Egg watch and some drama
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Posted:Apr 11, 2011 7:43 pm
Last Updated:Apr 12, 2011 2:20 pm
20038 Views
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When we candled the eggs this weekend we tossed out the ones that hadn't developed, or had obviously stopped developing. We're down to 9 possibles. Today was the first day that they would/could hatch, but none so far. 2 more days of watching and waiting, though if any haven't by then we'll candle again to see if it's a good idea to wait any longer.
I'm getting pretty excited about having wee chicks again. 
I also got some seed starting trays today and will start planting tomorrow. I can't wait to have my flower garden again. Veggies too, but flowers!  My bulbs I planted in the fall are popping up and most of the snow is gone. 
The river was VERY high today! It's supposed to rain tomorrow again too. *sigh
Anywho, I had a wee bit of drama Saturday with Cinderella. She took a bike ride and ended up at her birth mother's apartment. Court order says no contact unless Cinderella's counselor condones it and she doesn't. Up until then Cinderella had told me that she didn't want anything to do with DB unless she was mad at me for something like telling her to clean her room or do her homework. She thinks she has changed her mind about that. I'm sure she's feeling a lot of things especially going to school with her 2 half sisters (twins) that still live with their mother. (Well at least they do now, she's abandoned them with various relatives numerous times while going out and getting fucked up and fucked only to retrieve them when the support money dries up.)
I did a bunch of research and found a lot of articles dealing with this sort of thing so Friday when I take her to counselling we'll talk about it a lot. Dirty Bitch called me up afterwards and told me a bunch of bull shit about how she's been sober for 2 years, has changed so much, matured...blah blah blah. 
Yeah. That's why The Boy got arrested recently for going to her place with a friend and smoking her pot. 
It's a small town.
She did tell me that I've done an amazing job raising Cinderella. I told her I didn't need her say so to realize that. I know how great she is because I have been with her every day and know exactly who she is and how far she's come despite her abuse and neglect and I don't want to see any of the progress she's made to be thrown aside by being around anyone that would drag her down. Also she's only 13. I'm not done raising her yet. 
Anywho, it's stressful. I know Cinderella will always love her birth mom, and that I can't tell her all the horrible shit she's done and does besides the stuff she already knows. I've never tried to tear down DB to her. Attacking the birth parent of a makes them feel attacked and I just won't do it. She knows far too much for a anyways. All I can do is to try to protect her from the toxicity that is DB. A manipulative crack that finds a new leaf every 6 months or so...when it suits her purpose, and then fucks every one around her both figuratively and literally.
I did an asshole thing though. I was mad at PF for letting her go on a bike ride knowing that she doesn't always go where she says she's going, and has lied and gone places she wasn't supposed to go before. I yelled at him. I know that he was only trying to get her off the couch and out of the house. I know that he was trying to give her some trust. I know that he didn't know what would happen. I was pissed anyways and I took it out on him because I didn't want to yell at Cinderella and because I'm angry about the situation. I hate it that DB moved so close to me and I can't really move. At least not easily. I own my house outright. I don't want to sell it and move away from my family and job. 5 more years I'm locked into the state retirement system. I have a ton of things I'm fixing in my house one thing at a time. It's not worth a ton, but when it's all fixed it will be great. Hell I think it's great now. But the thought does cross my mind. 5 more years Cinderella will be 18. I'm just not sure what the right thing to do is, but it's probably not the easy thing.
Anywho, it's the 2nd time in 3 years of knowing PF that we've had an argument. I did most of the yelling though.  I apologized, he apologized, but I still feel like shit about it. I handled my stress poorly and took it out on the one person (besides the midgets) that means the most to me. 
He's over it, I'll get over it, it just sucked all around.
Anywho, that's it for now. I'm still waiting on the court's decision about RB.
I did however find a ton of funny pics today.
Anything new in your corner of the world?
Got any words of wisdom for me?
Anyone deep in the mafia?
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14
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Dude
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Posted:Apr 11, 2011 6:19 am
Last Updated:Apr 14, 2011 5:59 pm
19526 Views
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In trying to not have cursing midgets I try to curb my chronic potty mouth by substituting words. When I was still with RB I used the word Dude a lot. IT was a substitute for Asshole. I made the mistake of telling him that though and so he kinda sorta had a meltdown in Walmart when I called him Dude. 
Since then I've gone through Sugarplum, Sweet Cheeks, Babydoll, Schnookie and Sassy pants. I just can't keep the same word for too long. It gets old.
I've been saying frilly frick a lot lately. I'm looking for some new substitutes. Got any good ones?
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9
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A rose by any other name
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Posted:Apr 6, 2011 3:01 pm
Last Updated:Apr 12, 2011 5:09 am
19901 Views
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I have a problem with remembering people's names. I work in a large facility with 4 separate floors with 30-40 residents on each floor. I work a shift and a half with 3-6 aides on each floor and 1-3 nurses on any given shift. (less when short staffed but that's another story)
On any given week I work with a large number of people. 3 shifts @ 12 hours each, 8 on night shift, 4 on day shift. 3-4 aides at night with 1 nurse, 5-6 aides on day shift with 2-3 nurses. Plus dietary aides, laundry personal, activities staff, social services, administration, doctors, traveling nurses, floats such as myself, continuing education nurse, secretaries, DON, ADON, Administrator, Computer Technicians, Human Resources, Floor coordinators, volunteers, religious leaders, Scheduling coordinator... fuck, it goes on. Lots of people. Tons of 'em. I just can't remember them all. 
I've had moments of complete and total blanks where I just for the life of me could not remember the name of who I was working with, or who I was looking at or for. Not to mention who I was trying to give a report on. 
I remember once when I was watching a lot of Blue's Clues with the Wee One and The Queen of No Pants I went into a room and asked the woman there if she'd seen "my friends".
Often I see people I worked with years ago at other facilities come to where I work now. Sometimes I know the face but not the name. Sometimes I don't remember them at all...but they remember me.
When someone can't remember my name I tell 'em "Hey you works!"
Does anyone else have this problem? How do you handle it graciously when you don't remember?
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7
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Positivilutely
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Posted:Apr 5, 2011 11:22 am
Last Updated:Jan 7, 2013 8:15 pm
19868 Views
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Some good things that have happened recently:
Drama Queen was Snoopy in her school's production of "You're a Good Man Charlie Brown". There are some pictures of her with her make-up still on at the face place for those of you who are there with me. She rocked! I think she was the best in the show and I'm trying to be perspective of it all. She didn't forget any of her lines, she had a sweet solo, and she was just a little scene stealer.
Anywho, it was good to go see. I forgot my camera for the actual play, but I did ask to have some copies of the pics others were taking. I shall wait and see.
We candled the eggs and it looks like they *all are developing. It was a bit hard to tell with a couple because they're so speckled, but we'll keep checking and will know for sure on those ones very soon.  They'll start hatching in about a week and a half!
I spent the morning having coffee with a friend of mine so I got out of the house for a bit. She has a puppy and Wee One and The Queen of No Pants had a lot of fun playing with him. I'm looking forward to better weather so that I will feel better about traveling a bit. There's an indoor pool area down near Hanover that I want to take the midgets to when it works so I'm looking forward to doing that with them. Maybe I'll be able to convince someone to go with me, that'd make it even better.
My mom got her new car after rolling hers down near West Lebanon during a rain storm.
PF has made our plans for Easter. His mom is going to Taiwan with his brother and sister in law who's from there. His dad will be working in the morning so PF's going to go to his parents to watch his Nana for a few hours in the morning and cook lunch with the Wee One and Queen of No Pants. When I get out of work at 11:00am I'll pick up Drama Queen and Cinderella and head up to a ready meal. We'll probably do an egg hunt when we get back home in the afternoon. It sounds like a nice way to spend the holiday. 
I got snuggled with. A lot. And he cooked dinner too.
I saw one of the worst, funny, horrible, crazy movies ever. Thankskilling. Search it. It's hilarious in a really retarded way. Tromatized!
Anywho, I'm feeling much better. Thanks to everyone that helped to cheer me up.
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2
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Caustic Bitch
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Posted:Apr 4, 2011 10:43 am
Last Updated:Apr 5, 2011 5:04 pm
19796 Views
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I'm in a mood. I'm not sure how to get out of it. There are many reasons, all out of my control. I've accepted it, I'm just angry as all hell about it. The weather is not helping and it's making it so I can't get out and do anything to make me feel better. 
I don't want to rip anyone's head off so I've put myself in time out so to speak, so that I won't. It's not their fault, they did nothing and so should not have to suffer the wrath of moi. Grrr.
It's days like this I really hate. Myself and everything around me.
I can't focus, can't read anything, can't sit and watch anything, don't want to move because I'm physically and emotionally in pain.
And now I feel like I'm whining or having a pity party which kinda makes me mad too.
Okay, so who's in charge of the weather? Change it. Get on it. Now.
Who can make my monthly go quicker? I don't care how long it's supposed to last. Make it stop. Now.
Who can make the judge give me the answers I want now instead of waiting around stressing about it? On it? Thank you.
So where's my massage, hot tub and bag of no calories but all of the good effects chocolate? Lower, harder, and damn it warm up those hands!
What? For me? Thank you. I may just get out of this mood yet. But not yet. 
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9
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Carpets
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Posted:Mar 27, 2011 6:48 pm
Last Updated:Apr 5, 2011 10:54 am
20812 Views
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I've got a rather personal question for you all. For personal grooming of the "carpet" do you trim, shave, let it all bush out, wax, make topiary animals, carve out lucky charms shapes or what?
And is there anything more awful than a nick down there? Well maybe an ingrown hair is worse... I dunno, both bad.
I know a girl that has a tattoo of a smurf pushing a lawnmower across the top of her bush. It amused me.
Anywho, for quite awhile now I've just done a landing strip down the middle and I'm getting bored with it. Yeah, I know, womens and their hair. I don't think I'm artistic enough to do a nifty shape though, and I don't want to go bald.  What's a girl to do?
Anywho, thinking about this kinda stuff is keeping my mind off the other stuff.
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4
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Faking it
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Posted:Mar 25, 2011 12:56 pm
Last Updated:Apr 5, 2011 10:52 am
20145 Views
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It's not that I'm not brave or confident. It's not that I'm insecure or weak. It's not that I fear what people think of me. It's that I fear the unknown. Not all the unknown, just the stuff that's really important to me. Like what the judge is going to decide. 
I think that I portrayed myself and my case well. I was prepared, had all the main points I needed to make written out for a cheat sheet to refer to if and when I needed to get the dates and references correct. I had everything I needed and I think I looked calm even though I was shaking inside. Anywho, I think that I faked it pretty well.
He on the other hand had nothing prepared including the financial affidavit he was supposed to have handed in weeks ago. He admitted to everything I stated with only small contradictions that he then contradicted himself on...and he started an argument with the judge over something really stupid that all I could do was shake my head and smile. I asked for the GAL that we've had in the past as she knows all of the and our history if the judge didn't have enough information with what we provided. RB stated that she was "prejudicial" and "didn't like him" so asked for a different one. GAL's are paid in NH. They do a very in depth job looking at ALL angles of what is best for the . They do not choose sides for the parents, they do it for the . That had to be a bit telling. 
Anywho, I'm trying to not get my hopes up, but I do think that it went well. I like the judge and have seen him rule on other stuff for other people. He seems to be down to earth and fair.
He's also the kind of judge that doesn't want to see people in there all the time fighting over the same kinda stuff, so the way he makes his rulings tends to be pretty final and made so that a big change needs to happen in order to see the same people about the same stuff again, which is great because I hate being there in the first place.
I know, this stuff isn't so funny and thought provoking as some of the stuff I like to do, but it helps me to write it all out for me, so there!
We got our eggs Monday! Post Office did not hold them there like they were supposed to though so they were in a cold truck for an hour and a half. We're going to candle them tomorrow to see if they're growing or not. *Fingers crossed!
I got new undies today! And socks. Not as exciting as the undies, but I like 'em.
Okay, here's something thought provoking maybe...
PF told me the other day about chatting with someone he used to be intimate with. They were fwb before I met him, haven't talked for a year. I didn't care. I'm not jealous, not insecure about it, totally fine with it. He said that he felt like he was going out on a limb a little bit by telling me because he was worried that I would be mad or something. Should I be? I don't think so. It's not as if he was chatting to hook up or anything, it was just a friendly conversation with someone he knew. I talk with people I was intimate with sometimes and I don't see anything wrong with it because I'm not betraying PF's trust by it. We've been monogamous for about a year or so and have always been open about what is what. I guess that's what it boils down to is honesty and communication. Anywho, thoughts?
Well it's about that time for me where I need to crash. I'll catch up with you all soon!
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11
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It will never come back
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Posted:Mar 22, 2011 1:01 pm
Last Updated:Apr 5, 2011 10:50 am
20179 Views
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Those few seconds you've wasted just now, they're mine now. Mwaahahaha! 
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2
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The Queen of No Pants had her party
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Posted:Mar 19, 2011 5:49 pm
Last Updated:Apr 5, 2011 10:49 am
19962 Views
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It's been a LONG week or so...
I had to reschedule TQoNP's party for today because she was still throwing up on her Birthday. I caught her tummy bug...on my days off. I was in bed Sunday afternoon after work until sometime Tuesday morning except for using the little girls room. Much needed rest, but damn it sucked!
Rotten Bastard is being himself and trying to get me to schedule something unsupervised. I'm not an idiot. He just wants it so that he can show the court that I'm flaky or something. I have texts from him though inviting him to her party etc where he clearly says "No." He's not visiting on his own volition, not because I "won't let him see the girls" as he claimed.
Wee One turned 3 yesterday. She was very happy when I put 3 candles for her on the cake today. And she blew them all out first try! 
So on to the party...
3 people RSVP'ed. Then 2 people canceled. The bug is making it's rounds. So only one of her friends made it, but there was a little girl about the same age visiting next door that Pater Familias got to come over too. Only problem was...she wasn't allowed to have any sugar. 
Birthday party...cake...ice cream...punch. I can't allow this little girl to have any of it. It's like I was a party to torture. And she whined about it.
I offered her some apple slices I had all cut up from a fruit platter. That was better than nothing, but it wasn't German Chocolate cake or Strawberry ice cream.
The other little girl didn't want any cake or ice cream. So I ask her if she wants anything else. She says YES. Apple slices. I had already given them all to the other little girl. So I cut up a fresh apple for her. She asks me to take the skin off. Fine. I do it. She takes her plate to the table where everyone is eating, sets it down and walks to the living room.
"Aren't you going to sit down and eat those? Everyone else is eating right now."
"I'm not hungry."
"You just asked me for that apple. I cut it up special for you because you wanted it. I even took the skins off because you asked me to. Now you're saying you don't want it???"
"Nope, I don't want it. I'm not hungry."
At this point, I'm getting pissed. Spoiled little princesses do nothing for me. I was SO glad it was almost time for the party to be over with.
I told her that asking for something special and then not eating it was rude and I walked to the kitchen to chill out.
PF thought maybe I shouldn't have told her she was being rude because it was a party. I disagree. This is TQoNP's friend. Assuming they stay friends it won't be the last time I see her here. I think it's important to let know house expectations when they're visiting. It leaves no guess work on their end. But that's me. Opinions?
Anywho, Drama Queen tells me after the party that she's disappointed her dad didn't show up. Apparently he had told her he would. I asked her if she was surprised and she said no and I left it at that. 
The Boy used to have a best friend that I really liked and hadn't seen for quite some time. He stopped by randomly today to visit and stayed for a good while. It was good to see him. He's a that had been in a bit of trouble, but has really turned it around. I've always told him that he's welcome to stop by any time, and I think he just may.
I also got a couple of bags of really nice clothes for TQoNP and Wee One today. Some of them still had the tags on them even! I love getting hand me downs that are in good shape.
We're getting our eggs on Monday! The incubator will be all set up tomorrow. OH! And we're getting blue chickens instead of what PF had originally wanted, but very pretty birds.
I'll get around to you all eventually, it's just been a bit hectic here. Court Wednesday so wish me good luck and a calm demeanor, steady hands as I'll be nervous as hell.
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2
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Poor midgets
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Posted:Mar 11, 2011 7:52 pm
Last Updated:Apr 5, 2011 10:47 am
21005 Views
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Drama Queen gave the tummy bug to The Queen of No Pants and tomorrow is her birthday. The poor has been praying to the porcelain god all day long. If she's not better tomorrow I may have to turn her friends away at the door as I don't have any of their . The midget has been looking forward to this for months.
All my fingers and toes crossed as she's kept some water and a bit of dry toast down for a few hours now.  I know, I know, don't jinx it!
Anywho, Rotten Bastard called at 10:00pm to ask if he could take her and Wee One to McD's for lunch today. That would be her birthday gift I guess. I was thinking about it, but obviously with the puking it wasn't going to happen. I told him he could stop by with some chicken noodle soup or something and have lunch with them, just to spend a bit of time and all, even offered for Pater Familias and myself to be scarce, but he declined. And then mumbled something about maybe next Friday.
Whatever.
I picked up her new little bike today and ordered her Dora cupcake cake. Wee One started to get a bit excited about her own big day coming up on the 18th.
Anywho, I did get some sleep last night...not that you'd know it by my face place page. I was streaming a Pink mix from the tube of you and shared 'em every once in awhile until I crashed for real. I really like most of her songs.
Anywho, I've been holding a sick midget most of the afternoon and evening and I'm gonna try and crash so I can get up and set up tomorrow. Trying to think positive that she'll be better by morning and ready to have fun. Midgets are pretty resilient like that.
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5
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Super Insomnia Unleashed
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Posted:Mar 10, 2011 7:07 pm
Last Updated:Apr 5, 2011 10:46 am
19934 Views
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Since Sunday afternoon I have had only half hour naps give or take until today. When I got out of work I slept from about noon until about 4:30pm. I am so freaking tired but I just can't seem to make my mind stop long enough to really crash well.
My mom rolled her car at the beginning of the week. Scary stuff, but she's okay thank Gawd.
The court shit was and is really weighing on my mind. I hate that drama stuff.
I'm all hormonal and shit, it doesn't help.
Drama Queen has been sick since Monday. Now The Queen of No Pants is sick too. I just know she's going to give it to Wee One.
I've limited myself to 2 beers tops a day and have only had six total the past 3 weeks. I was having a couple of drinks to fall asleep to but it's not helping me in a lot of other ways so I've cut way back.
I can't eat well. One meal a day tops, and I'm just not hungry most of the time. I take a few bites and don't want to finish.
Stress. Ugh!
Anywho, I've done a bunch of reading and stuff, but haven't been in the best of moods/frame of mind to form coherent sentences that sound half way intelligent. I refuse to look like a total ass anywhere but my own blog.
Well okay, so maybe not.
I've apparently offended a couple of people unintentionally. Just silly. I could apologize I suppose but it'd be fake, and I just can't and won't do/be that. I'm not sorry for anything I put here. It's my little corner of Blogland and I'm not intentionally hurting anyone. If my sense of humor is a bit off at times...well that's just me.
And that's all I have to say about that.
I've been terrible about communicating too. Ditto with the lack of intelligent coherent sentences.
This is a bit rambling. Maybe more than a bit. Uh, um, yeah. It totally is.
Just 10 more days until Spring! 2 Days until The Queen of No Pant's birthday! 8 Days until Wee One's Birthday! We should be getting our fertilized eggs right around there too. The incubator came the other day and Pater Familias was getting it all set up.
Well, I'm going to try and find some sleeping pills and force myself to sleep a few hours at least.
Wanna tell me a bedtime story?
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7
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Bitches
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Posted:Mar 9, 2011 2:49 pm
Last Updated:Apr 5, 2011 10:44 am
20753 Views
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Remember back in grade school and high school there were always those bitches that would look down their noses at anyone and rip 'em apart verbally because they thought it made them look cool or some shit in comparison? I dunno if they wanted to make the other person cry so they could feel superior, if they just wanted to deflect something, or what it is/was exactly that they hope to accomplish by doing this. I've just never understood it. I've always been someone that stands up for the underdog that couldn't defend themselves. I was always the girl that would make someone feel better because someone made them feel terrible. It just seemed like the right thing to do.
I wasn't popular in grade school, in fact there were a lot of reasons why I was down right unpopular. My parents religion, the way they dressed me, I was smarter than my peers, I was horribly shy.
Whatever, it doesn't matter now. There was a couple of girls over the years that downright tortured me. I'd never cry in front of them, or let them know how hurt I was, but it sucked. Yeah, ignoring it did make it go away, but it was hellish for a bit.
I survived obviously, didn't cut myself, didn't off myself, became the person I am. I'm okay with me. There are some things I don't like about myself, but who doesn't sometimes? I don't dwell. I have bad days and bad moments, I soldier on.
I had to go to court today, State V Boy. The Boy was there along with Rotten Bastard, Dirty Bitch and Old Dirty Bitch. It was awkward.
I do not like drama at all. I would much prefer to simply live and let live and just go about my own business without others interfering or messing with me. I don't cause drama, I try to diffuse it and or walk away from it.
The looks I was getting would've boiled me alive in oil with a side of jalapanos for heat.
Fine, it's okay. I'm a big girl, I can take it.
Testified, got the hell out of there as soon as I could, didn't look back.
Went to Wally world a bit after to get some stuff for dinner and Dirty Bitch was there with some other chick. I just happened to pick the check out register next to theirs without realizing it.
Me being who I am I decided to just look at anything but her and wait until my stuff was rung through to get out of there instead of chickening out and going to a different register.
I see her out of the corner of my eye whispering something to the other chick pointing to me and them both laughing. Really? Gonna be like that? Okay, I'm fine, my stuff is paid for, I'm walking out and I hear PIGGY SNORTING from Dirty Bitch directed at me. Yepper, I gained some weight from the three girls and haven't lost it all. It's true. No denying it. But seriously? What is she 12?
I just walked out pretending as if I never heard it, not much else popped into my head at the moment. I was too stunned at the immaturity to think of a good response...until after it was too late to matter.
What I could have said were several things.
"I know, I just couldn't go on crack to lose the weight like you did, someone needed to be a proper mother to the ."
*laughing "That immaturity must be why I'm raising your that wants nothing to do with you, and your is headed to prison!"
"Yes, you are a pig, thank gawd you've finally realized it!"
Eh, whatever, it's too late and nothing would have made a difference anyways, it just would have led to more drama.
Anybody else have any experiences like this? What did you do about it?
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To link to this blog (peekabooicu2ucme) use [blog peekabooicu2ucme] in your messages.
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