psyched that the 13th Doctor Who is a woman. What I'm not psyched about is the proliferation of people who have any issue with the fact that a fictional character is now represented by someone who is not exactly the race-color-gender-orientation of the person or people-at-large who represented that character before.
Why does it matter? The story is what matters. Many stories are based on relationships. Love and war are always the pillars of good story telling. Any of us, if we are intelligent beings, should be able to relate to the STORY behind the relationship regardless of the gender or species of those who are in the relationship.
I honestly don't care who brings the story to me, it's up to me to relate to the story on my terms. Shows like Sense 8, which are extremely diverse, help bring in a new population where those who may have felt excluded (the LGBTQ identity) have found a temporary home (before Netflix canceled it).
At the core, I'm watching a touching moment between characters (and it doesn't matter when one or both are man, woman, human, cyborg, alien) but the point is that I relate to the feelings being transferred between them. The gender identity is secondary... And, I certainly understand and lament the fact that those who are in un-traditional relationships have to deal with idiots who can't bear the sight of those who are in such relationships...
Ok, so that's a few paragraphs and you probably don't know what the point is... that's the point. Why do we even care what gender that some person is or what gender or species that person is in love with? If we can relate to the feelings, that's the point of the story.
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One of those types
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Posted:Nov 3, 2016 11:42 am
Last Updated:Jul 19, 2017 3:12 pm
6686 Views
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There's a lot of people here. There's only one of you. How do you get through all of the cruft to find someone you actually like and can relate to? The easiest way is to generalize. You look at a picture or read a tagline and assess. "Oh I know him/her! that person is one of those... stay clear of that one!" What happens when you are almost definitely missing out on giving a chance to someone who is actually not one of "those types"? Nothing. You'll never know. (cue the butterfly effect!)
I would hope that each and every one of us comes here with an open mind and the belief that we're not one to judge... but despite our beliefs, we do it all the time. We see the profile picture, we judge. We read one of the "likes", we judge. There's always those tiny red flags that we see that somehow blow up into painful reminders of people we once knew, or tried to know, or heard about, and we judge. Oh it's THAT type of person.
I don't spend a lot of time thinking about the reaction of people as they see what pictures I post, or the words I say, although I'm fairly sure that no matter what I think I am trying to convey to you, it might not be close to what I think I'm conveying to you.
Subjectivity is a funny thing, and it's a hard thing to shake. How many advertisements have you seen for a product you like or dislike that is nothing like the product you love or despise? We're not marketers, and the hardest thing to market is an individual. And it's especially hard to market yourself... because who knows what the world sees of you when you're the only one on this side and everyone else is on that side?
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Virtual Walls
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Posted:Sep 2, 2016 1:02 pm
Last Updated:Jul 19, 2017 3:33 pm
8604 Views
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I feel my fingers extended, sliding down over my leg. It speeds up whenever it hits those wet spots which have been curiously increasing in number. Now, increasing in frequency. Every twitch results in some minor eruption internally... soon after, an eruption externally. My eruptions tend to leave those slippery puddles behind.
I feel like I could continue this ebb and flow for hours. The way I'm feeling now, I think it could go on for days. I don't think I ever want this to stop. I don't know how I could think doing or even thinking of anything else. I don't know how anyone could think of anything other than this. But, I don't want them to know. I want to feel this all alone. Alone with you. I don't want to stop. But. I want it to stop just to be there instead of here, separated by these screens.
My eyes are being held captive by your body, watching it pulsate with a rhythm that is so distinct, yet nobody would ever be able to keep time with it. the rhythm that can feel itself. I can see the euphoria emanate from every shaking, quivering limb. My limbs follow. I feel limbs, parts of myself raised in excitement. Parts that I forgot I had. Now, those limbs are moving sympathetically to yours.. almost helpless in following your beat. My ears are echoing the sounds of your moans, I'm trying to keep them alive for as long as they can. I can. I don't want this song to stop.
My brain is running to insanity desperately dreaming of what could develop if I was there next to you... if I was there touching you... if I was there... if we could be inside of each other.
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we are finding who we are
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Posted:Mar 22, 2016 12:23 pm
Last Updated:May 13, 2024 12:59 am
8224 Views
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Over the years of being online, one thing that has become most obvious is how much it reminds me of being in high school. Those were days of innocence when we were all convinced that everyone else was going through phases, putting on their best masks to fit in and be accepted. I know I did it. Maybe you did too.
I was online in high school and back then and I had actually thought that because of the relative anonymity of being online, you could expose who you really were. You had no fear of being called out or ridiculed because your views didn't match those that everyone else viewed as correct.
Now, whether those views matched what most of those people held true and believed in on the inside is a different story. There's a difference between what people believe and what people accept, and what people convey. The explosion of social media and likes and all of that has brought the truth of what people convey back to highest importance. Just like it was in high school. and now that i think of it, just like it is in politics and religion.
What people feel inside and what they believe has to be buried so deep inside, otherwise we face the same vicious name calling, berating and judgment that had become the norm back when we were hopeful everything would change when we all grew up.
Now, here we are. In an environment with just the right amount of perceived anonymity and freedom based on how much skin and identifying features we choose to expose, but is it enough to actually say what we believe?
I'll answer that next time.
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I want to go down... on you
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Posted:Feb 17, 2016 12:18 pm
Last Updated:Feb 21, 2017 11:42 am
9298 Views
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There was an SNL segment on a few weeks back where a few guys went out to a bar to try to pick up a woman or three. It was one of those skits that evolved into a where the guys were describing what kind of fun they'd provide to the women that they were trying to pick up. Jay Pharoah and Taran Killam were mostly gloating via lyric about how big and good their dicks were, but the third guy, Beck Bennet hung on to the tag-line "I'll go down on you". I started to wonder, is there some mutually exclusive rule where a guy who goes down does so because he's got a small dick or can't use it? Is "I'll go down on you" some kind of consolation prize?
I have to admit (and I even say it in my profile) I enjoy to no end going down between a woman's legs and driving her crazy out of her skin. I would assume that it's the same for a woman who loves to give a blow job. But I definitely don't do it to back-fill any deficiency in other areas. Here's why.
You could break down the whole action of giving someone head and come away with the thought that the one providing the service is the one who ended up with the short end of the stick, but there's nothing further from the truth.
For me, giving oral sex can result in the ultimate scenario where i have that feeling of power and control. As I probe around, finding the right spots, the right rhythm, the right touch, and the right blend and mix of all of those, I can get to the point where I can establish absolute reaction to every action. That feels incredible. Like your remote control actually changes the channel and volume when you press it's buttons, but MUCH better. It's like having the perfect ride in a perfect car where feathering the gas or the brake gives you the ultimate feedback where just slightest touch or lick can elicit the most primal moans. THAT is an incredible turn-on for me. It really is the pleasure of giving.
If you do a web search for oral sex or anything like that, there might be one in 20 where you'll see it's the girl on the receiving end. Given results like that, I had to wonder, do women even enjoy it? I should hope so... I'm chalking this one up to the fact that the porn is male dominated, so my research is skewed to follow that, and I'll stay blissfully keyed into the fact that I enjoy filling a very poorly serviced side of sexual relations.
Anecdotally, (according to the women I've been with) I've heard that most guys who do this are doing it like they're paying taxes or taking out the trash - like it's just something they've got to do to get it over with and say they did it. Which is a shame. There's a lot to love about it, but maybe a lot of my thrill is being able to satisfy a woman in a way that they haven't been much before; by someone who really enjoys giving a woman the tongue lashing of her life.
So what do you think? Is it common that someone goes down because they can't do it right any other way? Does a woman tend to think that if a guy loves it, they're not getting much else in the way of satisfaction? Is there a lack of guys who actually enjoy giving it like that?
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splash
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Posted:Feb 9, 2016 10:44 am
Last Updated:Feb 10, 2016 6:57 am
9154 Views
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Sometimes, when my brain decides to leave the confines of my skull and go wandering around, I can't resist wondering what it would be like to be something else.
Not a cat, dog, hamster (eww, especially hamster), not even a tree (because what would i be?) but more along the lines of something not-as-living but still organic. Something basic. Like a drop of water...
And what if the drop of water was out of a faucet? I'm starting to think about all kinds of things. There's lots of horrible ways for a drop of water to go... like cleaning up a filthy counter top or worse... but I should not dwell on those scenarios.
I'd rather be a drop of water that was lucky enough to wash a woman's body or better yet... the drop of water that springs out of a shower head into a woman's pussy, splashing between her fingers while they rub her to yet another soaked orgasm. I imagine being thrashed around at the most exclusively wet party in the universe. The thoughts of being so minutely involved in the act of pure excitement and being completely surrounded and consumed by her body's emissions of unmistakable pleasure. I don't want to leave.
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is hello offensive?
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Posted:Jan 28, 2016 11:30 am
Last Updated:Jan 29, 2016 4:56 am
10071 Views
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A while back, there was a video from an agency who posted a woman walking through the streets of New York. The shares of the video almost always included the words "woman harassed 100 times in 10 hours" or something close, and it was attempting to demonstrate how all of the males in the universe are shallow vultures who have no interest in anything but swooping in to grab a woman and leave her for roadkill once they were done with her. It seemed like a healthy amount of the harassment was limited to someone saying "good morning" or "hello", albeit somewhat creepy in tone, i think that's a fair distance from harassment, but some others were definitely creeps.
I don't want to debate the approach or the ultimate message of the video, and I understand that a colossal amount of people in the world are selfish scum who really are the type of person that the video is trying to expose. The comments from all over the internet had a pretty united message of "this happens to me all the time!" "guys are all pigs!" Unfortunately, I wonder if those people actually saw or even felt any resonance with the video when or if they watched it. One person who was affected was... me.
I was one of those in school who didn't really approach the girl. Not out of fear of rejection, but out of respect that they probably had something else more important going on, and if it were to happen, it'd happen through mutual attraction; not by me pounding on the door until someone answered. I didn't think about rejection, I had the self-awareness with people that I knew once people got used to the person i was, they would like me. But the cliff was getting to the point of "hey!". Well before they would ever know what type of person I was. The "hey" moment always seemed it was a light year away from me.
Ever since that video came out, I can only hope that it altered and shocked some of it's targeted audience into a sense of respect. I doubt it.
For me, I know it pretty much stopped me from walking by or sharing an elevator or doing whatever in the proximity of an attractive person and feeling any comfort level in saying "oh, those are really neat boots" or "wow, that's a great color on you", or anything that if said to me would really make my day. I think it, but that thought is tackled by "nope, don't say it, that's harassment! ... or creepy."
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